Diary of stable, responsible and wholesome lifestyle choices


#61

I suspect that at some point you are going to be shown how they go together. I’ve received sigils in this manner as well.


#62

I really hope that something shows me how they fit together. I always failed those kind of brain puzzles and who knows what will be called forth when I put it together the wrong way. Instead of glory and power I’ll get the eternal suffering of a sock that slides off slowly inside my shoe while I’m wearing it, for the rest of my life. I don’t want that.


#63

Today a superior of mine told me that I should talk to him if I would plan to switch my current position into something else for relocating reasons (I told him casually that it would be possible that I’ll have to move next year because of my S.O.'s wish to hit university again). He even offered my S.O. a job if he needed the extra money. I noticed that some key figures for my career plans have my name in their heads already regarding my ambition.

During todays evocation I asked Leraje what I should do the next five or so steps. He replied very quickly and clearly: “Grow wildly around everything.”
I’ll paraphrase it into “Keep more tabs open”; which I’ll do.


#64

I just received the tiniest and cutest money magik. Duke/Duchess Bune showed up in my last dream (Bune was a woman here) and I jokingly asked for better lucky numbers for my big lottery win.
Since I left my bed I found single coins randomly scattered around (under my bed, in my coat, beneath my note book, inside my shoe, on the stairs at the entrance, inside my office drawer, during grocery shopping, etc.) and right now I’m at 3,72€ :smiley:


#65

Me:

Oh yes…! :smirk:

rubs hands together

Exactly…!!! :popcorn:

Yeap! :smirk:

:thinking:
…Oh well…! Could work! :wink:


#66

Yeah, maybe this thing wanted to eat me because I’m such a snack. No killing intentions whatsoever. Could’ve invited me to dinner first, tho.


#67

So today this happened: I was meditating myself into a comfortable trance and when I looked at the sigil it looked all wiggly and flimsy and then I fell asleep (I didn’t pass out completely, I just felt heavily tired all of a sudden and couldn’t resist). My S.O. found me snoring on the ground beside my altar, peacefully. Whoops.


#68

Hmmm, I wonder what would have happened if you had pushed through that. That’s a hint in case you missed it.


#69

Maybe it’s for the best she didn’t, last time something similar happened to me I was brought back an hour later with what I can describe as an electric current passing my body from head to toes. Took me around an hour to pull myself together :unamused:

I didn’t snored though :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:


#70

You’re a hairs width away from the crossroads when you get to this point.

I’ll bet you were sawing logs like a lumberjack.


#71

Well, more like I was pulled to the astral but I can’t say more lol
Me and crossroads we’re best friends :joy:

I wasn’t! :expressionless: I blacked out right there in a meditative position and that’s how I was brought back, I wasn’t hugging my altar! :joy:


#72

I don’t know, but maybe it’s better this way; if I’m too weak to resist a wave of slumber I should not dick around behind the veil, yet :smiley: So practice it is…

No electric currents here, but I felt how my heart wanted to start a riot - it was beating at its normal pace but way more intense and I had to put a little effort into making it work smoothly again.

Another remarkable thing that happened: when the sleepwave hit me I could smell the scent of freshly peeled oranges - that scent got through and through and I wondered why someone would peel oranges calmly in front of my sprawled out body :slight_smile:


#73

I have to make a confession.
I’m a liar.

For some reason a group of my S.O.'s friends jumped to the conclusion that I majored as a teacher.
My S.O. found it hilarious and cultivated their delusion even more. So everytime someone of them asks me how the kids are doing I switch right into my double persona.
Fun fact: I don’t even have a high school diploma.


#74

Todays evocation brought a strong sensation between tingling and light pressure beneath my forehead again. I tried to “shove” that energy lower into other parts of my body. I could bring it as far as my elbows were, then it returned right back benath my forehead.


