Confused

I did one evocation and alot of sigil work. I became very depressed for the past 6 months to the point where all I’ve been doing is sleeping all day and not geting anything accomplished. I went to a shaman that deals with the Hindu system. He did a chart for me and did a healing on me. I asked him if what I do with evocation is what made me deppressed? He said that you have to be careful when dealing with demonic entities because they dont respect you. You have to have a real good concept of self because they can see right through you. Any show of weakness will be exploited and they will laugh at you and punish you for it. He said during the cleaning he said he experienced alot of resistence. wich I also felt myself befor he said anything. I dont know if I had a spririt on me or what. But I do know that I feel amillion times better. I want to continue with work on here but I cant go back into the depression that I fell into. I dont mean to start and argument or get people riled up. I’m just asking for an objective opinion.

which demon did you evoke and for what purpose ?

I noticed that after doing some heavy sorcery and spirit work I would feel “off”

It is a sign that I needed more internal work. So I shifted gears and did more energy work, chakra work, energy channel work, rune work to better understand their connection to me…etc. it could be that you just got out of balance like I did.

He’s wrong.

If you’re pretty good at keeping yourself alive via magic, in my experience, you’ll get noticed. Belial has taken a very hands on approach to helping me achieve godhood.

Demons may make or break you. Most entities respect the conjurer because of the flow of omnipotence to see you as a god.

You’re making thoughtforms to act in certain ways, don’t. An easier way to commit suicide would be to eat a bullet.

If you play your hand in such a way you will have more knowledge and respect from demons than you know what to do with. I mean, I have four Demonic Knights at my command, given to me by Belial. I think it’s a certain mindset, and if you think they don’t respect you they won’t.

Though your off feelings could easily be tied to blockages or you’re being sucked on by a vampire and not know it.

Eternally,
-Sev

It’s my experience that 99% of healers, tarot readers, and so on don’t mix with doing any kind of black magick because they have different philosophies that are inherantly opposed to the black magick worldview. Choose carefully, because if you let one inside your trust and your energy, they can really mess with you.

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Some of the most gentle spirits I know are demons. It’s really easy, when you’re depressed, to assume all of your problems are spiritually based. I’m guilty of the same thing, and it’s a hard pit to dig yourself out of. Although, when I’m there, I don’t even want to work with angels, let alone forces most people consider evil.

My advice? Take a break with the heavy stuff for a while, stick with mediation and energy raising. And when you’re up for it, contact Buer and/or Hent’yos. Both are demons who don’t like to see people in pain, and I’ve had great success with both of them. Buer went out of his way the day after my speaking with him to give me some much needed hope, and Hent’yos has delivered me from some nasty mindfucks. I hear Glas’yos is dependable too.

Let me know if you need their sigils, but they should be easy enough to find online.

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I’d say work with spirits that will give you the knowledge of or solutions to your problems, and help you gain mastery of yourself and your world.

If it get’s really bad, take a break like these other guys have said. I had to take a couple years off one time when things got really weird. Learn, grow, gain mastery of your mind and habits, and come back even stronger.

I’m not like the others in A) I’ve only been a practitioner for about 8 months and B) I don’t think I ever could walk away from the occult.

Well, what do I mean by that? I mean I have found reality lacking, painful, and severely boring. I don’t think I can turn away from something that offers me the power to change aspects of my existence and others, I don’t think I can turn away from something that would give me power for once in my life.

I’d say I still have another seventy, eighty years left in me if I don’t get murdered in my sleep by invisible assassins from Nar Cruz.

And you can bet that each day, I will Practice because when I first tasted power, the only thing I said was “more”.

I can’t turn away from something that could turn me into a god, something much more powerful than even those gods that are feared and respected today.

I chose the path of the godslayer because when I do make that first move, I will have grown an enormous amount. I have nothing against most gods, and the things I have against others are personal. The main reason I chose this path is to say that I could, and I birthed that idea from the taste of power.

Call it arrogance, but that’s what happened- I tasted power, and immediately turned my head to the highest stars, and decided I’d shake them to the ground.

My advice? Never turn away. Ever. Evolve. Grow. Continue. Something odd pops up? End it. An enemy kills a family member? Mutilate it. Got entire organizations out for you? Deal with it. It’s all about evolution, and you won’t get anywhere if you sit on your ass, “taking a break” from the occult.

