Greetings all, just found this wonderful forum…had my doubts about koetting at first…but after seeing this, I am glad I kept the email subscriptions.
I need direction badly. Let me tell you where I am at now.
(NOTE: I am broke, please don’t refer me to any things to buy)
- Ego destroyed…or put on backburner
- Moderate healing preformed on self and animals
- Practicing shamanic visualization and dance
- Meditations have currently reached 1 hour mark
- Capable of having a silent mind
- Learning manifestation.
What are all the stages of third eye development?
I can see vibrations in everything…white and black dots in the air…static rain, but havent seen any spirits…dont know what all this does.
I am aware purification is needed…but I am having a hard time giving up the smokes (cigarettes) with the depression onset of magickal stuff vs “real life” ignorance in this world…that and the whole we are “one” thing…ego is in the way? I am not sure how to explain it…How badly will smoking effect my work?
Astral projection…seems fucking impossible. I have done it ONE time for .5 seconds and then the realization of what I had done snapped me back into my body. Never been able to do it again…I am capable of reaching a state of meditation where I feel like I am in sleep paralysis,
but I guess I am lost here? I know about visualizing yourself out…projecting feelings and stuff, but I have a hard time maintaining a stream of imagery and sensation.
Manifestation! I have done it before. I know how we are like drops of water in a pond. Our thoughts and feelings effect everything. I have UNWAIVERING FAITH in the cosmic energy/consciousness…but the degree of the manifestation seems…lack luster or just doesnt appear at all. I have tried to gain money…havent given up on the universe…still waiting…I know time is relative, but I read about people manifesting great things in there life and I am just kinda like…ugh why is it taking so long? (I have spent a great deal of visualization on cash and have only procured 35 cents I found on the ground. -__-)
I have been doing some research on the mercurial hermaphrodite (golden child) and I feel as if achieving a rainbow body (Extremely high consciousness?) is needed for being able to manifest things yourself without having to rely on the cosmos. Any thoughts on this?
Evoking spirits…there is so much garbage on magic around the internet (fools and predators) that I am afraid of trusting anything when the information seems so…unprofessional? I don’t want to summon something that would do catastrophic damage to my soul or body. And I kinda don’t really want to control anything, you know? (I guess I would walk the white path, but I don’t see good vs evil…just perceptions of things.)
I know I am kinda all over with this stuff, but I am in a literal rut with my progression and I keep getting dreams like I am supposed to be doing something (Most recent was a dream about the Green Lion…alchemical symbolism)…which would mean purification…but I am so depressed and stuck if I gave up cigarettes I would probably end up offing myself. @_@
I appreciate your time. Thanks!