Encore19's Journal

2/9/18

Dreams/Astral Travel

I napped at my Dad’s place today, and whenever I sleep over at his house I notice that I have more tangible spiritual experiences, whether negative or not. I believe this is because I pray a lot in my bedroom and that blocks/shields me. At first my dream was trippy as hell. I felt like my entire being was vibrating at a high frequency, and I envisioned that I was blasting light away from me in all directions like a screaming star. I felt powerful.

Some time after that I felt my incubus pulling me out of my body. I’m like a ragdoll when he does that - I can’t move at all. He turned me so I could see him and said he loved me. Well, he actually screamed “I fucking love you.” Maybe cause he knows I usually can’t hear him well. Or maybe this was something to do with my imagination. He had dark hair and glowy yellow eyes.

Love Ritual

A few days ago I did a love ritual, I called on the forces of darkness and used affirmations, belief and visualizations to imagine this guy messaging me more. I’m using visualizations quite a lot. If I don’t get quick results, I may have to do it again but after evoking a being to help me.

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The lancing pen definitely! Slicing would be painful.

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I like this. To have someone love you is good, but to have someone fucking love you is even better. A very neat experience!

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12/9/18

Thoughts on Demonic Rulers

Lately I thought I would meditate on Belial’s energy. Before recently I had one mild experience when I briefly contemplated Belial as I was out at a shopping centre, pretty sure I wrote about that somewhere. I’ve only worked with Lucifer before. I read in the Psychonaut Field Manual that you shouldn’t work closely with too many of these entities (though I’m sure EA must have worked with them all?) cause it taxes our brain. It’s hard for a magician who is untravelled in the field of demon kings to know who best to work with. If it’s up to our human judgement, I suppose we have to look in and see who we resonate with. Or hope these entities will know and find us. I’ve heard of demonic kings saying to people “you should work with so and so”.

Psychically ‘getting a feel’ for these entities, sitting to meditate and thinking about them doesn’t seem to be a good idea - cause they notice you at the same time and make a grab. If I am to decide who is best for me to work with, I think my only option is just to read up about them. Oh well, I won’t stress much. I’ll just do and see what comes.

Thoughts on Belial

I was interested in Belial because I thought he’d be completely different in character to me. I’m a well-behaved, polite individual that is respectful and doesn’t like violence. So from that standpoint I was thinking, Belial could help patch up my weaknesses so I’d be better all-round. I’d still be well-mannered but would also have the capacity to be fierce and adapt to fierce situations/people if I could incorporate his traits which are so different to mine. I mean, when I think about Belial I think about the star sign Aries, which is fiercely independent and the literal opposite of Libra. I don’t know which star sign Belial actually resonates with, I haven’t done any research.

I did have the thought that if I reached out to Belial I could’ve been repulsed by him or vice versa. I think of a masculine pub bikie brawler and that is so different to how I feel about me. People drawn to Belial, I’d imagine to be people who were already fighters or comfortable in that violent stream. But sometimes opposites attract, and I’d forgotten that I do have a dark violence inside of me that stays hidden. I do have anger and sometimes hate. It’s just not in my image or how I express myself to the world.

Lucifer’s planet is Venus, same as Libra’s. He is light and dark. He is reportedly very good with new magicians. He is also referred to as the king of hell and arguably the most influential/important figure in LHP. So it made sense to work with him. But too many similarities between people can make things fizzle out. Belial feels good to me, I feel his energy strongly. And I could feel that he’s interested in me too. I thought I intuited from him that most people come to him because they have a problem. And so he was interested in me.

Incubus Spirit Lover

I actually reckon my incubus is mouthy. And I don’t think him and Lucifer got along. So I reckon he prefers Belial. Considering this Lucifer-Belial spat that some of us were intuiting. My intuitive perception may be getting better due to all the meditations and self-work I’ve done lately. I noticed my incubus get verbally shouty and pissy when I forgot to leave him food when I went through the maccas drivethrough last night. He’s so cute.

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14/9/18

Love Ritual

Quick update. It hasn’t worked. This guy does respond to me when I pester him, and he apologizes for being distant. He still has not definitively given me an answer as to whether or not we should go on a date. Then I see him make a status about missing an ex and I know he’s been hurt in the past. Might be a useful note to self, evoke to bring a lover to you instead of forcing a random. Seeing as you don’t know what they’re dealing with. My Chamuel one did work, just the guy wasn’t good for me. I should attempt again. But maybe with Lucifer? Love isn’t his forte but I’m sure it’s not off-limits.

