I suffer from depression but recently i have come to the point of the smallest thing setting me off
Crying most of the time etc.
I start to think about people who have passed away and it makes me start crying then songs associated with those people start to play over and over in my mind and it makes me start crying.
Also when people mention someone passed away and i don’t even know them it makes me cry too for example i will start wondering how their family or loved ones feel about them passing then i think what if i had been their friend etc and known them and it lasts for weeks instead of maybe a couple of days
Has anyone else had experience of this? Or healed it with spells? So that when you hear something like this or hear songs that make you sad you just don’t feel anything at all? Like an emotional numb
I would rather feel numb than feel like crying all the time
You’re better off letting it pass and healing over tim. If you try to suppress it and make it numb, it festers underneath and comes back to bite you later.
It’s painful but bets to face it head on and get it over with. “Shadow work” to figure our why you’re so affected and why you’re focused on on this so much, instead of the other more positive things in your life, can help a lot. It’s important as a mage to fully understand yourself and this is part of that.
Try the angel Orpaniel from Angels of Alchemy, who can heal emotional turmoil related to human relationships. This includes healing existing relationships and healing yourself of past relationships.
If this is more of a generalized misery, like recurring anxiety, then it may be that there isn’t anything in particular causing it other than the emotion itself just arising over and over again uncontrollably. There are other angels in the book like Gavriel, angel of strength, which could provide the transformation needed to overcome this.
You also can’t really go wrong with archangel Raphael for any healing.
There are also some rituals in Healing Magick by Rose Manning, such as ones to relieve depression and anxiety, however minor or severe it may be.
It’s true that feeling nothing in particular is better than recurring anxiety, but if you don’t actively make sure to introduce pleasure into your life while assuaging the negative emotion, you’ll probably just fall back into old patterns, so I would evoke other angels as well like Tzuriel, angel of pleasure, Oziel, angel of change, Ialpiel, angel of sustenance, and Trumiel, angel of exaltation.