I had a convo with myself today and realized I am extremely attached to my Ego. I realised I am scared of ascending because I don’t want to lose the little me, my physical personality. However I do want to do all the above because I do want to ascend and see the real instead of the illusion. It’s contradictory, I know but it can’t be helped it being so. How do I go about it? I do want to ascend, I want to be more, but at the same time I’m scared shitless of the new me. But I want the new me. See what I mean? I have no idea how not to stop myself each time I try to ascend… any help is greatly appreciated.
You don’t get rid of the ego. That is the Right Hand Path approach.
A healthy ego is needed in this physical world; it is what directs your desires. As a black magician, you make your ego your ally, instead of your enemy. It is your partner in your Ascension, not an obstacle to overcome.
I look at it this way: Because I have an ego, a physical me, a self, I can see “the real”. If I didn’t have one, I would not be able to understand what it is like, I would not understand why things are what they are, I would have neither the possibility nor the desire to understand.
You can’t get rid of the ego. The ego is your personality, your identity. You can temporarily silence it (used many times when some take hard shrooms) but you can’t remove it.
So I have been looking at it the wrong way… merge. Now that is what I like. Damn it feels good to have been wrong. The fear is gone too and right now i feel energy erupting from my heart center and flowing everywhere in my body while i’m typing lol I’m happy to have been an idiot hahaha
The ego is living the paradigm of being alive through the senses which are the lowest faculties of man: hearing, smelling, touching and so on. In that state can also primates like chimpances live.
To go further and taking the ego glasses off means to use the higher faculties to live and grow like visualisation, planning, have goals and so on
There was this talk about Neoplatonism and other religious system based on it (Hermeticism, Gnosticism) saying that you cannot fully remove the Ego. Even if you do psychedelics or meditation, the ‘ego-death’ you experience isn’t the full removal; it’s temporary, and it’s partial, you just weaken it’s presence and shove it in the background. From my experience I can attest to that, as after a while it will come back, and sometimes it will come back stronger.
It was said that as the Ego is responsible to your survival instincts and the physical body, if you fully killed it, you would basically die - I don’t know about that, but it can be hard to get rid of it… and yeah, as black magicians we want to embrace our desires, so most of us don’t want to erase it completely.
You can try invoking your superego demon function to overshadow your ego hero function. It would require you to do a MBTI servery to know what it is. I recommend this thread for more information.
I agree with this as a friend of mine experienced this and he had to “drag” his ego out of the background while he was under the influence of psychedelics.
Well, it can take you to both “Kether” and “Ain” (or see how everything is you, and the nothingness behind everything) - at that point it’s like you lost consciousness, but somehow not really. I experienced it so long ago that I wanna replicate the experience.
In Hinduism, shiva’s cobra represents the healthy ego as an adornment upon the true self or Atman. This is the way to go. Let your ego be an adornment. Not a hindrance. Accept it for what it is and don’t beat it down as something “bad”. It’s really not.
If you get rid of the “ego”, a new one will arise in its place as soon as you begin to identify yourself (“I”). That is the nature of this “ego”.
If you could get rid of it you wouldn’t be functional.
Egolessness is a place to visit, not to stay (and indeed it would be impossible to stay there unless you transcended material existence altogether and then you would be gone)
Anyone who claims not to have an ego is a charlatan and the worst kind of liar.
The mistake you’re making is thinking that who you are is more “fixed” or constant than it really is.
Look back. Are you who you were 10 years ago? As a child? As a teen? Are you who you were before major life changes or incidents?
Certain patterns and behaviors may repeat and be constants if your life (until you change or transcend them), but who you are at any moment is a changing and growing thing.
If you overcome your fear of jumping out of the airplane to skydive, are you the same person before that jump?
Are you the same person who abided by a certain mode of thinking that you now reject or no longer follow?
Who you were is dead. Who you are now will also die. Who you will be will also be dead at yet another point in the future.
The self will die, and after every death be reborn anew.
Like a phoneinx arising from the ashes of it’s previous form you will be born again and again and again. After you’ve died again and again and again.
Well here’s the thing. Once I looked at it the right way I understood and also finally both Soul traveled and astral projected this morning. I also believe Asmodeus was there in two forms: one of an older man with short white hair and super tidy clothes of a light brown color and the other form was a young man in swimming trunks… normally I would think the second one a bit weird but considering we were on the beach I guess it suited the scenario. But I’m not super sure yet, I will investigate it further and confirm the being or beings present. They helped a great deal so thank you and I will thank you properly once I know who it was for sure.