This should have been written last Saturday, but it didn’t cross my mind then, but I thought to write this dream down now, considering that it’s ending still scares me.
A little bit of background information before we begin, and I’m hoping most of you read till the end. Dominick Ray Lyons. The name of the very nemesis that I hope to never encounter ever in my lifetime or even in hell. The very ill demeanor I wished no one would have to endure, but he was indeed a psycho. For three years, I had fallen into his tricks, believing that I was ever with someone I thought I loved, when in reality, he was behind it all. His disgusting manner in daring to harass me every chance he got online and even physical. His pointless lies that bled through the deepest cracks in stone, endless pleads and torment just to force me to stay. But there was no way I’d forgive or ever love him after that. I never did in the first place.
This dream started like any other dream, it never makes sense and is often forgotten until a certain point. I stood in an area of stalls and vendors selling fresh sea food, snacks, drinks, tea. All around me were small fishing houses, run down and old, on a mountain by the sea. Then a boy appeared. I was currently 18, he 19(although I’m 16 in real time). Japanese, tan skin, round eyes, dyed hair that was blonde, and round eyes.
“Are you lost, miss?” He asked. And I said yes. He stood a few feet away from a tour bus and offered to let me stay with his band at their tour house for the time being. The house resided on a tall hill that had a perfect view of the oceans horizon ahead. I called him Rei. Rei was very funny and kind. Every aspect of this dream felt so real.
They say when you don’t have something you want, you simply crave it more. Love. Something I was deprived of and feared growing up. Growing up in a household of neglect and certain expectations made it hard to find the right kind I desired, and wanting to have someone to love as well made it difficult after being betrayed by so many, and feeling like you’ll never be good enough. But someone always told me that trusting yourself and making the right decision will always make you the better person.
Well, I stayed with Reiji and the boys for a while. They were very accepting and kind. I started to like Reiji, and my dream began to fragment itself during this part, but it was a collage of trust forming between the two of us, fighting together, laughing together, crying together, and supporting each other. So he asked me to be with him, and feeling that it was right, I accepted. His embrace was warm and safe, his touch, kisses, the way he held me. (But it must be too good to be true)
I was grocery shopping and a pack of plump, red strawberries caught my eye. I love strawberries. However, once I touched the box, I locked eyes with another girl, and my vision dimmed. I spectated a vision where she was lost in an old mansion, all dusty and dark. Searching and searching, finding scattered notes all around, until a tall shadowy creature caused her to flee in shock. But once she found it again, she didn’t run, scream, or hide. She embraced the lonely creature and at that moment, he chose to return her back home.
The woman had long brown hair, much like mine, but thicker and wavy. Her green eyes were full of dismay. “It’s not all it seems,” she told me. I rushed back to the tour house and found Rei standing on the balcony. “You’re not the person I’m looking for are you? You’re pretending to be Reiji and got your mates to agree didn’t you. DIDN’T YOU.”
He couldn’t answer. Rei got onto his knees and bowed for forgiveness. At that moment, my body acted on its own, and I ran. Crying. Don’t know where, don’t know how far. Until I realized I was back where I started. Lost. I dragged my feet down the mountain path, regretting what I gave to him, my dreams, my trust, love. But who was I fooling?
Over some time, I realized, I didn’t care. I loved him and I needed to go find him. I ran around asking every vendor, every villager. An old women was dumping cans and tissues into the ocean. I rushed to her and told her to stop because it would pollute the water. She smirked and told me she would give information if I would collect them for her. The cold waves knock me back and forth, it’s cold touch numbed my skin. The women spoke quickly, and told me to find Reiji before dawn, and find the man sitting by the rows of buses.
Each person I turned to had seen Reiji but none knew where he went. The dark skinned man apologized sincerely and said Reiji had already taken off. Defeated and sad, I sat down on stone steps and looked out at the night sea. Other women sat by me, and were silently watching the waves. I bit a piece of cold strawberry I brought with me and gave one to a women on the other side of me. Then it snapped. I got up and ran back up towards the hill.
Before dawn, I saw him, sitting on our hill, crying. And there I was. Reiji held his arms out just in time for me to jump right in.
Time skipped, and we seemed to be in our early twenties. I was sitting beside him in the car and we got out in fancy attire, hands intertwined, and walked into our reservation where the waitress was already waiting. Yet at that moment. I turned to him.
My smile faded. “Did Dominick send you?” I asked. And then I woke up.
It was like something that was truly too good to be true, a fear that it would be set up once more, fake. Or fearing that I’d be betrayed. Maybe my subconscious was telling me that I was still having the mentality of feeling that the other person would be too good for me, if I were to find them.
But I know it’ll blow over eventually; the negative self doubt. All due in time.