So, I finally (have begun to) admit that the lovemagic that I have been throwing at my ex will not return our relationship to how it was.
Looking back honestly, the amount of energy that I have put into it is ridiculous. For every incredibly small ‘success’ there was an overwhelmingly bigger failure. I became obsessed with getting her to yield. A very unhealthy emotion which increasingly turned my love for her into hate (and I HATE that)
One of the problems is that she knows of my interest in the occult, making her extremely suspicious of me. The effect of every working was more or less the same: She’d contact me, or reacted joyfully when I contacted her. We would meet and smile. Everything seemed smooth, and than she’d get this look as if she had just remembered that she hates me or wants to punish me or whatever, and the joy immediately turned to anger. She would start arguments over absolutely nothing with no relation to the situation, and no matter how I would behave in the argument (agree/disagree) : She stormed away furiously every time.
She is a very fiery personality, which I really like, unfortunately with an extremely unstable character. I still feel love for her and believe that I always will. At the moment we are friends and I am thankful for that.
For those interested in how I came to fail:
I did candlemagic
I have worked with Anael & Jazar and Pagiel using the spells from NAP
I did a working with Abalidoth
I worked with duke Sallos
I used the Myrrhe spell from PGM
I experimented with the incantation for sex by @Micah
The candlemagic seemed to soften her up at first.
The spells from NAP gave the most stable result.
The working with Abalidoth made her come to me, but unfortunately in passionate hate.
The work with Sallos produced the quickest results.
The Myrrhe spell worked quickly but not lasting.
The incantation by Micah delivered a promising result the first time.