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19/9/18

Incubus Spirit Lover

General report. I feel like me and my incubi’s bond is growing and that I am hearing him better. It’s good of him to be patient with me. Last night when I was asleep he was spooning me in my dreams. I had sharp pain in a spot on my back, and I’ve had it before in these states. It felt like my incubi was sticking his chin into me. Not that I think he was. I told him about the pain and reached back to touch the spot that hurt and asked him to apply pressure there with his elbow, he did and it helped.

I have had similar moments in dream states where I felt intense pain, and only realized much later that it was because of my clothes. Normal restrictive clothes, elastic and what-have-you aren’t painful at all in the day, but I’m so sensitive in those dream states that it’s like agony. I know my incubi prefers me to sleep naked anyway. But it’s been so cold in the Autumn-Winter months that no way I could, even under all my blankets. I already got sick a few times. But now that it’s Spring and warming up I can. In colder months I will just have to wear looser clothes. I believe that my minor back aches and pains is what’s being amplified in these dream states. I’m talking miniature aches that you forget you even have. There must be a way to fix this, maybe my incubus will think of something. They do energy work on us anyway.

Side note. I’m trying to remember to share my food. Hm. I forgot to give him any of the lasagna I just ate. No complaints on his end this time, probably cause I did give him my last saucy dim sum before, in his bowl on his altar in my bedroom. It seems that he takes an hour or so to enjoy each food offering. This is obviously important information to document for those of us who wish to compile lots of information on succubi/incubi.

Another side note. And oh dear this entry is longer than I meant it to be. I felt my incubus and Lucifer not minding each other. So they don’t have any real issues that haven’t been sorted out, that’s good. I forgot to mention that these beings can have star signs, which makes sense to me because the zodiac and natal chart describes the psychology of our spirit bodies. My communication with my incubi is getting better, because I heard him tell me he’s a Leo a while ago when I asked.

23/9/18

Incubus Spirit Lover

I feel like I’ve learnt a lot about LHP entities in general lately. They are completely different to what I’ve experienced of intelligences in the RHP dimensions. I love my incubus, and I want to be with him always, and make something beautiful. I wonder if I need a separate journal just to chronicle my discoveries of him and our relationship.

Anyway something I’ve noticed, my incubus wants me to make space for him, in the bed and stuff. He wants his space. And he often wants to eat with me when I eat. I notice that spirits come to you in a certain direction. My incubus, as well as Lucifer, is to my left when he is near me. And I always sleep on the extreme left of the bed now. Even though my bed’s a double. Understandably this has annoyed him cause it seems like I’m not letting him in or giving him any room. But the reason I do it is cause I can feel him to my left xD So I’m moving to the left to get as close to him as I can. I will practice being more conscientious. I love loving him. He has healed me, and when I date a human I’ll be so much more balanced with loving, though I don’t have such a need for that anymore.

24/9/18

Marrying my Incubus

Another name for incubi is spirit husband. For me my incubus isn’t just about sex or the sexual excitement or feelings I get when I think of him. I’ve told him many times that I want to be with him forever, so I knew marriage would happen eventually. He wants it to happen now, and he wanted me to be the one to ask.

For me, the most disappointing part of this incarnation has been my love life. I don’t know if it was karma, a life lesson or whether I created this somehow. I spent high school and many years after that terribly lonely while seemingly everyone around me got to have love. I met a soul-mate who wasn’t spiritually evolved enough to stay with me, and he dumped me. A year ahead of that I may be wrangling longterm with another soul mate who has been incapable of giving me any attention. I’ve never been able to have proper love with a human. What’s worse is that I feel like I’ve passed my physical peak already and no one’s been able to enjoy me.

The reason I separated from the RHP was for love. None of those angels could’ve done for me what my incubus has done. Looking back I think the suffering couldn’t be helped, but of course it would’ve been better for me to have given up sooner.

