This is going to be a long topic so if you don’t feel like wasting your time on a broken soul I suggest you do something more useful with it.
I wanted to talk to someone about something that has been on my mind for a long time and since I have no friends or anyone to care about me, I decided to talk here, because BALG is the only community that accepted me and I met amazing people here.
My whole life has been a miserable piece of shit, I’ve never had a friend in my life, I never had someone to call me to go out or people that would genuinely care about me. I’ve been a loner since the day I was born and I cry to this day about it, because even though I pretend that I don’t need people, I’m a very kind and loving person. I’ve always helped people with their problems and cared about them, it’s just my nature to help others, I would put my life in danger at any given moment just to protect the innocent.
But I’m tired, I feel like my world is crumbling around me, I feel that there’s some sort of energy making people stop talking to me, the same energy that causes only bad things to happen to me.
I don’t know what to do, I’ve ran out of options and now I feel like a plastic bag floating without a purpose, each day desperation and death seem closer to me, each day I’m considering jumping in front of a train.
I’m convinced that I’ve been cursed before I was born. I’m good looking, I know how to talk to people, how to flirt, how to keep conversations going and I’m still ignored and unwanted.
My life can’t end like this, I know I’m meant to accomplish such great things and help so many people, I just want to be like everybody else, I want a normal life.
I just want to know, have I been cursed or should I just kill myself?
At this point any option is okay with me, I have nothing to live for and whenever I think about death I feel happy and relieved.
I would do anything to stop what’s happening to me.
Thank you for reading this,