I want to keep a journal to look back on who I was and who I have become with magick and hard work. I started off by reading and doing a bit of NAP. I was drawn to the Gallery of Magick so I dove into those books.
I started by using Magickal Destiny. It is rather new and it seems like a great place to start. A HGA is with you from birth and a mentor seems invaluable in such endeavors. I have been doing the protocols in the book predominantly 3 of them and have been gazing into the sigils. Trying not to expect results which can be hard. One truly notable experience I did have so far is a visual of an angel ripping something vile off of my heart. I could feel this happening. Not quite physical but painful in a way like a clump of anxiety in my chest was being forcefully removed. I felt like this happened because maybe we couldn’t connect otherwise. Since then I have noticed my anxiety when it does manifest seems lower than it normally does. Like that part has been removed. I feel like I shouldn’t question magick at this point but I do.
A little to my own worry I did the first ritual from Demons of Magick. I was having trouble with the ritual process as it seemed kind of all over the place. Since it was rather jumbled in my head, I decided to record each part and give myself time to recite the words along myself. That way I could let go of some worry while doing the ritual itself. I evoked Sitri. I asked for “the aura of lustful power with women.” I was going to a kinky party that evening and I figured what better place to test that out.
The party itself was lackluster in the vibe. We were 3 couples. Something truly notable did happen though. We all went skinny dipping in the pool. I have never been skinny dipping. Not because I have any problem with it, I just never really wanted to. The pool was super warm. Slightly lower than jacuzzi temperature. We had a pretty good time. I hadn’t seen the other couples naked and really didn’t expect one of the couples to get naked at all. It seemed uncharacteristic.
Now when I did the ritual I made a few mistakes here and there. So I thought to myself if it doesn’t have any effect no worries and you just did the ritual today so give it time. It occured to me though that I had read Sitri has the power to make people reveal themselves. IE strip down. Well that happened and it was the first time. At this point I feel like I am just adamant about not believing the coincidences are just that. I will not stop doing magick and eventually I hope to look back on myself as silly for not seeing what was right in front of me as it appears I have some results so early on into my journey.
The last thing I have tried (the party was last night) today was Words of Power. I did the following 3 as it said in the book to stop right about there.
Attract a guide or mentor- I thought of having a mentor of magic come to my aide(@Norski) sticks out in my mind for some reason. I thought of someone assisting me to my goal of financial independence or FIRE which is so important to me to only work because I choose to (having F-you money.) I know how to maintain money and make it grow. I am hoping for a faster way to get there because it’s not a question of if. I also used this to bring my HGA closer since I am trying to do that anyways. I also thought of my current therapist continuing to help me grow and become who I want. I felt what each of these things would feel like.
Let go of Shame or guilt- When it comes to sex. When it comes to what I want. When it comes to how I see others see me. None of this is beneficial to me or my goals. I want the release of Catholic guilt of doing magic, contacting demons, and wanting to choose my own destiny. It also occurred to me that even if god does have a destiny for us all maybe mine is to challenge my own destiny. Just a thought.
Dedicate yourself to a new skill- Weight lifting 3 times a week. Rotating progressive overload. Do this after work consistently.
This is my journey so far. I am open to all criticisms, comments, and advice.