Closing the book

[Vandheer]

@Vandheer

From now on I am gonna post one post per week.

I am gonna swallow my words. Excuse me.

Its important. I managed to recall a memory. An aunt I never met. Because she used rat poison for her suicide long before I was born. I am feeling that this is a call. What does she want, revenge beyond death? We would have a common enemy in this case. But if the first thing coming on my mind is revenge, I better sit this one out until I find equibilirium. Otherwise, frontload.

Things have gotten massively better at mundane. I became more confident and this clearly showed in my aura. However, mentally I am on thin ice. I am snapping out of it, now. Before I hurt a loved one. I can not forgive myself if that happens.

To be fair to myself I kinda understand. I had no balance. Full of yang. Cunning, selfish. Then I had to settle in. The thrill gave way into the grounding warmth. I may miss the old ways but I am not changing what I have at the moment.

I can neither dissappoint my master nor my patron anymore. Whats there to excuse anyways? I have both the sun and my moon, right here, shining.

No more ranting posts now. This is the last. I am taking things from here.

Lastly, sad to see some familiar faces leaving the forum these days. But as someone who did that on regular, I understand. I hope to see you fellas back one day.

[Vandheer]

More progress on the way to lucid dreaming and dreamwalking. This time I managed to stay long enough that I didn’t wake up from it. Not much more before I achieve walking in someone elses dreams. And probably I am thinking of simplistic terms here. Mindscape is limitless.

Also we are gonna create a servitor in the shape of a Komodo Dragon. I am HOOKED.

The retarded state I have been having these days have stopped. If I want to stop something, I will. Wallowing in pity is a choice.

I think in the end of Mouni Sadhus concentration he will make me levitate a pin with concentration alone. I am ready for the challenge. Bring it on.

Half of Dankquanicus’ suggestion is done and it strengthened my view on how to handle things around. Elements, planets, zodiac, primum mobile, empryan. I may be still mixing two and two here. In the end it will sit. Speaking of an order, maybe I am thinking this on a wrong way. If Saturn is the limitor it also means its the liberator, right? This goes both ways and I think I got stuck with the descending order. This doesn’t make Saturn more numinous in my eyes, but its a start.

…but love under a strong will.

[Onion]

@Vandheer

If Saturn is the limitor it also means its the liberator, right?

Interesting thought

[Dankquanicus]

@Vandheer

If Saturn is the limitor it also means its the liberator, right?

Interesting thought, I would say it is true in one way, but not in another. In traditional medical astrology, a plant that causes (and so rules over) a certain disease can also remove it. For example, to Saturn belongs depression, and he causes fear and anxiety, and suffering along that line. And I have been growing a certain plant of Saturn, and I harvested it under a specifically elected time, and with this it has a wonderful quality to remove depression, anxiety, fear, and reduce other ailments of Saturn.

However, a Talisman of Saturn will not be a wealth talisman. It does not seem to be in his nature. He does not raise one out of poverty, which is one thing that he causes (However, he can raise one to power, as he is the highest of the planets). He does not primarily cause businesses to do well, for example.

Mars, similarly, does not cause peace and love, but rather remains author of war and bloodshed.

[Vandheer]

Missed me talking about Initiation Into Hermetics?

Despite everything weighing on me right now I am still gaining my momentum back. Can’t help myself. Oh no, whatever do I do now?

Initiation Into Hermetics is a misleading name. The original title was in German. Der Weg zum Wahren Adepten. Which my barely A1 ass can translate as The Way of True Adept. Someone who wants to learn hermetic view of world should start with Corpus Hermeticum. Rest, well, figuring out is the fun part.

Like I told, aside from the additional practice, I will retrain on Initiation Into Hermetics. Isn’t mastering basics everything?

How about I be a good student for once and this time read it from the start? Well. This brings me to the first tarot card of Franz Bardon. Which, interestingly, not the fool, but the magician.

Alright, let’s dissect this.

The moon and sun. Aha, real funny coincidence. I am guessing this is represting polarity. The Kybalion fans are getting a hard on right now. Can put anything here. Yin and yang, feminine and masculine, passive and active. Don’t believe me? Take a look at a little below.

