Hi everyone. I just wanted to chronicle some of my early experiences with this subject matter on this forum, and maybe get some opinions if any of you feel the need to do so. I figure that this is the best place since I still consider myself quite the novice.
So, I’ve started doing evocation with some of the recommended steps; evocation of Paralda to help awaken the astral senses, and the same with Mepsitahl. I’m going to go ahead and say up front that I have a particularly “logical” mind, I guess; the hardest part of this for me is clarifying the vision. I’m doing evocation and peppering throughout attempts at sharpening my magickal imagination. I can picture whatever I want to clearly in my head, but translating it to any spiritual “sight,” much less physical, is very challenging for me. If anyone has tips on what they did to become more successful at structuring and opening their vision, I’m all ears (or in this case, eyes). While I’m on the subject, theta-gamma sync is something I discovered I’ve always been able to get myself into, I’ve done it before I even knew it was a thing or there were terms for it. Rapture, not so much. I struggle to let myself fall completely into incantations or feelings, because I feel like I need to always maintain mundane control. So going to the steps PAST theta-gamma sync is hard for me, too. Again, tips are appreciated.
The other day, I came to the realization that I wanted the course of the events in my life to be altered. My financial and living situations have become stagnant, and it’s not satisfying. I flipped through pages of sigils and I suppose I was compelled to stop on Suhn’tal’ock. His passage in the BoA is intriguing. I laid out the circle that I’ve consecrated with my own blood, and used no other tools; I hadn’t planned on attempting any manifestation so the incense and censer stayed put. I sat in the circle; normally I face to the north because that’s the most comfortable due to the room I’m in; but before I began, I felt like facing west would be better suited. So I did that. Started incantations, called his name. Before I even began the ritual, there was some presence building in the room; once I had finished calling him, the presence felt firmly behind me, over my left shoulder to the southwest. I didn’t turn or change my position because I supposed that’s the alignment he wanted. I spoke to him my wishes and what I wanted out of partnership with him; the gist is that I asked him to surround me with his essence and his familiars, for protection and guidance, in establishing an “empire” in the physical world for myself; the justification of which is that I need to make sure I’m taken care of in the mundane, physical world so I can dedicate more time and energy to adepthood and ascent. Again, I’m not skilled yet at receiving the voice or the vision, I normally have what feel like implanted ideas from them, that I can translate loosely into words. It felt like I received “Are you sure what you’re asking of me is what you want?” or “Do you understand what you are asking of me?” My response, of course, was a confident “yes.” I finished the ritual and dismissed him, albeit asking him again to leave his essence and familiars with me to aid in what I’d asked.
After that, I did what I usually do to separate myself mentally and emotionally; I played some video games. Couldn’t shake any lingering thoughts, though. Since then, any time I think of Suhn’tal’ock or anything else magickal, or I watch E.A.'s videos on YouTube, look through a grimoire, etc. I get a chill down my spine. Like a split second of getting into theta-gamma sync and then popping back out. Since that ritual, I feel more powerful, like my perception of reality has shifted just slightly enough for me to notice it. Haven’t done any rituals since then, though; I find myself always wanting to evoke the same spirit over and over once I do the first one, but I convince myself that it would impede on whatever I’ve asked the spirit to do.
Anyway, that’s it; sorry for the long post any thoughts or assistance with any of the above are always welcome.