#75

Todays morning began with grumpy me who discovered that her phone clock has been switched to over one hour behind the actual time, so I overslept and had to cancel my plans for a workshop I wanted to attend.
While driving my car to a wooden area for a hike I noticed my car making weird noises. I turned around because I wanted to investigate what’s wrong and during my drive back home a loud crunching noise could be heard followed by my wheel jerking; I had to steer it very carefully beacuse my car would break out to each side everytime I wanted to steer the wheel normally.
When I noticed that one tire stopped completey I parked my car and called for a recovery service. When we arrived to the next service station (closed on a sunday, of course) the recovery guy wiggled said tire - it was almost completely loose and he suspected a heavy wheel bearing damage. I had the most of luck that I overslept because of my alarm clock going wrong; i I had been on my way to the workshop I would have hit the highway with a lot more speed and other car drivers around. Shoutout to whatever kept me alseep.


#76

I recall someone else on the forum mentioning Belials sigil made them sleepy since yesterday. Maybe it was him.


#77

I never worked with Belial and never draw his sigil anywhere. I have a pendant of his sigil which was sent to me instead the one I actually ordered, although I never wear it. But who- or whatever turned my phone clock to another time setting has spared me a huge insurance war, a crashed car and/or even harm onto me or others around me :smiley: I’ll try a meditation session later this day, maybe I can find out who my benevolent patron was.


#78

Leraje didn’t want to spill the beans about who or what saved me today from an untimely demise on the highway. I don’t know if goetian demons can feel uncomfortable but I could definitely feel some held back knowledge about something here.

Since I didn’t wanted to pressure things I focused on something else, instead. I wrote a letter to Leraje asking him for his advise to strengthen my self discipline and my will for the things to come.
I asked him to make me an archer, too (spiritually, so to speak. Striking all them bitches with only one shot, before they even know, what hit them).
Before I bid my farewell a voice said “The desert.” right into my ear. Lerajes sigil flashed behind my closed eyelids and two new sigils followed. The triangle seems to be a vital part in every sigil I received lately.

Unrelated note: for some reason I had the melody of “Freezing Moon” during the whole evocation session in my head. A lot of years ago this very song sparked my love for Black Metal and everytime I hear it, it makes me all nostalgic and energetic at the same time:


(I love Attila Csihar’s interpretation too, but my heart belongs to its original singer)

#79

Okay, you guys. I just had the weirdest dream about Leraje. We were hanging around in my kitchen, mixing up some heavy drinks. I asked him if he doesn’t punch way above his league when he began mixing up my S.O.s 20y.o. rum and a whole bottle of absinth. “Rubbish!”, he answered, “It has to bitchslap your face the next ten years or so after one sip!”
I don’t know, either.


#80

Everything is a little bit overwhelming, lately. I, the laziest person ever and the notorious underachiever, must be able to not only hold my own head above water but my S.O.s head as well (which is perfectly fine, I can expect the same from him).
When I decided to swim with the sharks in order to reach my goal I knew that it would wear me out in more than one way. My physical energy level is fine, tho and my wits are agile and reliable, more than ever.
But deep down I’m still doubting my own capabilities ( I was raised to believe in my own weakness rather than exploring the opportunities I had). And sometimes doubt doesn’t mix with future plans. So I’m still torn between what could be (glory, satisfaction, steadiness) and what could be (failure, supercalifragilisticexistentialcrisis, living eternally on the attic floor - each and every summer again). Like, daily. I need to nurture a realistic point of view without all those stupid subtitles (“catastrophe”,“disaster”,nuclear shark attack")
So with my head full of each and every disaster that might lurk I started my evocation. I wasn’t able to concentrate properly and I formally apologised to Leraje for not being the usual ray of sunshine I never am.
I told him that I feel really down and out. Before I could continue to call it quits today a voice could be heard:“Yes, I am painfully aware about that.” It didn’t sounded harsh or chidingly, more like an invitation to continue. Since I didn’t want to waste the time of a goetian warlord I with my whiny bitching I fished out my sigil scribblings and asked for his assistance to bring them into the right order. Together we finished nine sigils (I’ll give it a try tomorrow how it will look as one sigil) and I said my good byes. I asked, if I could make contact between our daily schedules and he answered:“Of course.”
Noooo, I am not totally nuts to entrust my inner weakness to a Marquis of hell. Nope.
676545567