Dark Night of the Soul - Beginner needs advice!

New Magician Help & Introductions
1

Greetings all, just found this wonderful forum…had my doubts about koetting at first…but after seeing this, I am glad I kept the email subscriptions.

I need direction badly. Let me tell you where I am at now.
(NOTE: I am broke, please don’t refer me to any things to buy)

  • Ego destroyed…or put on backburner
  • Moderate healing preformed on self and animals
  • Practicing shamanic visualization and dance
  • Meditations have currently reached 1 hour mark
  • Capable of having a silent mind
  • Learning manifestation.

QUESTIONS

  1. What are all the stages of third eye development?
    I can see vibrations in everything…white and black dots in the air…static rain, but havent seen any spirits…dont know what all this does.

  2. I am aware purification is needed…but I am having a hard time giving up the smokes (cigarettes) with the depression onset of magickal stuff vs “real life” ignorance in this world…that and the whole we are “one” thing…ego is in the way? I am not sure how to explain it…How badly will smoking effect my work?

  3. Astral projection…seems fucking impossible. I have done it ONE time for .5 seconds and then the realization of what I had done snapped me back into my body. Never been able to do it again…I am capable of reaching a state of meditation where I feel like I am in sleep paralysis,
    but I guess I am lost here? I know about visualizing yourself out…projecting feelings and stuff, but I have a hard time maintaining a stream of imagery and sensation.

  4. Manifestation! I have done it before. I know how we are like drops of water in a pond. Our thoughts and feelings effect everything. I have UNWAIVERING FAITH in the cosmic energy/consciousness…but the degree of the manifestation seems…lack luster or just doesnt appear at all. I have tried to gain money…havent given up on the universe…still waiting…I know time is relative, but I read about people manifesting great things in there life and I am just kinda like…ugh why is it taking so long? (I have spent a great deal of visualization on cash and have only procured 35 cents I found on the ground. -__-)

  5. I have been doing some research on the mercurial hermaphrodite (golden child) and I feel as if achieving a rainbow body (Extremely high consciousness?) is needed for being able to manifest things yourself without having to rely on the cosmos. Any thoughts on this?

  6. Evoking spirits…there is so much garbage on magic around the internet (fools and predators) that I am afraid of trusting anything when the information seems so…unprofessional? I don’t want to summon something that would do catastrophic damage to my soul or body. And I kinda don’t really want to control anything, you know? (I guess I would walk the white path, but I don’t see good vs evil…just perceptions of things.)

I know I am kinda all over with this stuff, but I am in a literal rut with my progression and I keep getting dreams like I am supposed to be doing something (Most recent was a dream about the Green Lion…alchemical symbolism)…which would mean purification…but I am so depressed and stuck if I gave up cigarettes I would probably end up offing myself. @_@

I appreciate your time. Thanks!

2

Greetings dreadvegas,

I’m going to comment on what I felt after reading your post.

The first thing that stuck out is “I am broke”. My experience thus far with BALG has been that we, as Adepts, should not be living in poverty. With that being said, I know for me, at times along The Path it’s been extremely difficult to maintain my practice and make true strides.

Yes, I too have and can sit in meditation for 1hr+…reaching Absorption States thus deepening my abilities, but, if I’m worried about the rent or food sooner or later physiology always wins. I’m not taking away from your accomplishments, nor is it my intention to insult you (please know that this is not why I’m writing this).

Up until recently, I too have been in a very negative Cycle of Distress, and know that once my basic human animal needs of food, shelter, and a couple of bucks in my pocket have been settled…it’s much easier to get centered and focused.

The only reason I’m saying this is abilities and stabilization tend to come easier once the mundane sphere is handled? Their is A LOT of free material here on BALG Forum and in the newsletters to handle such things as money…use them!

The majority of the things that you are inquiring about YOU as the ADEPT can get right here!!! But it is going to take not only an investment of time…but yes of money as well. That’s why I’m stressing to you…handle the mundane.

