I need some advice from successful occultists. I’ve developed my power to point where it’s instant and undeniable that its working. And with that comes a massive surge of fear that keeps me from going further and doing what I want to do. This doesn’t seem like a “psychological” fear I have in my mind. Mentally I have no thoughts and to my best awareness no “moral/cognitive” objections. It’s a deeper physical visceral reaction I get.
In this case it’s from doing divination type work, so there’s not even a scary being I’m working with or anything. I’m simply using my own power for this. And that’s why the fear is so restrictive because I cannot remain centered and detached. It’s a massive roadblock.
I’d be grateful for any advice someone might have for dealing with this and moving past it.
1 Like
When I’ve encountered it, this kind of fear usually comes from thinking that maybe I’ll lose control in some way of either the work, the spirit/s, or my own mind, my own power (I had a big unrecognised subconscious fear that my resentments towards people I love, like parents, would kind of jump like an arc of electricity if I didn’t hold on tight enough) and above all, fear of losing touch with reality because of things like the phenomena Nick Bonelli describes here.
It seems to me that the only way out is through - I was determined to push through ALL my mental barriers and started that process in summer 2013, which led to me doing all the work I’ve logged on here and a lot more that I haven’t, and that was about forcibly breaking down everything I could find that got in the way of my freedom to explore.
I still have some restrictions in my life right now that I’m accepting for a reason, but that’s part of a wider plan and isn’t based on fear so much as necessity, within the context of some choices and stuff we’ve made.
As long as you dance around these fears and give them an exalted place by letting them dictate what you can and cannot do, they become your god, they become the force you honour more than your own life and own potential.
That’s my take on it, though I have to emphasise I’m in serious pacts with spirits who I KNOW protect me from just doing the equivalent of playing in traffic, and I check in with them ahead of anything new, so I’m not urging outright recklessness, but systematic and planned destruction of anything that falsely holds you back.
Also, I posted about a book that I think everyone should read: Getting your subconscious on your side - PsychoCybernetics.
1 Like
Is it the power that you fear or what you feel you might want to do with it?
Is it demonic forces you fear? If so, do you fear calling on the wrong spirit and finding yourself in a situation you can not control?
You say you feel a massive surge of fear when you work your magick. I have to question if this surge is your fear, or if it is in fact your power surging and that you fear it because it is such an incredible sensation and something that is essentially foreign to you as we do not normally go through life feeling this.
Holy shit. I hope nobody is fucking with me right now. Forget what I wrote literally a few hours ago.
After I posted this I went to bed and started to feel massive surges or fearful energy running all over me and the fucking walls and ceilings started cracking like crazy as well as my shower randomly dripping. So i went down stairs got some water and salt and cleared my whole room. Then I got some sage out of the closet and placed them close to me for good measure.
The cracking got closer and louder and then i started seeing lights floating around on my wall. This is pissing me off I want to sleep. And this is not even the same fear I described from doing my work. That was more like a fear you’d feel within in real life when presented with danger. This right now is literally waves fearful/anxious energy washing over me. It doesnt even feel like its coming from within me but over me.
And just to put this in context, this has never happened to me.
I do not believe that the things happening around you is “Fear”.
Fear is not real. It exists only in our thoughts of an unknown future and is the product of our imagintation. Causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist.
The things happening around you are not fear. Your response to them is fear. You will continue to fear them as long as you resist them. Examine the situation and understand it. if it is a danger to you, remove the danger.
1 Like
I see fear as an emotional energyform that is “edible”, available and addictive to some spirits and entities. And it doesn’t even have to be personal. It’s just there, ready to be served as a delicious dinner on a silverplate. Turning the table - by not showing fear - can change things and it might even make them surprised.
To experience something new, something we don’t yet understand, flee or fight is a common reaction. Dark energies can be challenging to experience, but it’s a part of something “whole”, just like light energies. Either would loose it’s purpose if it vanished completely, getting unbalanced and chaotic. Unless you don’t understand it yet, making a hen out of a feather is not the right thing to do.
What would happen if you switch from “fear” to “curiosity” and try to understand?
Hey guys thanks for all your help. My reaction to this problem was the fear of some entity.
My first thought was exactly what succupedia said. I have been preyed upon in the past when I was younger by some entity. But the thing is, that entity never had this type of power over me. Many years ago when I had developed my spiritual power I actually called that entity back to me and was amazed by how weak it was. I ended up absorbing it and nothing has ever bothered me again.
I think I know what happened to me. I’ve been doing tantra type work for many years and I have a pretty strong flow of kundalini energy running through me. I believe that yesterday while relaxing in order to drift off into sleep my crown chakra at the top of my head finally opened and kundalini started to rush through this “dirty” chakra and cause all this for me. The reason I was so alarmed is that I’m only use too dealing with my kundalini when in meditation. I’ve never felt really strong kundalini type effects when in my normal state of awareness. The pops and cracks were coming from within my head I noticed them again this morning but they weren’t as strong.
So I think I’ve solved the mystery. It was all “in my head”. Of course it figures this would happen at such an inconvenient time when I’m weakest and not when I’m prepared in meditation. Now that I experienced fear I actually feel anger washing over me which leads me to believe this is just a release of my own energies. I bet once the lower base energies are washed away the higher ones will come and go.
It’s incredible that this happen to me right as I was thinking about what to do with my fear. It’s like I had an instant response to my problem which lead me to believe that it was something else messing with me. Of course the response wasn’t pleasant but I got what I wanted. The reactions I experienced last night are still going on for the most part and its not bothering me.
So I thank you for you help. Its incredible how one fear related problem eclipsed another so quickly. This will be a good reference for anyone else working with kundalini energy. Its amazing how foreign it feels when your not in your usual meditative state. Even though I’ve been working with it for years experiencing it in a different state it still felt so strange.
But going back to my original issue which I stared off the post with I think it was as Thermopylae said " if it is in fact your power surging and that you fear it because it is such an incredible sensation and something that is essentially foreign to you as we do not normally go through life feeling this."
I think I kind of arrogantly assumed that since I’ve made this far that I’m unshakable. Clearly I just haven’t reached the new boundaries. I’ll check out the article you posed Lady Eva and deal with my original issue when I’ve settled this kundalini business.
1 Like
Yay!! I’m Helping!! \o/
Glad to see you have found your center. Though i have say it seems like you HAVE in fact reached your new boundary and just havent found the best way to press forward through it
Like what Succupedia said, some spirits feed off of fear. I guess it’s hard to teach but, to simply ignore their existence is the best way I’ve been able to get a good nights sleep. Even when what you describe, extreme chaos is taking place, I pretend nothing is taking place and it seems to fade away, because if there is no fear, there is nothing to feed off of. I have had success with this.