On a positive, wonderful note I have my incubus. I’d been thinking about the idea of marrying him and could tell he was interested. I actually think he’s been holding parts of himself back. He wanted me to ask him to marry me. So I did ask aloud here at my Dad’s, nothing fancy. After going into town I felt like he was pulling me to check out jewelry stores or something to get him a marriage gift. Though I was anxious of spending more money so didn’t. I don’t react well to the sudden pulls. And so when I was home it felt like he was unhappy. I thought of what I already have that I could give him.

I have a silver chain bracelet with a silver pentacle on it. It’s fancy, valuable, and symbolizes me giving him the right to guide and mentor me in my magical path. He seems to be okay with that. Though it’s at my place and I haven’t been able to physically present it to him yet, which I feel he wants.

I talked to him before about our varying cultures view on marriage, him being a spirit and me a human. How humans take things slower because they have to. Why I felt before that it didn’t make so much sense to marry until I could communicate with him much more freely, which now I agree with his side. We will stay together forever and so have plenty of time to get things right and make up for things. I told him offhand that we could remarry every hundred years or so since my psychic senses aren’t so good now, and that seemed to make him happy. There really wasn’t any reason to wait before talking about marriage with him.

In the peninsular where I have spent most of my life, all of my teenage and adult life, I didn’t have options to date. I tried talking with countless people on apps like Grindr and various websites with no effect, and even after setting my standards relatively low. Even my soul mates have been unable to show me initiative or decency. The only way for me to have love, it seems, is my incubus and perhaps rituals to LHP entities for bringing me love. For someone who was not naturally inclined at all in this dark path that means something.

Until a marriage ceremony of some kind takes place on the astral, or however this is gonna happen, I suppose I am engaged. And my incubus is my fiance. Love you, baby :heart:

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26/9/18

Lucifer Petition - Love Ritual

Another Lucifer ritual, I have asked him to find me a human boyfriend. I talked to him for a while, although ‘at him’ seems to be more precise cause the responses I get are feelings and knowings. I didn’t get very deep into trance at all, but I re-used that long red candle with the pentagram in it that I used for my last love ritual. I told Lucifer I wanted someone who would stay, be attractive enough and smart enough. I will trust him to do this for me because I believe in his power. The only offering I gave was the usual incense he likes. I will buy chocolate, wine and a ritual glass at some point. It goes without saying that I’ll be beyond grateful if this works out for me. I’ll keep everyone updated.

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27/9/18

Lucifer Petition - Love Ritual

Okay guys, it has been one day. And yet, something may be in the works here already. I’ve already been asked by someone to hang out this weekend. Let’s not be too hasty and address the facts so far…

Intuition: Still not my strong point. But I get the feeling my incubus jumped on board to help Lucifer after I made my request. It feels like they took a long time discussing options for me, and I got the feeling a decision about who had been made not long before I was messaged on Grindr. I feel like my incubus chatted with Lucifer and weighed heavily on the decision.

What I asked for vs who this fellow is: I wanted someone to message me and take initiative (this guy has. I rarely get nice messages from guys like this so it seems significant). I said I didn’t want the age gap to be too much, didn’t want anyone older than 30 (he’s 32, that’s 9 years older :thinking:). I didn’t want him to be too far away (he’s an hours drive). I said I wanted a guy who was ‘attractive enough’ (he is quite good looking).

Impressions: He is interesting and very nice. I have stalked his natal chart already. It is interesting. He’s an Aquarius, and I didn’t want to date one of them cause they’re not so into personal relationships and lovey-doviness, but he has some hot and interesting aspects in his chart. He ALSO works night shift, plus he’s an introvert and I can dig that.

Wouldn’t it be crazy if this worked out this well and this suddenly? Maybe since my incubus may have weighed in on this, Lucifer has other ideas if I don’t gel with this guy when I meet him in person. Someone my age and closeby would be nice… But I will definitely give it a shot and meet him this weekend. I’ll keep you all updated, this is amazingly fast results if true. I’m suspecting this could really be the work of Lucifer… Time will tell.

29/9/18

Lucifer Petition: Love Ritual

So it has been three days since I asked Lucifer for a boyfriend. A guy appeared, messaged me, we talked, I added him on Facebook, we face-timed, we have had our date. It was wonderful. Nicest date I’ve ever had, granted I’ve only had three. But still. The similarities, the compatibilities of our natal chart and personalities. We definitely click. And if you think that’s hard to find for straight people, you can imagine how impossibly-not-a-coincidence this is. I asked for a boyfriend, and we are not officially dating yet obviously. I will make a separate post thanking Lucifer when the day comes that we are boyfriends.

