It’s crazy because things don’t feel the same anymore , music , food it’s like when you begin understanding why things are the way they are and why people do the things they do you forsake that comfort. The comfort that comes with being oblivious , I asked for this and I will endure to the end but it’s hard not being able to find comfort in any friends or family pushing yourself to a level that they are to herd bred to experience. I want to be happy and the only People I can turn to is you all for that comfort all of you brothers and sisters many of you have been down this path , the people who have done this before me and have felt these things i turn to you all. I know this post is weird but yesterday I started feeling alone knowing all of these things and not being able to act the way I used to is scary not feeling a thing for those around me is odd. I’ll revise this post later so I can give you guys more clarity but I’ll explain more soon or maybe I’ll update this regularly
Is this what it feels like to be alone in a group ? Hopefully someone understands me
PM me bro! I completely understand
And no im not having you pm for “counseling” or therapy Lol. But i can help you through this phase of your ascent
Yea I remember that. When you realise that you’ve crossed the threshold of no return and the familiarity of sweet blissful ignorance is no longer achievable. We all experience this kind of alienation at some point in our ascent. Its initially what drove me, and many other occultists I presume, to drug addiction and solipsistic nihilism. The life of an occultist can be quite a lonely one indeed. Perhaps you could try finding other practitioners in your area to connect with. People who won’t judge you or think youre crazy.
That seeking out of substances made me come to the conclusion this morning I’m done with weed I can’t run from what’s happening to me. Does this fade away my friend ? Do you go back to normal ?
Normal? Not quite. But you will eventually begin to feel like yourself again albeit a new you. One thing that I’ve found to be detrimental is the separation between your mundane self and your magickal self. You need to be able to adorn yourself with your magickal persona like a garment which can be put on and taken off at will. Magick mode is not appropriate in all areas of day to day living so I’d suggest leaving it in the temple. Practice maintaining a healthy balance between magick and the mundane.
Thankyou for shedding light on this I’ll update this thread as I go along
It’s quite inevitable in my opinion. I believe grounding helps with this.
Congratz you sort of know what its like to be me. I grew up with this though, so there is a difference between Being Alone vs Being Lonely. Because of this, it has given me a deep fascination for humanity. I want to see the splendor of peoples souls played out on the world stage…
I’ve felt these same way too…
I 100 percent relate to you and this post. I’m feeling like this right now and have been for some while. I realized the world for what it really is and took off the veil. That veil was very beautiful though, because it shows lies and what you want to see. Even though you feel alone the universe is always with you. I truly believe there a higher source and consciousness out there. I don’t know what or who it is, but it’s there. In addition to friends and family, I had to come to this fucking painful truth. That they’ll die and you will too. You see these aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends they’re not yours or mine to keep. It’s the ugly truth. Cherish all of them while you can, it’s all temporary that’s why time is the most valuable thing. You cannot buy it. You were born alone and will die alone. It’s almost contradictory to say what I said because at the same time it’s just you but at the same time it’s you plus everyone else’s energy too. You are seeing the world for what it is. You’re blessed because not many do. I hope you’re feeling better and continue to learn and grow and experience everything you want. Good luck
YES it certainly is…you’re not alone because I’ve felt this my whole life but even moreso now, except now I don’t care and prefer the company of others who are like-minded. I feel that when one is communing and working intensely with the demonic realm that one is never alone.