Those rays are definitely elements. The left side are the passive elements. Earth and water. The right side are the active elements. Fire and air. Akasha is on the middle, being purple. Interesting Bardon used the concept of Akasha instead of Ether. But then again, he also used the concept of Ether. I think this time I will truly figure it out.

Let’s look below that. There is an elephant, 3 people, a tree, and a mountain. If I learned anything from theosophy (and Heaven’s Gate, which Marshall Applewhite did study Theosophy, lmfao) this should symbolize the kingdoms. Animal kingdom, plant kingdom, human kingdom, and mineral kingdom.

Again, take a notice how the female is on the left, and the male is on the right. The double gendered person is right below the akasha, and between the two. This person has no color, compared to female and male, who has colors on their head and genitals, blue being magnetic force and red being electric force. So, this person is representing the electromagnetic force. Maybe we could say Tao. Since electric force is clearly yang and the other one is yin.

Earth must be either representing the macrocosm, which would suit with the guy above if he is representing microcosm, or this is Zone Girdling Earth. Aum, if this is Om, which I think is the word Brahma used to create everything, would mean for me, that the sphere would represent the manifest, and aum itself is the potential/unmanifest. Cosmos and Theos? Dunno. For the end, I will lazily assume that the lotus represents illumination, knowledge, and attainment. Knowledge and attainment, hm. Could this be related to our personal genius? I think I am overreaching here. I will just stop right here.

Thats all, folks.

TARKAN - Ölürüm Sana

[Dankquanicus]

@Vandheer

The moon and sun. Aha, real funny coincidence . I am guessing this is represting polarity. The Kybalion fans are getting a hard on right now. Can put anything here. Yin and yang, feminine and masculine, passive and active. Don’t believe me? Take a look at a little below.

Interestingly, now we see the Sun and the Moon as being opposites, but in truth their work is the same (and that last bit is a quote). Their Signs are next to each other, representing this. They are the two luminaries, they are both rulers, both always proceeding from East to West, and they regulate life. Ptolemy (2nd Century AD astrologer) says in his Tetrabiblos “The Sun, always acting in connection with the Ambient, contributes to the regulation of all earthly things: not only by the revolution of the seasons does he bring to perfection the embryo of animals, the buds of plants, the spring of waters, the alteration of bodies, but by his daily progress also he operates other changes in light, heat, moisture, dryness and cold; dependant upon his situation with regard to the zenith.
The Moon, being of all the heavenly bodies the nearest to the Earth, also dispenses much influence; and things animate and inanimate sympathize and vary with her. By the changes of her illumination, rivers swell and are reduced; the tides of the sea are ruled by her risings and settings; and plants and animals are expanded or collapsed, if not entirely at least partially, as she waxes and wanes” (Claudius Ptolemy, Tetrabiblos Chapter II, Page 3-4, JM Ashmand Translation, published by Davis and Dickson.)

The Sun and the Moon have the same workings, and Christopher Cattan says the Moon is like the Sun’s Standard Carrier (The Geomancie of Christopher Cattan, Book I, Page 18. A bit odd to quote a book on Geomancy now but it came to mind).
On the Tarot Card, the author may have made it so that the Sun and the Moon are opposites, but they are more of the same. Just as one must look to the Sun when planting plants (observing the season) as when he is strong, most plants grow strongly and grow further than at other times, and when he is weak, then plants are limited in how far they can grow, or of they can grow at all. Similarly, the Moon has the same effect (although, through spritual sympathy) on plants from the Phase, Sign and Mansion she is in as well as the aspects she makes.

[Vandheer]

I was reading Bardons own commentary and yes he used the duo as polar opposites. Now don’t take it as I am trying to one up you or something. You are raising points I don’t know of time and time again, clearly having knowledge of the ascending order.

If I botch your explanations, blame society and me not sleeping at the moment. I may come out sounding stupid. Now with that being said.

@Dankquanicus

but in truth their work is the same

Probably you will die inside reading this, so do I, because I do detest Kaballah. But I can see Yesod reflecting Tiphareth and rather than being opposites they may be same/similar.

@Dankquanicus

Their Signs are next to each other, representing this.

Like this I guess? And by luminiaries you mean they shed light/shine?

Honest confession, I don’t even know the names of many of zodiac let alone their symbols. But I do guess this is what you meant by symbols beaing next to each other.