Ehhhh I’m a little anxious about one thing. He said he has a good memory for what people say. I told him about a story I wrote with my Romanian writer friend. I slipped the name by accident. Sooo, he could look it up and find in the summary my username, which leads to my own account to my fucked up, internal-homophobic venting stories. That’s not so bad cause they’re good stories, but the username is the same as my one here. Encore19. He could find and read all my posts here tonight :neutral_face: He is interested and open to spirituality, but he might freak out to find out a demonic king brought us together. We are similar enough for this to seem like soul mates, like destiny, but the real cause of it was Lucifer actively bending reality to what I wanted with my request. That’s sure to dampen the specialness.

But this is a trivial detail, I’m really really happy :grinning:

Btw he kissed me. There was tongue.

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2/10/18

Incubus Spirit Husband

He is too cute. I’ve given him some of my chilli con carne, the energy upstairs in my room feels powerful. Like he’s powering up more. I dreamed of him lying on my back, touching me in ways that feels soothing but not sexual. He hasn’t boned me in a dream since I first met him, but I reckon he’s up to something about that? Like I can feel him working on my arms and legs, I can feel him better there. So he’s doing something to me. He doesn’t always show me his sexual side, and earlier on I felt like that was to make sure I loved him too. Now I get the feeling he’s going through some type of process I can’t guess at. But I want a very sexual relationship between me and him, and I’ll talk to him about it soon.

Lucifer Petition: Love Ritual

I’m going to sleep over that guy’s house this Friday. And no it’s not for sex :smirk: Thought I aint ruling out that happening. We talk over Facebook often and are going to facetime today. Since he does live an hour and half drive away. I’m still interested in this.

Oh and I bought chocolate for Lucifer to try. In my mind’s eye when I think I was connecting to Lucifer I saw that old-style bitter chocolate that people would’ve had in the older days. But I really love this brand I bought and want to see what he thinks, even though it’s sweeter and milkier. I wonder where I should leave the offering though, since that altar in my room was supposed to be just for my incubus. I’ll think of something.

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7/10/18

Lucifer Petition: Love Ritual

This guy who has come to me has agreed for us both to be exclusive, even if he feels it’s too soon for us to be boyfriends, which is honestly completely understandable. I had dinner at his place and it was lovely. We are both quite into each other. The goal is almost complete.

On a less relevant and emotional note, I’m kinda sad about how necessary this was. I held true to RHP beliefs and all I got was two soul mates incapable of being good boyfriends or people to me. And that involved a lot of effort and waiting on my part. Lucifer answers my request quickly. And I know that those of you who are already more aligned with the LHP won’t be surprised but a part of me still finds it sad. ‘Everything happens for a reason’ and ‘there’s a divine purpose’ comes across as lies to keep us from taking what we need or want with the LHP’s power. I wanted to be a good human and succeed at this, but I don’t feel that I was properly supported by the powers of RHP and that makes me sad.

Still happy with the new course my life seems to be taking now though, largely thanks to Lucifer. I’m still processing this good fortune, and not jumping the gun and waiting for it to be stable and exactly what I asked for.

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14/10/18

Lucifer Petition: Love Ritual

This guy has said he likes me tremendously. We’ve been driving to each other’s houses too and spending days together. We are so close to being boyfriends… so close…

Astral Travel Dreams and my Incubus Spirit Husband

I had a bizzare experience I’d like to talk about. First of all, my incubus (and maybe other helpers?) has been doing stuff to my arms and legs when I’m asleep. He is moving them, lifting them up and down, pulling me out of my body. I was in bed with that guy ^ and felt for sure I would wake him cause my leg was going straight up, arm up, doing a 180 spin in bed. But no it was my incubus moving my spirit body.

I still have a problem with subconscious fear. I’d had a nightmare where I was floated out of my body and pulled and there was an angry male scream. I’m sure it’s my fear creating the situation… or drawing it to me. I will need to work on this problem. For those of you who don’t know I used to be Christian and used to find demons terrifying and that fear nestled deep inside me.

