In my experience our interaction with the Spirit world is no different than with the human world. In our mundane human world we may be part of a close family and group of friends. When you need something, you will never need to ask any of your family or friends for help. When they see you need something they come running to offer and provide the help you need for your problem or situation.
From the tone of your questions it seems that you are relating to the Spirit world as though they were a room full of vending machines. You walk around the vending machine room looking at the descriptions and pictures on the front of the machines. If you want hot coffee and a ham sandwich you locate the machines with coffee and sandwiches, drop the required combination of coins, candles, chants, incense and sigils into the slot, pull the handle, and Presto! Out pops the object of your desire.
In my experience this is not the proper approach for working with the Spirits. Instead, you need to develop a relationship with the Spirits and Demons that can help you achieve the objectives you want. These Spirits are sentient, intelligent and powerful beyond our ability to understand. It is imperative to investigate their personalities and to spend time developing a relationship with them, same as you would with a new human friend. You should never be in a position of asking questions in a public forum like “What color of candles does Lilith prefer ?” When you know these Spirits and you have a working relationship with them then you work directly with each other for the things you wish to accomplish. They will be a continuous part of your life and ever present in your environment for any situation you need help with or for the goals that you envision.