Okay its pretty funny indeed that you quoted a source about Geomancy in this. Another confession which is unrelated, but since you know of Geomancy I will say it anyways: I started reading Skinners book about it and stopped right in the practice part. I am . I have no source of getting info from future or now, other than my intuition and logic. Which of course can fall.

Thanks for dropping by again mate. You always come with good info.

[Dankquanicus]

@Vandheer

I was reading Bardons own commentary and yes he used the duo as polar opposites. Now don’t take it as I am trying to one up you or something. You are raising points I don’t know of time and time again, clearly having knowledge of the ascending order.

Oh don’t worry, even if a discussion goes into that line of argument, it’s best to seek understanding rather than to dominate. But, I suspect you are also of the nature of Mars, as am I, in which case our love is to dominate.

And I appreciate the compliment! Although I don’t have as much knowledge as it might seem. There is still much I am yet to study, but I suppose that never ends!

@Vandheer

Probably you will die inside reading this, so do I, because I do detest Kaballah. But I can see Yesod reflecting Tiphareth and rather than being opposites they may be same/similar.

Actually, when I wrote that post, that came to my mind. I thought that is likely the reason why the Kabbalists placed The Sun on Tiphareph and The Moon on Yesod below it, and how in that way they don’t necessarily have an opposite. My knowledge of Kabbalah is very limited, but that is at least (seeingly) true with traditional astrology, as The Sun points to The One as John Heydon writes in Book I of Theomagia, and I believe you will remember in the Corpus Hermeticum Hermes says the same. There is not necessarily anything opposite to The One, except for perhaps the void, nothing, but to the Ancient Greeks and those in the Platonic tradition (as far as I’m aware), there is no such thing as void, no such thing as empty space, when the limit of the universe is reached, there is nothing beyond or outside of it. And so, Ptolemy says “The Power of the Sun however predominates, because it is more generally distributed; the others [as in, the other planets and stars] either co-operate with his power or diminish its effect” (Tetrabiblos, Book I, Page 4, JM Ashmand Translation published by Davis and Dickson)

@Vandheer

Like this I guess? And by luminiaries you mean they shed light/shine?

Yes, that image includes Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto, but you will see 5 of the 7 traditional planets each rule 2 Signs, while the Sun and Moon each rule only 1 Sign. The Moon rules Cancer, and the Sun rules Leo, they are next to each other. Opposite their Signs are Capricorn and Aquarius, both ruled by Saturn, which you might say comes close to being as an opposite to them (in a philosophical sense).
And I’m not sure what the traditional definition of luminary is, but traditionally the Sun and the Moon are called the luminaries. They both seem to significantly illuminate the Earth, so I am guessing that is why.

@Vandheer

Another confession which is unrelated, but since you know of Geomancy I will say it anyways: I started reading Skinners book about it and stopped right in the practice part. I am . I have no source of getting info from future or now, other than my intuition and logic. Which of course can fall.

I’ve actually never read Skinner’s book on it but there is a well known Geomancer who recommends it highly. Geomancy is a very useful divinatory skill to have, and is traditionally called the Sister of Astrology, so it is actually a good introduction to astrology. I intitially leart it from John Michael Greer’s “Earth Divination”, but I highly recommend his other book on it called “The Art and Practice of Geomancy”.

@Vandheer

Thanks for dropping by again mate. You always come with good info.

Of course! And I’m glad if it can be helpful. It is nice to talk of these things (with someone who can take it in understanding)

[Vandheer]

@Dankquanicus

The Sun points to The One as

So you are also of the of the opinion that the sun represents this thing that is how do I say, fabric of everything? Like Ginnungagap, or Tao.

@Dankquanicus

I intitially leart it from John Michael Greer’s “Earth Divination”, but I highly recommend his other book on it called “The Art and Practice of Geomancy”.

Noted. Saved this.

[Dankquanicus]

@Vandheer

So you are also of the of the opinion that the sun represents this thing that is how do I say, fabric of everything? Like Ginnungagap, or Tao.

Currently, after reading the appropriate parts of Tetrabiblos, as well as another text, and observing the works of the Sun, I do believe it points towards The One, or more fully than other things. However, I don’t necessarily believe that The One is a conciousness or spirit, like in later Christian Neoplatonism. Also, ‘The One’ is simply what it is called in Platonism/Neoplatonism. It is not simply the fabric of everything, but it is everything, and you can say everything is another phase of it.