Eternally,
-Sev

This bit definitely - depression has a number of sources, so consider cleaning up your diet for a start - my lifelong depressive tendencies went within weeks of cutting out gluten, and I’d had no reason to suspect it might be a problem, so look into that kind of area.

Also, ask the spirits for their take on what makes you depressed - mine was all about the world, and my life, not being as I wanted them to be - since that’s the purpose of doing magick for me, to shape my life and the woder world as I want them, in my case giving it a break would be the worst thing, it would be an admission of defeat.

Only you will know if it’s right for you: I lean gung-ho myself and would be all like “NO! Evoke, get possessed, marry a demoness and learn psionics!” but that’s just me, and I’ve posted on here before how I manifested a great apartment at a really bleak time, so depression won’t always hold your magick back.

Finally, if you still have a lingering feeling of love, rejection, hate (maybe all and more mixed up) for your ex, do some work on that - the biggest blows I took in my life were over love gone wrong, and it was only when I dealt with that in various ways I was able to move on and get my basic mojo back, when then gave me a better foundation for everything else.

I lean gung-ho myself and would be all like “NO! Evoke, get possessed, marry a demoness and learn psionics!”[/quote] I like this plan :slight_smile:

The same thing has happened to me where I’ll be running like crazy with whatever workings I’m doing and then all the sudden it stops.
I start becoming lazy,tired,and downright just don’t even feel like looking at my temple even though I know there’s work to be done.
It’ll last for as long as I let it.
I don’t think it has to do with you working with demons.As stated above by others,demons are here to HELP you ascend.

With me it’s usually just overloading myself with a lot of spirit work and not enough inner work on myself.

I’ve recently started more of a meditation regiment and had some great revelations just from myself.

It’s increased my confidence to step back up to the spirits being I KNOW who I am.

If you don’t respect yourself no one else will.

This goes double when dealing with demons.

Honestly take a break and get your head right, fuck the macho gung-ho bullshit. Get yourself right and stable before pushing forward. This stuff is not as easy on you as the books and loudmouths proclaim it is. It takes it’s toll and I know a couple guys who are light-years ahead of most here and they all advocate taking a break when you start getting burned out.

I’m taking a few weeks off myself at the moment to get centered and grounded before doing a lot of internal work, a few weeks is not the end of the world and will do you more good than trying to progress while depressed and disenfranchised. Just make sure you get back on the horse.

Taking a break is not walking away, it’s not quiting and it’s not being weak. It’s taking care of yourself and keeping your head on straight. Do what you think is best, not what I or anyone else thinks is best.

Hmmn.

I’ve never been called macho before, and I was sharing my genuine experiences of feeling like a failure if I walk away from something I’m doing to improve my life, based on the xp of having actually done that and set myself back, AND with the caveat that it was down to jaysalamone to know what was best once hearing a few different opinions.

Differences of viewpoint are healthy, and standing strongly for what you believe’s right in the face of opposition’s a good thing, but words like “bullshit” and “loudmouth” are just hurtful and unecessary IMO, I was speaking from the heart and from my real experiences - including some recent ones I posted about being wiped out, and needing a long weekend in bed just to recover! :wink:

Moving on, this seems like a question best solved with divination, once you feel you’ve had a fair bit of feedback - I always get 4 Swords show up when I need some downtime, 8 Wands when it’s pedal-to-the-metal time, and a lot of this is going to be about what’s going on in your life outside magick, your relationships with family, friends, employment, all sorts, so the pace needs to fit your lifestyle and work for you, or else it’s going to be self-defeating in a different way.

There’s also the old Freud coin test - if you think you don’t know the answer, toss a coin to decide, and then if you think “What if it gives me the wrong answer?” you might just be able to figure out what you were hoping it would say.

It sounds silly but it’s like the NLP question, “What would you say if you did know the answer” which just tricks your brain into taking a more agile stand, since it’s only playing and doesn’t have to be “correct” right away.

And have you thought about a shift of focus for a while, to work with angels? It might be a different energy, and there are also the many gods of various pantheons who you could work with, which might also be useful.

I have to agree with Eva in the aspect of doing some work with a God or Goddess.