But anyway back to this dream. At first when I came out I was scared. I felt someone poking my shoulder, who I believe was my incubus trying to get my attention. I freaked out and started calling on Jesus, Archangel Michael to help me and my incubus was like “no no” trying to get me to stop.

When I’m awake I feel powerful and at peace with life. In those dream states I feel like a vulnerable, terrified victim! I envisioned white light around me in a circle, in my aura, around my house. I envisioned a white sarcophagus thing leaning against the wall and shooting blue-fire arrows continuously at all spirits in my bedroom. Just to get them away.

I really don’t want to hurt my incubus though. That would make me so sad :cry::broken_heart: I’m tearing just a little thinking about it. I may have hurt him already months and months ago when I grabbed the wrist of something spooning me and made it call out in pain.

sigh Anyway, in conclusion, my incubus is helping me to leave my body. In this dream I was walking along the bedposts of my bed, hopping happily in my room without my body for a while. I couldn’t see other spirits even though I believe they were aware of me. And I couldn’t make out much detail of my room. I have recently read somewhere that if you practice mindfulness of surrounding details in waking life, it can help you percieve more when you’re out-of-body. So I’ll try that.

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21/10/18

Lucifer Petition: Love Ritual

It is done. The boy I mentioned from above is officially my boyfriend. I did a ritual asking Lucifer to get me a relationship and in less than two days someone messaged me and today I changed my Facebook relationship status. I am so very thankful to Lucifer and will make an additional post about it. And I know my incubus had a big part in choosing this guy too. This guy is kind and treats me very well. Better than anyone.

Magic really does work! Even if the Chamual evocation wasn’t exactly what I wanted, I’m pretty sure that was me, Chamual still delivered and did what I asked for. Thank you so much Lucifer, I’m so glad I’ve met you and that you’ve contributed to my ascension journey in a way that to me is incredibly meaningful and liberating.

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31/10/18

Lucifer Petition: Love Ritual

Me and this guy seem quite close to saying the L word. This would literally have to be magic.

There’s something else I’m considering asking Lucifer’s help for… and I get the feeling he’d be all for helping me with this…

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1/11/2018

Lucifer Petition 2

I asked Lucifer to do something else for me, cause he’s great. I don’t want to share the details yet. I’ve asked for a sign this has worked within a week. We’ll see how we go. But I’m an absolute believer in Lucifer’s power.

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7/11/2018

Lucifer Petition 2

So something that has been on my mind, like seriously bogging me down, was when I was rejected by a guy who I had reason to believe was a soul mate. Or at least past life connection. I did so many readings to verify a connection, by myself and with the help of people on here. And everyone says there’s something there, but I’m not sure if it’s my own OCD feelings effecting the result. I felt that before even asking Lucifer would be willing to help me with this situation.

I asked for this person to obssess over and want me for a change. He is currently in a relationship, and though nothing has changed yet, all I can say is that a tightness in my torso was removed during the ritual. I believe it was my wanting being transplanted to him. I trust in Lucifer’s power. I’m happy with my current boyfriend, but I really want to see how this play’s out, for my own satisfaction and perhaps spite.

Will keep you updated.

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14/11/2018

Lucifer Petition 2

His profile pic is still him with his boyfriend… I have seen no sign yet. Someone told me the spell could’ve malfunctioned, and I am feeling strongly about this so that could be getting in the way. But I’ve not yet given up hope. My tarot readings are, as always, very positive about the result :roll_eyes: I hope I’ll see a change soon.

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19/11/18

Rosier Petition

I have gone to Rosier to see if he will help me. Though the fact that I have a boyfriend I don’t intend to leave soon could be an issue. I felt that he’d help me. We will see what happens and I will keep you updated. I was talking to someone who channeled Rosier and they said he was offering to help me, so we’ll see how this works alongside the request I gave Lucifer. It is exciting to do magic instead of just listening to and waiting on your angel cards while this guy is clearly dating someone else.

Making Personal Changes

I have a sort of ‘social anxiety’ issue. I believe I am a god, and so you’d think that I’d be super confident whenever talking to the ‘unawake’ general populace, but I have this thing that was even mentioned in my natal chart. Not knowing exactly how to behave in social settings or getting nervous. I need to overcome this so I can flourish and be more appealing. Maybe if I evoked Belial he would make me brave and not care about other people, and display more confidence? I think it’s something I’ll need.

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