Not to sound paranoid or anything but thinking over my life so far I wonder if I could legitimately have been cursed at some point. It seems like I’ve spent my whole adult life watching most everyone I know her somwwhere, anywhere at all. I’ve seen friends and family all meet their partners plan weddings start families. I’ve heard of most people traveling, earning promotions, buying houses… While mine has ever gone anywhere at all. At least it’s only complete stagnation with little hope of ever getting unstuck, not bad health or complete rotten luck.
I try hard to manifest change, to use the law of attraction, to use magic, to use mundane life means to get something I need at a given time and I litteraly feel like I receive twisted perversions of my desires. For instance I needed a new vehicle when my old one not worth fixing blew a water pump. I quickly manifested one, was happy with my quick result… Then found out the transmission was bad. It’s becoming clear to me that my life if I go on as I am will be one of putting in three times the effort to get the bare minimum, to see others race ahead of me, to want things and never reach them. To make matters worse I can’t stop myself from wanting to achieve and the further behind I fall the worse it does for my emotional health.
Interacting with others it seems I am not seen at all, not thought of as either capable or as mattering. It’s not that they mean anything by it but that it just doesn’t even occur to them. I end up again and again overlooked, misunderstood or used.
Other people are shitheads anyway - not all, but I promise you that from what I read you saying on here, assuming that they (we) all are might do you more good than looking for exceptions.
No-one gives you power - you just take it.
No-one gives you approval, permission, understanding, you just have to be true to who you are, and those things will come, or not, but you can’t chase after them like a dog wanting scooby snacks.
It seems these abusive people in your life have got you placing your central identity in the hands of other people, which is a known danger of subjecting yourself to prolonged abuse, instead of slapping it down or walking away.
You’re probably a really nice person, and that’s the type abusers glom onto, and make into their trained butt-monkey, so you need a good solid injection of an opposing mindset, summon up your inner bitch, and tell them to stfu, ridicule them by exaggerating their comments (start in your head if you’re not ready to confront them), and meanwhile read a ton of life coaching and stuff online to get back your healthy selfishness.
Thinking out loud to yourself that “Eva’s full of preachy shit with this post” would be a positive reaction!
But I’m also serious, and I think this would help you. I’ve known a lot of lovely people, mostly but not all women, who express the exact same frustrations you have here, and for all that those setbacks (like the car) are real, what other people get, think, or do, is entirely irrelevant.
Read “The Martian” and see how every time Watney treis to fix his situation up, something even worse happens as a result of his attempts, and sets him back - that’s your transmission.
But none of his setbacks can be to do with other people, since he’s the only man on the entire planet, and each time he hits a setback he comes back harder (after a whine, cussing session, and in case simply wanting to give up completely) because that IS life.
And this - replace depression etc with “cursed”:
Oh and finally, if you believe you’re cursed, which IMO is vanishingly unlikely by the way, that adds a whole new level of Things Wrong With Me that will play right into the hands of the assholes in your life.
Bonus points if you confess this to a healer and they tell you there’s an amazingly strong curse, and you have to pay them more than you can afford, and you then live with the dual disemopowering thoughts that 1. the universe has you on its shitlist and 2. you’re so feeble, you can’t even pay to get it lifted.
Now go on, tell me to fuck off for being unsympathetic by all means, but honestly you’re not doing yourself any favours looking for external proof that random bad shit in your life has some major serious external causes.
Get your game face on, summon up your inner bitch goddess and call up some angels to protect you, maybe do an egg limpia (instructions here, courtsey of Euoi) as backup, but please, please don’t start looking for reasons and proof that your life is uniquely sucky, because what we look for with belief, we usually find - even if we have to create it first!
It has taking me years to put into play my will from ritual into the world around me and I’m still not where I want to be i am always working on myself. The best way to manifest your will is to forget your will! Do your ritual works,meditate and go be you work, live your life.
That is what works for me. If your cured if from your own hands and not taking your mind out of magick
I had a similar experience. I’ve you put the effort towards a counter curse or a reflection spell or twenty it should clear up. Even if it’s in your mind, remember that part of existence is to accept that we can say no to certain experiences. Another birthright, especially one utilized by magicians. So if you have the will and the knowledge then take action to counter any potential curse. Magick is, after all, essentially the process of causality. No one is immune to being cursed. Just be prepared and keep your eyes open. Be aware, much more so than the average person.