Hail Lucifer and King Belial for getting me out of my garbage fire of a relationship, I will never be able to thank them enough. 2 weeks ago I asked Lucifer to remove my lying, cheating, emotionally abusive covert narcissist boyfriend of 2.5 years from my life in any way possible or guide me to a spirit who could. I broke down in tears during the evocation and I felt kind of silly for that, but there was a strong comforting presence in the room. I got a sense of “you’re going to be okay”. I also got a sudden headache in my 3rd-eye spot right as I was ending the evocation. It felt like something entered my brain from the outside in, I don’t know how else to describe the sensation.
For the whole week following that, I hadn’t been able to get Belial out of my mind so I took that as a sign. I had strong chills from the moment I started chanting his enn. I know he’s contacted me in the past through dreams, like a few months ago right after I first found out about the extent of BF’s lies and cheating, I dreamed that I unfolded a piece of paper with Belial’s name on it. It seems like he’s just been waiting for me to call him to get this chud out of my life. I asked him to sever whatever ties were holding me to my now ex- psychological, emotional, spiritual, etc, just get rid of whatever is making it so hard to leave. I offered him a shot of Kraken rum, some nice salted dark chocolate, some of my blood on his sigil, and promised a thank-you post here when all was said & done.
I went to put the offerings on the altar but felt the strongest urge to drink the rum. I NEVER drink alcohol, I can’t stand the taste but I had this little voice in my mind saying “chug! chug! chug!” I laughed out loud and asked him if he wanted to me to drink it and got the feeling that he would be greatly entertained if I did. Down the hatch it went lol. Side note- it wasn’t that bad, I may drink with Belial more often now.
After the events of this past week I really think having me drink it was not just so he could have a good chuckle at a lightweight gagging down liquor, but also his way of transplanting me with the strength and righteous anger I needed to finally stand up for myself cause it was like a switch flipped as soon as I took that shot. I no longer felt any fondness or loyalty to my ex, only disgust and anger. The fog completely lifted. I stewed for a few more days trying to decide how to break things off but by Thursday night I was on the verge of exploding with rage and finally just dumped him in no uncertain terms via email. Judge me for that if you will, but with any type of abuser it’s not always safe to break up with them in person. I blocked him everywhere, deleted my facebook, muted him on work chat(can’t block completely, unfortunately), and am finally done. And it feels different this time too. I’ve tried to leave twice before but I still loved him and felt guilty for dumping him. This time though- Just relief, optimism, and a strength I haven’t felt in years. My appetite is back and I’m laughing and smiling again.
Ex is still trying to message me at work, the standard BuT i LoVe YoU LeT mE eXpLaIn! fake remorse manipulative BS followed by sending links to videos and memes as if we’re still friends or something but I’m not responding. I WANT to respond and tell him off, but I know it’s all just a hoovering attempt and with narcissists any attention you give them, positive or negative, only serves to encourage them.
Thank you thank you thank you Lucifer and Belial. I love you both so much. Lucifer already has his own dedicated altar spot, but Belial is definitely getting one now too.
I may still send Glasya-Labolas after him(and go to HR) if he doesn’t stop bugging me, but holy shit y’all. It truly is Independence Day.