Do You See What I See: Tarot Spread Interpretation Help

Good morning everybody,

In a moment of weakness I’m still pulling myself out of, I did a reading asking “will my ex and I reunite? What would that look like?” as I have been profoundly lonely and the only single person I know. A small part of me still has feelings for him, but when I’m not in a dark place those feelings don’t affect me much, it’s more the general loneliness that prompted me to pull.

Anyway!

The core 3-cards I pulled for the question were The Hanged Man, Knight of Cups rx, and Ten of Wands. All three of those cards were then given more context/clarification by pulling 3 cards per card. It’s a system that has given me some surprisingly good insight in the past so I’m sticking with it!

The Hanged Man clarified by 9 of Wands, 4 of Swords rx, 9 of Swords

I felt like I lost a lot when the relationship ended, though I learned and have done a lot to be okay by myself. Though the work has been hard, it’s nearly complete (HM & 9oW). However, I need to take a moment to rest and truly reflect on my love life and think about what I want - all the fears I have about dying alone are all just that: fears (4oS rx & 9oS). It seems unwise to act on those fears. This set of cards tells me to think: is a reunion with this guy really worth indulging in in a moment of weakness? Personally, I think I’ve indulged more than enough by entertaining the possibility I’d even want that.

Knight of Cups rx clarified by Justice rx, Tower rx, and 3 of Wands

I have a few different interpretations of the KoC with the clarifier cards (arranged in what I think is most to least likely)…

  1. I still have a lot of feelings towards this guy that I haven’t taken the time to sit down with and work through because to work through them would mean that I am ready to leave the period of my life with him in it behind, which scares me because then that (comparatively more comfortable) period of my life is over. However, letting go may be the key to moving forward. Or…

  2. (For context for this read: I know something about my ex that nobody else does, and if I got this secret into the right people’s hands, his life would be completely different and probably considerably worse than what it currently is) My ex might be going THROUGH it. Through keeping his secret a secret, he’s successfully avoided some life-altering consequences of his actions and he is successfully moving on with his life, though his fear of his secret getting out may be messing with him a lot. Or…

  3. (The one that the sad, desperate side of me hopes is true) He might be feeling a lotta different ways regarding us: throughout our relationship he was relentlessly critical and image/status-obsessed where I am very much not that. By splitting with me, though he knows how he did it was rather cruel, he needed to do it to move forward, but may feel bad for it (more context, we each told each other when we were together that we were the best partner the other has had) and, dare I hope, remorseful? He might miss me, but he’s looking ahead and moving on.

10 of Wands clarified by King of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles rx, 4 of Cups

This is where I REALLY struggle. I think this means that if we were to rekindle a romance, it would be possible, but it would require a shit ton of work on both of our ends to the point it might be trying to “force a square peg into the wrong hole.” Where to get back together may grant me a sense of security and stability, I should probably keep to myself - by being so, so focused on this guy, I’m absolutely going to miss opportunities for relationships that don’t require SO much struggle and compromise from both ends.

Overall I think my deck’s telling me “just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD,” which isn’t necessarily what I wanted to hear right now, but likely something I needed to hear.

Regardless, I’m still a filthy casual and may not be reading this correctly at all, so any feedback is much appreciated!

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I would be especially wary about the 4 of cups situation. You will have to put up with a shit ton of work and added pressure when your person finds himself bored soon again (maybe a push-pull dynamic?). He seems to have his brilliant moments but something here seems to be so deep rooted in a wrong way that you will find yourself putting all the work into the relationship, while he simply fades out when he feels like it or if it isn’t satisfactory enough for him.

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Yep, that sounds like him. He’s a chronic “grass is greener” type of guy, which may have been more appealing when I was younger, but to quote Roger Murtaugh, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

From what I remember from our time together and what kind of vibe I got is that he’s got some DEEP-rooted issues that would absolutely affect how he conducts himself and perceives relationships. And I’ll be honest, I’d be happy to work with him on this but that’s where I’d step into that trap of putting in all the work while he comes and goes as he pleases. I’ve had that done to me in a previous relationship, and I know that’s definitely not what I want. It’d work if HE put in the work, but I don’t think he thinks he has any problems.

And that’s a dealbreaker.

Thank you for your insight! I wasn’t expecting a response so fast :blush:

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I speak from honest experience with such a person here: don’t do it if you can help it. Thats what therapists are for. You’re a partner and you should be treated as such.

I know that its a motivating thought to “work together with them” on something like that but he will either stay as he is because you’re making it comfy for him (I have been such a person for a long time and I am currently dealing with the side effects. This is no fun, it sucks the joy out of the relationship) or he will seek out therapy to dissolve and re-program his behaviour. You will never be able to help him through his development without professional counsel on his part.

And thats the point: it is okay for him to live like that. He has people like you, after all, who are willing to invest their everything into him. Without him having to give something of substance back.

You are currently out of this trap and to be bold: for the better of your entire future. Invest your energy into someone who not only enjoys but appreciates your nurturing side and who is able to give it back. Who doesn’t let you jump through hoops with the invisible threat of him walking to a “greener” grass, otherwise. :green_heart:

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The willing to work part is only there if he ALSO was both willing and actually doing the work. I know I’m better off looking forward beyond this person. Closing chapters is always a bit scary, but they close regardless, so there isn’t anything for me to fear or lose by moving on with my life.

I AM the greener grass, to be frank.

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Don’t you ever forget that :point_up:

Maybe - if you feel like you could need a little push with that- a cord cutting ritual will aid you in your quest forwards. It surely worked for me when I was mourning a lost friendship over the “healthy” amount of time :sweat_smile:

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Y’know, nothing but good has ultimately come from cord-cutting rituals for me so thank you for reminding me that’s an option :heart:

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