First entry: Lilith? Could that be here?
Pieces of last nights dream(i slept from ~3 to 10.30 am.)
In the beginning: strange scenes in a city, a mix of dresden, hastings and some medievil shit.
~For some reason were we crossdressing -an not even good, more like a cosplay -and the people just looked at us. ~The guy who invited us was an ashole, so the thing was shortlived.
Later, i came to help my Brother, to a building site at a square -gardener works but also an stuff with cement and tones had to be done. -it was the square infront of the church at the “Luisenstraße” in Dresden.
Then, all changed.
First, i thought it were, just a woman. -No, not even a woman, just a stupid girl who likes to mess with people.
We first met in real life, at her place -i was very upset, and even found her hidden flat, in a old and greenpainted building, made of sandstone and bricks. (somewtime between 1850 and 1930 builded)
Her flat was hiddien, disguised as a storageroom for the janitor.
Then, she showed me her amazing equibment:
Pretty much every one to who she felt interested -or just attacked -or she had the feeling that she needed to watch that person. ~That persons computers, smarthpones, tablets and flat was on screens. -i was not the first one. ----I came in contact with her, since she scammed me on the web, and i was up to kill some fat ass hacker…but she was cute -beautiful.
Black hair, and smaller than i am -and i’m 1,75m …she must be something at the end of 150 or somewhere in the 160’s. Her age was a mysterie, and i didn’T asked her one time.
She, then invited me into “thre truth” -she is a witch, a amazingly powerfull one.
The first thing she did for me, is that she created a clone of me, so that one would go to work, while i had time to study with her…
It was pretty fast known, that she was indeed narcissitic -sometimes, that she was sadistic -sometimes, that i’m maybe the only “servitor” she had.NO, i was no servitor:
she was in debt, that is what brought me to her… but i fell in love with her.
She turned hundreds of times, changed me so often so horrific -explicit: my head,
so that i was somethimes forced to take my consciosness out of it.
We were at beautil -giant gardens, at her place at some beach, and at her hidden place in some abadont school -where i met the servitors.
She knew that they are hating me: i was with her, jsut some months, and came her closer than they in decades or centuries. >They were like living shadows, human and with white skin and all…(not fangs but) their shape was the most of the time just 80-92% (or something) fullycondensed. -they failed, they became monsters…not magicians, no gods…monsters.
-They were even more upset, as i was kidding ~i mentioned an exorcism and to kill them (she was not against is, and felt in a minor way betrayad as i cleared it up, and sayd that it was a joke…in actuality: it wasn’t, but they were to powerfull -especially on the physical plane -and i thought to be born human…so.
Back to them: they attacked me -but i couldn’t die. -I was protected, or at least able to regenerate from the greatest damages (like…missing limbs, organs…a cutted off head)
but still felt pain and fear.
Anyway. As we met them, as she showed me them in irder to warn me, to make me look at what i could became, if i fail…and after they attacked me -somewhere in the time during…she changed. NO, she remembered things which supposed to stay dead and forgotten.
She turned mad… like a tsundere-god-lover
I saw things… she was ages ago, a mighty magician or a goddess -or a the more pronounced female part of an deity…her “housband” was a creature/god of the sea, and they destroyed and drowned so many -entire tribes and races.
Later, after that vision -during which i wasn’t attacked, but the other felt into awe…and saw the connection between me and her… (was i, the re-incarnated god? her male half which returned?)
LAter, we returned to her place at the beach…the people from the school hideout and other servitors also came. -We were attacked ~i had no weapon, not even a knife, and i was just there for her…presence, her being and all the knowledge i absorbed like a sponge.
She was…“not her self” as they came, and she decided to do the most stupid thing she could have done…(was she just too sad or lazy to fight them off? i coulnd’t die, but i that just since months…so i still feared death for no reason) She created, out of the bodies of ages human servitors (was this planned? did she know that we are going to be attacked?)
…she turned them into something she called %$&§$&§$ ?!§-“guardiens” (i don’t remember the full term. -> they were living corpses, filled with blindly raging entities.
-I read before, that they were intendet to be a “final solution”, that they were used to make the retreat a bit easier. -But the problem was: i weren’t on retreat, we were waiting, to we were not able to dodge those raging undead, who killed the intruders and some servitors. -well, not the shadows i mentioned earlier.
I don’t know how it went on…i woked up after i saw her, guiding some guards in modern armor, to a hidden storage for food or ritual material to rest. She even offered some blankets an pillows, but they were saying something like, that their suits were allready enough.
In that time during that short lived konversation, she seemed to me like a mother, protecting her “children”. -for some reason was at the hidden place before they opened it…i was waiting for her.
I’m worried: what if my “hideout” is this reality? This plane and dimension?..
Was she Lilith? Who was she…she was looking like a mix of italian and nordic gens, but was pale in a “just right” bleached vanilla tone. Black hair, like a lion-mane -just sliiiightly curled
She i was beautiful. And idon’t wanna forget her, but dreams/times on the astral plane tend to go forgotten.
I love this abusive, but somehow still adorable, vulnerable, amiable and dignified woman.
And with her, did i feel whole -no urges to change shape, gender abilities and charakter… i was whole with her. And as she completed me for the time during all of those months, which feel now like rushed trough, she seemed to feel ashamed -she seem to recognize something/-one in me, and she felt ashamed for how terrible she is doing. (Who am i? Who were i?)
I miss her allready, and i blame myself, because so many things are going on…i may forget the time we had.