Diary of stable, responsible and wholesome lifestyle choices


I just want to take a moment to thank Marquis Leraje for just everything (for, like the 100th time?).
You did far more for me than I even realized (because I am obviously stupid). You prevented something really ugly and now a lot you’ve said and done makes even more sense.
I have no fucking clue how I could ever repay your service (except for the fee we discussed and agreed to the other day but now it seems like way too little) but I promise to get better, somehow. I will try to ask the right questions from the start now.


A healthy relationship to ones parents is determined by their willingness to send you one of your coffins to your current home without any questions being raised.


You can’t let go, you cultivate disease
And that’s okay, 'cause I’m sick just like you




I just gave away a new stone as an offering and “thank you” gift to Marquis Leraje.
I’ll take the candle flame running riot in response as “seen”.
Thank you,man. Like, really.


I know, I know.
But don’t give me that weird look, okay?
Someone has to practice, somehow.


Dream log:
last night I was able to transform a black and muddy pulp into clear and fresh water.


Yesterday I could hear light scratches on my altar, like fingernails going over the wooden surface.
When I took a look to investigate further there was a very pleasant smell all of a sudden, like fresh and clean clothes mixed with mint and a hint of a powdery note.


Todays mood


Dear diary, today I saw a man tuning a potato.
Thats it.


Last night I slept very little. It seems that some energy from my session with King Zagan decided to make itself comfortable in my system. I didn’t felt bad, though. I could marvel at the sunrise, and what a beautiful one it was.
I feel really good for some reason.




After todays training session I had the gnawing urge to consume all the strawberries in the world.
But one bowl did the trick, til now.
The after - cravings of energy work are surprising me each and every time.


Dear you,
thank you for the flowers,today.
It really made my day.


The Silver Chain Has Broken
Goals and Dreams Fufill
With Emptiness and Instinct
With Impurity and Will


I hosted a little soiree with Marquis Leraje and Duchess Bune (Bune always appears as a woman to me when she is visiting, so please don’t take offense if its something different for you :slight_smile: ). I wanted to appreciate her visits with that and give a signal that she is a welcomed guest in my house.
It was a pretty little evening.
My dream log showed me this:
It was early morning and I found myself in the middle of the city I’m currently residing at.
I decided to take the train into different areas and searched for a ticket machine (yes, I pay the fucking ticket machine even in my dreams). I found one, a really really old model and I wondered why on earth this dinosaur would be placed between all the current mordern machines.
I tried to buy a ticket and paid four bucks (I guess) but no ticket would plop out. Instead not only my money, but all the machines money and a huge amount of extra cash would fall out from the machine as clinking silvery coins. It wouldn’t stop so I just placed my backpack underneath the ticket machine to collect them all. I never got my ticket but I went shopping after that.
Thank you, Duchess Bune. Talking about starting the day with a smile.


Au dessus des capitales,
Des idées fatales
Regardent l’océan.


I dreamt about being visited by Baal in my office. He transformed itself into a huge red spider, “hiding” under my desk in order to be not seen by my coworkers.Because a huge red spider is the epitome of discretion.


And these last days I’ve let so much of me away;
But you will always be a mystery to me.
I know that nothing touches you;
Nothing has or ever will.
Like that moon you’re high and far away


Yesterday I decided to “map” out the insights and answers and questions I received so far on this road.
Maybe I will be able to receive a new kind of “epiphany” when I straight out visualise what happened and what has been done so far.
I don’t like loose ends.