It’s no secret that this is pretty much what I’m doing right now myself. I’m completely setting up my life in this cycle of time to completely focus on practice of Meditation, Yoga, Magick…that’s it. For myself, not having to worry (a real DEMON worry and it’s twin brother DOUBT) is very freeing. This creates a feedback loop in which I am just reinforcing my Godliness.

OK…that’s my 3 cents worth…this is what works for moi…moving on:

#5. “Rainbow Body”

I’m not sure I understand this? I can only comment by saying that I want to manifest whatever I want, here, in this meaty incarnation on this plane. And in order to do that I’ll need to rely on myself, Spirits, friends (human), and other alliances. Perhaps I don’t fully understand your intention…for that I apologize.

“Rainbow Body” is a term that I’m very familiar with relating to The Tibetan Bon Tradition and the Nyingma Schools of Tibetan Buddhism. These are very much indeed Tantric practices achieved through a lifetime of practice of Atiyoga/Dzogchen. To the best of my knowledge, once an Adept achieves The Rainbow Body…they ain’t comin’ back to this plane for anything.

I only know this from practical life experience when living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania I studied under Tempa Dukte Lama at the Olmo Ling

[url=http://www.olmoling.org/]http://www.olmoling.org/[/url]

The reason I’m bringing all this up and posting some resources is that I know for myself I must be really sure of what it is I want and want to accomplish. If one were to truly want The Rainbow Body and to literally use the meat & consciousness of the current incarnation, your life would be nothing but practice, and to do that one may want to truly investigate ordaining in the Bon or Nyingma Schools.

Regards,

M_439

3

Thank you mode for your response.

First let me start out by saying I am very conscious of the negative worries of
the mundane and the progression limitations it imposes.

I currently reside with family, I am in no immediate threat of lacking
physical necessities. But I am a felon, and with such…job opportunity is
very limited (Especially in my area)

The problem therein lays with the negative energy projected by said family
members who are unfortunately indoctrinated into Christianity and hold a very ignorant view on the universe and its true reality.

I can sit there and meditate about procuring work, but if someone is constantly focusing on me and thinking negatively (Like: He will never get a job), since we are all connected, that results in fucking up my wishes to manifest my reality. I am in an web of tangled sadness and reproach. Not to mention procuring my own worry and doubt from the situation.

In regards to the source of information through the forums, I am already on it. Currently downloading pdfs of books. Now reading The Yoga of Power by Julius Evola. I appreciate your concern on insulting me and that has not been my perception. I understand the overwhelming amounts of ignorance western culture has produced.

Now with the rainbow body thing. Yes it is very much in tune with Tibetan tantra and requires a lifetime of dedication. From my understanding though, that is pretty much the true direction a mage should take. The unity of the male and female aspects within oneself, mating and achieving perfection. The animal body and mind - imagination/logic working with the will power of
our spiritual being. You merge the two, removing physical limitation all together. This is how Jesus of Nazareth could walk on water and the stories
of mystical levitation with the mountain monks. Alchemy is metaphorical of this very thing. Producing the gold (soul/body perfection) from lead…or impure flesh. Now my wishes for this would be escapism, I suppose. As my life is full of chains and bonds that I wish to overcome.

In reality, I would like to travel on foot and master myself. I have no interest in the mundane what so ever. My whole life has been philosophy, books and art. Over the course of time I discovered my path to be that of the magi.

In short, I would like to know benevolent entities in which I could evoke that would expand my knowledge and help me manifest material needed to leave
western life forever. And I need money for that. (Backback, tent, etc)

4

@dreadvegas

Hope this helps:

“I’m broke” - read through the money spells on this site.

  1. What are all the stages of third eye development?
    Meditation. Then after you money magick starts working, get E.A.'s Divination Course or at least his Become A Living God ebook.

  2. I am aware purification is needed…but I am having a hard time giving up the smokes (cigarettes) with the depression onset of magickal stuff vs “real life” ignorance in this world…that and the whole we are “one” thing…ego is in the way? I am not sure how to explain it…How badly will smoking effect my work?
    I don’t smoke so I can’t answer this other than by opinion so I’ll save this for someone else.

