Everytime I wake, I like lying around in bed, but sleep paralysis always kicks in. It’s more prone when I’m lying on my back, but it happens on my sides too, and generally when I’m thinking about occult related things I noticed, or enter into this state of mind that has the fear of the unknown. I’ve read that sleep paralysis happens when the mind is awake but the body is asleep, but it’s strange, because my body is falling asleep again before my mind does? Not sure what’s happening there.
I start becoming paralyzed and I can’t move. I fight the paralysis, but it’s exhausting. Sometimes I wonder where it will take me, so I succumb and in my ears, it’s like being submerged underwater. The more I let go of my consciousness and will to fight it off and relax, the more the noise grows in my ears. Eventually, hear a woman screaming, no words in particular just an “aaaaa”. I become afraid of what will happen next and I try and fight it off by waking myself.
One time, I was particularly fed up, and managed to muster up a yell in anger despite being unable to move, and told whatever it was that was causing the sleep paralysis to go away. The sleep paralysis stopped for a few while, but now its back.
Sleep paralysis comes often, and it’s uncomfortable, but I’ve begun to notice the onset so I can fight it off. But I’m wondering what’s happening.
I don’t feel anything particular, except fear of what’s going to happen next.
I once dreamt of having sleep paralysis while taking a nap. I was definitely asleep, but somehow I was awake in my room? I decided to succumb in the dream to the paralysis. It was like submerging myself in water, and allowed whatever it was to happen (it was a dream so I felt less scared) and in that dream I spoke with something or someone.
I couldn’t get their name, because I was scared and would resist when they told me their name, but whenever they spoke in my head and I heard their voice, I felt intense burning pain. I never feel pain in my dreams, but this was enough to cause me to writhe in agony. I felt myself sweating from all the pain, but whatever it was carried on the conversation with me about something related to life and profoundly deep things. I don’t remember many details of what we spoke about (typical dreams) but I do recall a snippit.
Me: “Whenever you talk, it hurts so much. Why does it hurt?”
???: “Because you hold a lot of hatred in your heart. Try relaxing, like you’re meditating.”
I took deep breaths and relaxed, and when they spoke, there was no pain. I remember it feeling weird, cause I would brace myself for the burn in my chest, but nothing happened. This dream was particularly strange because it felt so vivid and real. I never feel pain in my dreams, and when I’m ‘hurt’ I wake up instantly. Nor do I ever dream of my room, or have such levels of control. The dream ended when I tried to ask for their name for the third time, and I couldn’t hear it again.
Either way, would like to know what to do about all this sleep paralysis. Wondering if it’s something negative to stop, or something I should explore, and any particular precautions to take? The strange thing is that this sleep paralysis isn’t particularly forceful (unlike a few other times), moreso I feel like I’m inflicting it upon myself sometimes, and since I can sense the onset, I can choose to fight it off.
I get the feeling something spirit related is causing it, didn’t use to have sleep paralysis at all until I became curious of magic. Would appreciate some advice, even if it’s all just my vivid imagination that I can put behind me.