Odin treated me like his child AND his student.He had a very loving energy about him and just his presence made me leave my temple with a smile.

Now recently Hecate is quickly becoming my go to spirit when I need answers.
She doesn’t beat around the bush and tells me what I need to hear.She,like Odin has a protective paternal energy/vibe at least for me.

If you don’t know who to turn to spiritually do some divination.Once you feel a pull to a certain God/dress simply call out to them bearing offerings specific to their individual wants.

For Odin I offered mead and tobacco.

For Hecate I have a special herbal blend I make using a mortar and pestle just for Her.

Basically find out what it is you need to do through divination whether it be a break or work with different spirits and do it for yourself.

Eva, I was not referring to you in that comment. If you came to that conclusion due to my use of the gung-ho line my appologies. I respect and appreciate your views as a practioner. What I’m refering to is the constant jump right in, nothing to fear, blah blah blah bullshit…yes bullshit that gets spread all over.

You know the risks and make calculated decisions based on your past experiences. You know better than anyone else what it is you can and can not handle. You know as well as I do that this stuff is real and can get to the OH SHIT level pretty quickly. I’m not advocating quitting when it gets hard, I’m saying when you start entering depression, not I’m sad or I’m tired, or I’m burned out but real depression you need to center and ground yourself. If your getting to that level in your work that points to an imbalance and you need to evaluate what that imbalance is.

Your views were based on your experiences as were mine. No one here is going to hold Jaysamalone’s hand when he’s sick of it all. It’s fact. When I was so down I didn’t care about living and was crawling in a bottle words of encouragement meant little. You have to go through this stuff on your own, so make calculated risks and evaluate just how important a goal is or isn’t to achieve.

Cool, I thought it was healthier to get that off my chest than not, hopefully it’s not diverting the thread because it’s at least looking at how different people view things - and I have said before myself that I find grimoires that leave out the human side, the failures, tiredness and discouraged times, can be both discouraging & disempowering.

Finding your pace (different for all of us, due to a multitude of factors) is probably as important as finding the right spirits to work with.

I understand the lessening of work: like, laying off of entity contact and just doing some exercises now and again. To take a break. I get that.

To me, stopping something that can yield you as much power as magic is like stopping drinking coffee because you want to wane off it- it’s just too worthwhile to take an entire break from.

Taking a break is only going to make you ascend slower. Lessen your work if your stressed, or do some chakra work only to get yourself balanced again, but taking a break? This world is far too plain for my tastes, and taking a break would be akin to going back to the mud for me.

It’s just my opinion, but as long as you do things carefully and don’t piss off the wrong people like I have, you’ll be fine.

Guess how long I studied the occult for? The answer is I didn’t. I jumped right into it.

And then got my ass handed to me by four entities. So I reached out, got help from the Black Sun, and turned them into dust. When things get to that OH SHIT level that TWF mentioned, you have to push back.

You are not WEAK, by any stretch of the imagination. If something pushes you, you either push back or get help to push back. Or you’re just another piece of mud.

You’ve got everything to gain. Feeling depressed? Go loosen your energetic bodies a little, you may be tight. Something really wrong, but not a disease? Check your chakras, some may be malnourished.

Pretty much all of what TWF said is true, you have to go through this stuff on your own. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to get help from outside entities. Contacting them is not that hard, you can just gaze into a sigil or if you know them well enough telepathically.

You want some advice, OP? Godhood is the ultimate goal, no matter what it takes to achieve. If you stop, that means, no matter how you dress it up, the occult has either:

  1. Become too out of the norm for you, too personal.

  2. Overwhelmed you.

  3. Made you think twice about how bad you REALLY want that godhood.

Now is the time to rise, while Olympus is weak, and make your claim to those thrones. If you stop, then you are considering whether or not you want to be a god. Just think of that.

This plane exists solely to be conquered, and by stopping after you’ve started, you’re relinquishing the idea of godhood.

And besides, did you ever think your depression was enemy induced? A test by some entity that wants to work with you? Do the math, unnatural things when you’ve started the occult aren’t unnatural. If you fall into a depression and nothing in your physical life has changed, then there is a greater force at work.

Don’t quit, and keep your eyes open.

Eternally,
-Sev

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Thank you everyone for ur input.