I just finished my meditation. I saw how something collided with the moon and the noise from the impact was so loud that I actually jolted back to reality
Into that darkness
Into that darkness
As if seeking there
Hope’s bloody prey
The dead dog sinking
Turning and turning
Some corny introspection time, aye?
Looking back its really grotesque how often people used me for their own little vanity games, my work for their own benefits and selling it to me as some kind of weird “reward”. Like I should be thankful.
Even more grotesque is how many people still think that they use me for something right now, as I write this.
What an absurd idea.
I don’t know if its a “success” but for the sake of humor I’ll put it in here, anyway.
Our “health commissioner” (or rather “health inquisition”) once told one of my newer coworkers to “simply pull herself together” because she struggled with severe depression and had problems with keeping up with the workload.
Said health commissioner just called in sick because she got a botched (and very painful) lip injection.
Can’t wait to see that work of art
The best fable is sleeping
but it ends.
I walk away from everything
knowing less and less
my hands a place for my throat
my feet moving forward
like mindless animal parts
Charles Bukowski, Life Coach and Stand Up Comedian
When you need to meditate today but your mood after work is more like this:
I just had my first meditation “high”, a funny little feeling.
Gonna look at memes for the rest of the evening.
I visited a house of an unknown person. I could smell something scorching. I inspected a room (where the smell had been the strongest) and could see how some heating pipes burned their way through the wall; parts of the wall already started smoldering. Since I couldn’t find the owner of the house, I left that person a note to better take care of that fucked up heating system.
So, if you have noticed something weird about your heating pipes in your house: you better do something
Today I had the feeling that everything unnerving/stressing would just go through me like I was thin air to it.
Was my day as bad as yesterday? Yes.
Do I wanted to hang myself several times today? Ab-so-fuck-ing-lutely.
Has it got to me in any way after I closed the door?
“Only one fruit per employee!” I yell at Carol while I tackle her into the next garbage can.
Some call it “territorial”, I call it “fair”.
Yesterday we did some vocal recording work and something interesting happened.
My S.O. was on the microphone,doing his thing. I did some work with laptop and interface (nothing spectacular).
At the very end of one take I could clearly hear someone whistling (in the very same room, out of the exact directing my S.O. stood). It was a short and sharp tune,like someone would whistle for his dog or to gain someones attention.
I didn’t gave it much thought, since I was somewhat sure that it happened after my S.O. did also growling vocals and it could have been residue air from out of his trachea or something.
My S.O. heard it,too. He asked me why I would whistle mid-take. For him the sound came from my direction. We were all alone at this time
If I’m lucky enough I have the whole thing recorded.
The real direction it came from was within your Brain. A Spirit was pinging both your brain at the same time?
We’ll see if its an audible brain ping when the audio gets reviewed today. I am really curious.
Shostakovich, anyone? No?
Don’t listen when I scream
Bury your doubts and fall asleep
Find out I was just a bad dream
“I don’t bother with these hoes
Don’t let these hoes bother me.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, 1923, “Die Sonette an Orpheus”
Here I am King
Here I am truth alone
Todays morning lesson: you can wish for a new dream altering exercise.
But you should be really precise about WHEN you wish it or else sleep paralysis will hit you from out of nowhere.
Lesson learned. Thank you.