I woke up yesterday morning to a welcome aboard The Empire Builder message. The trains name was not on my tickets- but I did find it on my email receipts when I was looking at lay over times- along with the other trains I will be on.
I was kinda startled by it, The boyfriend had spent quite a bit of time the night before reminding me this was only short term. I was going to set up our new home base, and begin building our empire.
I didn’t name the train. He didn’t see my emails- we were already apart when I paid for my ticket and even though we spent the day after together, I had no reason to show him my receipt and it was the last thing on our minds during our final moments together for the next few months.
I don’t believe in coincidence, yet how do you explain this other than some grand coincidence. Either way I took it as a positive sign that I couldn’t explain. He said it was almost as if we had planned it- yet we both knew we didn’t.
Things are going better than expected. It’s my second full day on the train, I’ve received many texts, a long dirty face time, and the perception has shifted from no promises to I’ll be there with you as soon as humanly possible.
I’ve even managed to glean a list of issues he doesn’t think he can abandon- things he has to tackle first, and the fears he has at moving 2600 miles when he’s never been outside of his state.
-Breaks down into
-Not wanting to be homeless like I was at the start of this journey last March. I get it.
I know how handle/ manifest everything except the family issues. Those naturally are more complicated and are going to need to be broke down into simpler projects.
For some reason I’m not in rush to get to work until I’m settled after the trip. Imagine it’s always better to not rush anyways.
I got this.
Funny, I figured forcing an ending to the alcohol struggle for him meant he would loose something, someone or a major trauma would occur. I thought I’d be his back bone to get through it, but seems he does have to learn to handle part of this on his own. I have my own lessons to take from it anyways. The shadow work here is astounding and a stronger wiser woman is going to come out of this.
I also managed to find someone who needed help on the train. Short story is he’s broke, on the train for longer than I will be and had nothing to eat or drink.
shrugs it has always helped me to help others.
Eventually, when I feel like it, I’ll write about what I did to shift his mind in the right direction. Today is not that day.
This is why I do it, this is why I accept and willing invite the forces of change in. They are scary and traumatic and awful, but they make me stronger. They make me believe in my abilities when results manifest over night or even better over the course of a conversation. They teach me how to be stronger and show me the direction to walk in order to be successful in my path.
The things that were inadvertently holding me back have fallen away, and soon I’ll find them replaced with even better.