I dont know if you are reading this but id like to think so.( I came across your ytube vidoeo of a ritual… (about 2 years or so ago) and the name ‘ka kamali ka’ or something like that came through for me…) And after I tried connecting with you in my mind and what i got was this sense of nail being pierced in each my wrysts/hand.( I thought it might be because your weary of connecting to strangers or something lol. Or not lol) so I wondering what that might mean.
Anyways, my father was of a ‘kabaliyc background’ and since I was a kid is that of the supernatral that connected to me, I belive i have abilities in me dormant and also passed through bloodline… my quest of finding myself a suitable teacher i have not yet found and just explore and ‘remember’ things myself, and constantly made to feel like a loser and for some reason i feel nobody wants to take me under their circle and be open about everything especially the deeper aspects. It usually everyone saying kinda im a beginner and push me a way, but then how would i ever learn? I keep thinking to myself , if these are such great people they would see beyond my lackings and see that spirit has chose to connect to me since i was a child, plus it burns in me with so much curiosity and purpose. So recently i have been let down again when i asked to join a coven and was willing to do the year and a day thing. Some years ago i was nearly going to join a hermetic group in america but was let down too, there was alot going on in my life too at the time anyway, but my heart aced because of it. Awhile back in meditation (and i usually dont get this,so it was abit of a surprise) a voice in my ear say i should get the “the book of Hermes” which again i could not find a specific “book of hermes” and thought maybe finding out about my local “Hermetic order” to join. But i pushed it off incase they might reject me and i dont know enough. What is it that i can do that i can show other magicians that i am sincere and what steps can i take that they most likely take me on and not lose an oppertunity. To be honest i dont know what path it is i need to take. I just want to know everything and not be stuck to one or another type path. My suttle struggle is too, when i was 8ish i had a n.d.e. and the voice asked me if i “wanted to go to the good and live, or go to the bad and die”, and i screamed i wanted to live, and came to that minute. So as i always tried to be goodie two shoe religious to complete my destiny, yet long story short, got quite frustrated and angry with ‘yahweh’ for reasons…and started seeking the left hand path and see if there was any enlightenment there, but you can understand growing up that way and the clash of feelings that i might be doing something wrong, but yes i admit i have felt power and niceness from there too yet i fear to let go, if like family etc would think, and due to the nde experience, i dont want to be doing anything bad and ruining my “heaven” , yet i feel the ‘dark and light’ is intrigueing. Also some time back i was constantly finding black feathers in my path and when i attented a spirtual circle i found one by the entrance so i picked it up…one of the ladies clarvoints said i see you have a black feather, you have to find the white, although there is a dark angel looking over you (which i have felt!) you have to find the white (im guessing to be more postive i guess, too). I still feel his loving presance at times.
Oddly enough, now this is silly and by the by, but let me know what you think, but at a recent wiccan gathering I met this person dressed in black almost like a magician type look, he intrigued me not because of his facial apearance but because of these good vibes i got that he reminded me of the ‘dark angel’. Gosh, like there was some type of spirtual resonance but that of the dark :). Anyway, i did ask him if he’s heard of E.A. Koetting lol. Anyway, I really admire what you do and hope i can be as great or adept as you . -my life might turn for the better then!
Many blessings, respect to you.
Being here is your step, your “coven” or “order”.
We’re not an actual Coven but this place teaches and beginners can become much more all on their own with no rules.
You don’t need to be under someone to learn.
As for the Book of Hermes, it’s been a while, but I believe it’s similar to the Emerald Tablet.
Hermes is the Greek name for Thoth basically. They are different of course but this book is more about Alchemy then Greek philosophy.
Darkness isn’t evil or bad, it is what we are literally made of. It is a well of power while the light is the mist above it that disappates in the noon sun.
For me that feather is a clear sign from either Azazel or Morrigan, both good teachers.
I was trying to connect to Lucifer some time before for the first time I do recall.
So what could be the book of Hermes? The esoteric book shop seemed not to know (or didnt want to tell me ), is it The Emerald Tablet or something similiar?
Thank you so much for your enlighting answer
I heard of it before when researching the Emerald Tablet, I have not read it though.
I’m not surprised the shop didn’t know. At least around me, most physical book stores are New Age and don’t know anything about older stuff or the Occult, they only know of Crowley because of fame not because they studied his works, for example.
I’d look up Lucifer here and get his sigil. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s contacting you, he is very good with new Magicians and he is both Angel and Daemon so it might resonate with you.
I read The Idiots Guide to Alchemy by Dennis William Hauck
Don’t let the name fool you, it’s actually a decent beginning book on the subject.
You can also look up The Emerald Tablet on YouTube. The whole thing is there and it’s very interesting but it might be confusing at first lol.
What I’ve said to a few now is if you’re looking something occult up, hit this site first. It’s the best Occult Google I’ve found so far.
There is the emerald tablet of Hermes Trismegistus (the reincarnation of Thoth) which is about alchemy.
The emerald tablets of Thoth, are about mysteries of the Earth and its history. Thoth was, after all, the last king of Atlantis.
EDIT: Now that I thnk about it, it could be Thoth who wrote the other emerald tablet and not Hermes. I can’t really remember. I should check it out!
I will admit i kinda tried to make a pact with him cuz i wanted to see if it would help me win the courtcase, etc…
Also where can i find these (older) books if not at an esoteric bookshop?
The internet is the best place to start!
That’s not a bad idea, I think he can help with that but if not he’d probably send you to Belial who is excellent in court.
Nothing wrong with Pacts, it’s another thing you can look up here
When you look anything up here feel free to ask questions too!
Dont laugh but i love a good old fashion bookshop, see if anything stands out, or ‘calls me’, like a child in a candystore lol, rather than get it delivered to the door… but i guess your right. But when i did google the book of hermes before, it basically came up with the kabalion, which i did get and flick through…
The Kabalion is a good one to start with.
Is there any good posts on here that you can recommend on summoning? Ta
Type in Summoning up in the search feature on this site, that’s what I’d do. I don’t have any book marked atm.
Ok, thanks, I should of thought of that duh lol
No worries some are not used to a search feature on a forum and don’t realize it’s there.
Yeh, im not amazing with internet, but ive been searching just now and i couldnt find a post with descriptions on how, yet…
ps thanks for your time and patience for answering all my questions
I also like old bookstores but the specific scripts can be found only in the internet.