[Vandheer]

Oh man. Emergency work.

Mom kept hidden from me that she had skin cancer for an awful long and I learned it like 30 hours ago, for fuck sake.

Me and someone even more talented than I am called on Raphael to make things go smooth. If you get surgery, get the best one in Cosmos, right? Apparently Metatron also dropped by. Archangels are doing some hard-pipe hitting work at the moment.

She is fine at least. Man, this year is wilder than my asshole, for real.

Raphael, Metatron, and Leviathan, I can not thank you 3 enough. Also, thank YOU.

[Vandheer]

Ra, the slayer of Apophis

I only called upon you 3 times in my three year long occult journey. Everytime I called upon you, my life changed by leaps and bounds. But I can not find a reason to call you more frequently than that.

Its as if I am directly staring into THE God. Timeless, boundless, beyond the concept of power. Hard to explain. What am I supposed to do but not freeze in awe when I feel not only a deities presence, but also aura of that presence? You start to feel safe. Ra clearly has seen it all. I do not do much more than go out and look at the sun in morning and give a sincere praise, these days. I know you do your thing behind the veil. One finger flick, the domino effect is clear.

My health, my school career, my occult power and knowledge, social life, love life, all came after you. You told me that you will provide me everything as long as I put effort. I can see what you mean. I will put even more.

One day I asked you: ‘What about Venus?’ ,when you were talking about how I am experiencing the planets in a microcosmic scale. You told me to be patient. I understand why now.

Truly, you are magnificent.

[Vandheer]

Okay, I have no idea what the fuck is going on. Am I just willing things out now, or what?

I am having a terrible day, emotional spectrum (all of them being ‘low’) all over the place. Its bluntly clear I will probably have to experience this for half a day more. Will it turn out better after? Really hope so.

Now how the fuck come I am more focused then ever (clearly hyperbole but I haven’t been this good at staying in now, for awful long)? I have been playing chess for like 6 hours non-stop, normally I would have to stop after 2. And I would never be able to even for 5 mintues, feeling this bad. Is it because I just said I was gonna take care of everything now? What is this state of flow and how do I stay in this? Hm. Feels like I am already training passively again in Initiation Into Hermetics. The focus part, at least. As if I am so molded by it, by this point it just turns itself on when I will to train on it.

This also makes me think if I am overworrying atm. I wonder if I can stay focused from now on. If the feeling will stick in my aura, I guess thats fine. I will try to make best of a bad scenario. And maybe this will turn out a way to do magick for me. Just embody an emotion, fuse it with your aura, but stay in concentration. Like eye of a storm. Could be used for sbundance, success, lust, anger which I already succeeded before with. We will see.

[Vandheer]

The Elizabethian Worldview is nearly finished. Should I just go balls deep with Agrippa or should I go with Hermetica now? Hm.

If I go with Hermetic text, I must have to start with The Kyb-, yea no, Corpus Hermeticum. So many translations are in it however. I need to find one that is closest in meaning to how it was meant to be. A proper translation, not one filtered with later beliefs.

Then, Asclepius, Stobaean excerpts, Oxford and Vienna fragments, so on…

Gonna have to pick wheat from chaff in this one.

deadmau5 - maths

[pauloncha]

@Vandheer

He touched my forehead and I guess he kinda cleansed my aura. Telling I am spiritually dirty. I guess I should do some LBRP and MP soon.

I guess LBRP refers to the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram but… what does MP mean? English isn’t my native language and sometimes I get lost in reading. Lastly, and most important of all, I love that you’re sharing your process with all of us. Best regards and keep it up!

[Vandheer]

Thank you very much! MP is Middle Pillar.

Here, you can check it out if you don’t know it

[pauloncha]

Thank you very much, I’ll check it out!

[Vandheer]

Getting confident a little now

My concentration is sky high. Its most possible I will just skip to elemental excersises since what the fuck am I supposed to do ? I can stay in void of mind as long as I wish. If there is a single excersise I mastered, its this one. Also, I am back on the stage of that non-ending capability of study. Hunger or tiredness barely effects me until bitter end. Let’s see how long this phase will last.

This time I have the advantage of confidence. I walked this road before. I know where the pitfalls are.

