Diary of stable, responsible and wholesome lifestyle choices


#81

Postscript:


The sigils I’ve got so far. I already have a rough plan in my head about how they’ll go together (behold the glorious german Lebkuchen in the background). Please bear with me for my doodling skills are more than
upgradeable. (As long as I know what I wanted to scribble it’s fine)


#82

You do know daylight savings ended two days ago don’t you. I don’t know where you live, but here we always gain an hour and computer clocks know to switch.


#83

Thank you for your input :slight_smile: Where I live, daylight savings ended on october 28th already.


#84

Today the most goodest boy was laid to rest. Run free, my little ass hat. I love you and see you later.


#85

Totally drained. Didn’t plan to contact Leraje today because of reasons but I did anyway because of reasons. Grief and meditation is an awkward mixture (it’s hard to focus on banishing when you’re ugly crying).

P.S.:


#86

Just walked into the kitchen. I could hear a hoarse rhythmical growling and I asked my S.O. what he is practising (he is a metal vocalist so I didn’t gave it too much thought.). He gave me a funny look and told me that he didn’t said/sang anything.

Maybe I should take a nap or something.

Edit: aaaaaand now a neon blue light orb just flew around in the kitchen. And OF COURSE I was the only one who could see it. My day wasn’t THAT long. I’ll call it a day, snatch me a beer and that’s it.


#87

Update on how things are going: my team leader will talk to our CEO about my career options (i.e. if I can take over said vacant position). My S.O. will have a new job interview at a company which would cover his financial deficit when he goes back to university next year. Let’s see how everything turns out (got plan b,c and d ready if anything fails).
Thank you , Leraje. Like, really.


#88

Stepping up my dream game atm.
I can do this weird thing with my voice while dreaming: whenever a dream gets too “real” for me and I can’t wake myself up I can “dissolve” the material my dream is made of via using my voice inside my dream. I don’t know, how to describe it. I don’t scream (not anymore), but I can built up my voice into some kind of “layers”. It gets louder and louder and as soon as it leaves my mouth my dream surroundings are vanishing and transforming into something more calming.
Last night I used my voice to repel an attack without dissolving the whole dream. They just couldn’t continue anymore and I kept them at an arms length. I want to gain more control over my nocturnal journeys.


#89

Todays evocation left me with a warm and cozy feeling and maybe with a small amount of tipsiness (gotta test your home made wodka before offering it to someone the next time, right?).

During hitting a deeper trance state I could see a glowing green ball floating in the middle of the darkness behind my closed eyelids. I heard a voice saying “There you are, at last!” and I started a one sided conversation in my head. Suddenly the taste of pure ice (maybe some of you guys licked on an icicle when you were younger, exactly this taste) was in my mouth, slowly melting away to nothing again. I asked Leraje to give me the capability of backing myself up tomorrow (tomorrow will suck sweaty balls because of some reasons) and a voice answered: “I consent.”

And here I am now, having a taste of some wodka I will give away as an offering the next time. Quality monitoring and such.


#90

Hahahaha, everything just blew the fuck up :smiley: I was so close reaching my goal and yet again: nope. Today I received my feedback regarding my new job position. The CEO himself delivered the news to me: the position has been rationalised due to reduction of costs (which is kinda weird because I know the facts and numbers because I had a big part in creating them). I was like “Ok.” And then I told him that I had to leave the company entirely for the sake of moving on (I didn’t say “Then perish”, but…), then. He was really surprised and told me that he would feel free to contact me whenever said position might be back in the game again.
Some of my colleagues actually cried when I gave them the news about leaving entirely soon. I feel incredibly flattered and I will miss my team terribly.
So, on to conquer new frontiers.
Even if I failed to make my will actually come true in the last moment (again) it was an amazing experience. I made a whole lot of new contacs (hope, they’ll serve me well now) to people I would’ve never dared to even talk to. I don’t know where this road will lead me but I feel way more confident and capable about myself and I can take a better stand for myself regarding a new job with new perspectives and a higher income.


#91

Today it hit me that I will never see my ass hat dog (the goodest boi nonetheless) ever again. Went grocery shopping and fetched some dog food out of habit. At the register I realized my mistake and it took all of my willpower not to ugly cry while checking out.
I ugly cried when I looked at his empty kennel, tho.


#92

:smirk: :smirk:


#93


#94

Papa Emeritus dancing flamboyantly through the apocalypse is my spirit animal


#95

todays evocation with Marquis Leraje was rather short (I have visitors over here and had to put my altar into my bedroom) . I asked him if I should imagine myself with a fancy bow and arrow everytime I needed to focus on my goals. Lately, I felt an urge to “grasp” something whenever I thought about future goals and had an phantom-ish feeling in my hands and arms, like drawing a bow and arrow. He briefly confirmed this, I could use this feeling to establish a “go-to” connection to him during times I had no sigil at my hands (like at work, etc.).


#96

This is such a good post, you dare to tell your experience and the rest of the forum listen and dont judge you for anything, its beautyfull :innocent:


#97

The thing here is…I would always say “Damn it, I’d love to be able to just walk alway entirely from all this BS.”, like, fuck this shit, I’m out.
And now, due to more or less unlucky circumstances I totally can. I am able to create a whole new reality for myself from scratch, to my own terms and conditions, so to speak. For the first time ever. Whoa.


#98

“It’s about love”, Leraje said to me right now, without any context (didn’t even asked him anything). So, if anyone out there asked him recently what it’s all about: there you go.


#99

Aaaaaah, I just HAVE to brag about this incredible piece of art that has been sent to me


It’s so so so so pretty!


#100

I noticed something that might be worth to be wrote down here. There are so many candles glowing in the dark; they multiply, but they have no substance beneath, no wax, only flames. Whenever I call on Marquis Leraje, candle flames appear in the darkness behind my lids before I hit a deeper trance stage.
Today I could hear water trickling around me. I asked him to tell me something about war.
P.S.: in last nights dream I went full exorcist and expelled two entities out of two possessed people I came across with my voice alone. That was cool.