Hello all, I have a few questions please…
After immense study, I had decided 2 weeks ago to start practicing evocation again. I am learning from every ritual and realize this takes patience and dedication.
My question is this. So far in the past 2 weeks I have evoked 5 Demons. I am now at a rate of evoking everyday. However, each evocation I am invoking a different Demon as to greet and speak with them. I evoked Lucifer, then Belial next day etc. Is it ok to do it like this? I feel unsure as to what Demon I should devote more evocations too.
I am not getting full manifestation but I have had a range of experiences from blacking out, temp changes, getting electrified feeling of energy from the Demons, having them come inside me and having dreams where I’m doing magick.
Another thing is, I have a naturally kind disposition, as I am an EMT on a Rescue Squad. I feel however it is a weakness. I am wondering at this point what the Demons think of it? *** I literally tell them I love them and describe all the traits that make them admirable in my eyes and sometimes I feel there love but I am unsure if this is a good trait to have in working with them. Now despite living a hardcore life coast to coast and being a pro level rock climber, ex bull rider, cave rappeller etc. I am socially inverted. I am not agressive unless someone touches me, then my martial skills naturally flow like a beast. I am a true adventurer/explorer and can and do put my life on the line for fun(it’s like instant zen, you become ultra alert), but around people I can be a bit to “sweet” or “caring”. It actually makes me angry and I keep trying to get the Demons to come inside to fill me with more agressive energy. Also I feel like I’m being asked to choose between the love of power or the power of love but I choose power and with that the power to also make love.
My sole focus is Evocation to learn. I have not performed any spells for things as I feel it is important to make a connection first before asking an entity to do something for you. Even if you do think they live to do what they do, I still like to treat them as a new friend whom I can learn from.
If someone is able to maybe speak to the Demons for me and see what’s up, that would be great. Again I am practicing and understand all that needs to be done. I have gotten great results, but aside from being able to see them clearly in my 3rd eye, I still find myself lacking as I want to speak to them face to face in the incense(which I am learning to do, rapture plus t/g). Also, despite all the evocations, last night while evoking Belial, I was full of terror, truly scared so I slacked on the chants and focus. I don’t ever get scared of anything so this was odd but I feel a connection to him.
I’ve always been a genuine, natural rebel and literally followed my heart thousands of miles across country atleast 10 times to live out crazy dreams. I always put it all on the line to live my way, outside of societies ideas. This lead to trouble when I was younger but oddly the things I should have went to prison for I ALWAYS got away with(most friends went to prison or died but I was always protected, just as I am with extreme sports) I dont cause trouble anymore and am now an EMT. I also was lead into experiences on my journeys that brought about experiences which make movies like Fear and Loathing look tame lol I also have a closet full of books covering nearly every pantheon of spiritual practice but I learned over the years that experience is where true living wisdom is. So I can talk in depth on many subjects, yet I am humble enough to know where I need to grow.