  3. Astral projection…seems fucking impossible. I have done it ONE time for .5 seconds and then the realization of what I had done snapped me back into my body. Never been able to do it again…
    OK, you say it is impossible but also say you did it (even if for a brief time).
    Get that “impossible” crap out of your head or you will never do it. Focus on when you did do it. I had a mentor in Dragon Rouge who always told me “fake it 'til you make it”. Hated that advice at first but it works. When you first start out, stay close to your body, map out a short route to travel and keep at it.
    When you plan your route (say from a bedroom downstairs to the kitchen), walk it a few times during the day and notice details of different things like textures on walls, cold door handles, etc.

  4. Manifestation! I have done it before. I know how we are like drops of water in a pond. Our thoughts and feelings effect everything. I have UNWAIVERING FAITH in the cosmic energy/consciousness…but the degree of the manifestation seems…lack luster or just doesnt appear at all. I have tried to gain money…havent given up on the universe…still waiting…I know time is relative, but I read about people manifesting great things in there life and I am just kinda like…ugh why is it taking so long? (I have spent a great deal of visualization on cash and have only procured 35 cents I found on the ground. -__-)
    Search though the money magick spells on this. Personally I have had better success with financial magick where you are working with investments or promotions rather than, I need $50 by Tuesday.

  5. I have been doing some research on the mercurial hermaphrodite (golden child) and I feel as if achieving a rainbow body (Extremely high consciousness?) is needed for being able to manifest things yourself without having to rely on the cosmos. Any thoughts on this?
    Mode answered this better than I could.

  6. Evoking spirits…there is so much garbage on magic around the internet (fools and predators) that I am afraid of trusting anything when the information seems so…unprofessional? I don’t want to summon something that would do catastrophic damage to my soul or body. And I kinda don’t really want to control anything, you know? (I guess I would walk the white path, but I don’t see good vs evil…just perceptions of things.)
    I think you will notice when reading E.A.'s work that strips all the garbage out for you. Perhaps you have already noticed that.
    From what I have found working with spirits is if you contact one that makes you feel “uncomfortable”, banish it. Just like an unwanted house guest.
    Contact them and make an arrangement, not a demand. You know, hey do this for me and I will do this for you.

5

Aziesiel - Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the input.

Astral Travel - I know its not impossible. I don’t think it is…more of a figure of speech. The amount of effort of doing this and no success makes it SEEM like it isn’t possible. But I don’t doubt that it is real. Also…I didn’t start out near my body. Either is was completely lucid (residing in mind?) or something went screwy cause I popped into my backyard and my body is in the bedroom.

Also on that note, I haven’t tried in a long time. Most of my meditations are completely silent while focusing on breathing and me fading out. I guess I figured if I stopped trying to do something, something would happen. Maybe I will again try to intentionally leave.

Evoking - Two questions I guess.

  1. What would a spirit want from a mortal?
  2. How does me, the mortal, banish a spirit (Im going to assume it is way more powerful than me) from my presence? Im sure most of them could kick my ass. o_o
6

Well, without giving away techniques taught by E.A., when you meditate, focus on one object in your mind. Hold it there until you can do it for 10 minutes.

What would a spirit want from a mortal? Blood, food, liquor, spread the name of that spirit (my favorite). You can also ask what they want. If you don’t like the terms then don’t agree to it.

The banishing…well, everyone here probably has a different technique. There are many ways. Tell it in the name of your deity or patron demon to leave.
"IN THE NAME OF KING BELIAL, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE THIS TEMPLE, ETC., ETC."
There are probably banishings on this forum. Just search. Also, different prayers can be used.
Make sure you research the demon you want to summon. What they like, don’t like, incense to use, sigils, colors, whatever. If you don’t feel comfortable doing, then don’t until you are.
When I first started practicing, I was told to study for a year before trying to evoke a demon. I guess that is a matter of opinion but you do need to do your research.

I would really recommend you look at purchasing E.A.'s BALG ebook. It isn’t very expensive and a good place to start.