My mother was exactly like this - look up the signs of narcissism, sounds like she had more than her fair share. The blame/victim game is classic.
The best strategy is to stay as far away from her as possible. You can’t beat her at her own game - she doesn’t think like you, you are just an object to her and she’ll do things you’d never expect, including lying to break up the friendship between you and your father, friends, anyone to isolate and discredit you.
Don’t tell her you know what she is to her face, she can and will attack you, behind your back to turn everyone against you - go “grey rock”.
Magickally - go harder than you’d think - a lot of people find narcs have natural protections. I’d go full death curse myself. It might not kill her (and if it does… good?) and could well have the effect of cutting her out of your life well enough to tolerate her existence until you can become independent.
A mirror spell will be useless on a narc, don’t bother. They already know deep down they’re worthless (their feeling not necessarily yours) and have built up so many layers of lies about who they are, they only see what they want to see in a ‘mirror’. Mirror spells work to wake up decent people from being stupid. She’s not a decent person, she’s broken and there’s no fixing her.