I don’t think most people have this problem, and just go ask whoever they want for stuff like out of the blue, but I have this difficultly in asking people and demons for favors, especially if I know they are likely to ignore me or say no.
I don’t really know what to do about it, but it is holding back my practice and my life. Even if someone is a close friend, its hard to make that friendship closer, or turn an acquaintance into a friend. I think I push people away, and I don’t know why. I do have some ideas about why now, but I really don’t know how to fix this.
I totally have this problem, which is ironic in a way, since I’m frequently offering to help others, mainly on here or at work, since I’m not terribly social. I’ve had to make an effort to let other people help. Why? Because it helps them feel better and I need to give them a way to “pay” for my help to them.
I don’t help someone with the expectation of being paid back, since I’m also gaining by getting magical practice in. But they need to feel like they’ve paid me back or it can dig into their self esteem, especially if they’re at a low point.
So, I’ll hit them up for a tarot reading or something like that, if that’s their thing. Or hit them up for their opinion on something I don’t know as much about. Something to help them feel like they don’t owe me (because they really don’t in my eyes).
I’m with you. I can’t ask people (human people) for favours.
With entities I see it as something they’re waiting and wanting to do, “fair exchange is no robbery”, and they need the interaction and gratitude as much as I need the help. I’d pay for a consult but not ask anyone for free workings.
I don’t have a problem asking colleagues to do their jobs for the same reason.
But people who don’t have any reason other than friendship to do anything? Can’t do it. It crates a bond that makes me very uncomfortable.
I used to not ask for help until I was already drowning. The military definitely taught me how to delegate my workload effectively. It’s easy for me in a professional capacity now. But, personally I still struggle so I’m now adding it to my list of self improvements.
This may be the struggle a lot of us here have with dating and finding sexual relationships, though I don’t want to derail this post in that direction.
I understand where you’re coming reaching outside yourself. I used to feel the same way…maybe even subconsciously I considered it a weakness. I’ve changed over the years though.
To the OP I can’t speak for the others but when I finally reached out to my first Goetic Spirit for a favor I was flat out desperate. I felt like was drowning. The spirit reached out and met me half way, it was a game changer and it created a bond which has lasted two decades.
With people I remember that no one is an island unto themselves. If I feel like I need help I just ask for it. Now not everyone can or will help but that’s just the way the ball bounces. I don’t take it personally. Likewise if I see someone struggling with something I offer to help. Note offer…not everyone wants my help and that’s okay too.
I’ve found the demons are quite accommodating. They’re used to people being reluctant to reach out to them. If I could go back 20 years in time and tell myself something it would be that there are always allies and spirits in your life willing to help you in almost any endeavor you face.
As my third teacher said "were stronger together…"
I think its what we personally acknowledge - that we need help; and what we personally allow within our walls and boundaries - asking for help and allowing the aid to come in. Bec yes some of those who help may expect something in return (neither good nor bad too, its just the natural dynamics of some relationships - humans or spirits).
Its a self limitation / blockage we may have subconsciously put on ourselves and others that may have deep roots from childhood experiences, traumas, etc. (I.e "when i was little, i needed help, so and so couldve but didnt, i asked for help once, didnt get any, learned to fend for myself). In the tarot, id say its represented by 8 of swords - self imposed restrictions, self imprisonment, limiting beliefs, all in the head even if there is actually a way forward and out.
One thing ive personally learned through time - acknowledging that im drowning and that I need help is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help takes courage and for me, a sign of strength. Bec in doing so im saying im not leaving this at this, im going to do something to change things, im going to make this better, whatever it takes, even if it means asking anyone, someone to help.