Speaking of concentration, remember I talked about this flow state. I may have discovered something here. I observed myself getting into it today, and I can say it feels like my mental body is getting loaded with either magnetic or electromagnetic fluid. In more known terms, yin and a combination/synthesis of yin and yang. That accumulations creates a ‘in the moment, at the moment of no-moment’. Really hard to explain, but I may have trigger this sequence manually now, I think.

All of exam results came up better than I expected. Ha.

I am seeing lots of things I didn’t see, or was unable to comprehend before. Give a week at most before I start practicing on full speed. At the moment, moon is a little distracting.

I should be starting watching documentaries about Komodo Dragons now. I should stimulate this perfectly on astral. This will be a good protecting servitor. Here, kitty kitty.

[Vandheer]

Alright. I finished "The Elizabethan World Picture” by E.M.W Tillyard. I definitely recommend it if you are stranger to the concept of order, this order is in everything, from minerals and rocks to heavenly spheres. I was no stranger to this concept ,thanks to Kaballah and a little peak at Theosophy. It strengthened my knowledge, still.

Also, oyster being the lowest and elephant/lion being highest (in land, eagle for air, forgot water, wwas it whale?) in animal hierarchy, hmmm I bet I will see a lot of symbolism related to this, now knowing about it. Bring it on. There are many hierarchies. This book can help.

Now, on to my weird rant. As a newbie you will most probably encounter Golden Dawn and the Cipher Manuscript, if you are checking out western occultism, moreso if Freemasonry and Hermetism. Even if they were not the most modern they certainly weren’t much traditional when it came to Hermetics. But back then, I did not know this. So I did study the cipher manuscript. Thats where I saw the Sephiroth. It had all of these planetary correspondences. Thats where I figured out this ‘heavenly order’. Mind you, I don’t know if its the truth. Its just the window I am looking at.

Right now, I think, that those planets made the Sephiroth more muddied. Even if it came with fuckton of new concepts. Back then, it still irked me to see there was nothing associated with Chokmah and Kether. Saturn is for Binah and there just is no more after ? Had to be something. Zodiac seemed natural instead of adding outer planets. That is very cringe, and nonsensical, imho. Although I don’t know jack about astrology, can’t shake the feeling off of the wrongness, when it comes to outer planes. So, Zodiac for Chokmah. What about Kether?

Parallel to this, I was reading the Eight Tractates, by Myatt. In there I saw the concept of acausal planes, and an Ogdoadic state of existence. Now wtf Ogdoad is I still don’t perfectly know. Apparently it does mean the 8 deities that existed before Ra. Which would tell me they are primordial. A primordial existence beyond Saturn isn’t that far fetched to me, but again, what about the last plane (7 causal, 2 acausal)? Thats where I met the concepts of Ennead, Primum Mobile, Prima Materia, Kursi and Arsh, list goes on. And it fit the narrative, finally.

But the influence was done enough to me that I needed to take away the Kabbalistic influence from the heavenly order. Now I am gonna stick with the planets + the zodiac + primum mobile.

Massive rant. Also, @Dankquanicus ,I appreciate the suggestion. Now you probably read the entire non-related rant with it, have a nice day.

Star Wars Legends Mega Suite - "The Dark Empire"

[Vandheer]

Feel my Silence’T.

Fuck me sideways, if this isn’t making me even more annoyed, I don’t know. If I am annoyed I grow more and more tho. Come on, annoy me Cosmos.

Damn it, I have to halt the creation of my servitor. Hang in there bud.

Alright. I am gonna be a hermetic student now. I have finally decided upon it. Its just calling me.

For the theory;

Hermetica by Brian Copenhaver, containing translations of the Corpus Hermeticum and the Perfect Sermon/Asclepius.

Hermetica II by M. David Litwa, containing translations of the Stobaean Fragments, Oxford Fragments, Vienna Fragments, and various other fragments and testimonia of Hermetic doctrine.

For the practice;

Picatrix and PGM. Wait what? PGM?!? Now I am intruged.

I will go to stars if needed. I will do whatever is neccesary. I growed in one month more than the reason could comprehend. Time can only tell if the circumstances change. I still know I haven’t reached my full potential. This is still not me, yet. Is it the journey that matters? Or is it the destination? May I never find out.

So my journey towards hermetic mysteries, and to stars, shall begin!