have you ever heard of memory regression?
It’s one possible teachnique to get this fixed completely.
Get a safe spot where you feel comfortable
-like your meditation space or ritual space.
If you don’t have one of those the place where you read most often would be a good alternative,
if that’s not an option go with a comfy chair.
Go into a meditation like this:
You focus on your Navel,
becoming warmer and heavier,
and warmer and heavier.
While your head is becoming clear,
chilled and relaxed,
your navel becomes warmer and heavier,
so you can feel a little magma-sun inside of your navel,
that builds in energy and pressure,
making your body very deeply relaxed,
so it drifts away into deep sleep,
yet becoming warmer and heavier.
Your Head is now of Ice,
colder and clearer then it ever was.
Your Body is now of Fire,
Warmer, and sleepier then it ever was.
Now pass the small magma-sun down from your navel through your ovaries.
Pass your frozen memories through the top of your head out of you,
residing a few centimeters above your head.
Place the thoughts out of your head in front of you.
Place the Emotions out of your belly underneath them,
in front of you.
Now drift a feew steps back from them.
So you gain overview.
See a warm, happy sunny day with your Boyfriend, where you’re happy about him having had a beautiful night with you, and you are happy about having expierienced him inside you without any discomfort, but pure joy and pleasure.
relax viewing your future self there, and taking that newly created memory, you place it in a small place inside your body, where you know it feels right to be there.
From now on, you know where you stored this specific point in your own lifetime, and you can access it by tapping onto that point and letting that memory flow back into you.
Now you look at the place 3 meters below your self, under the earth.
You find yourself in your past, in the situation, with that guy taking advantage of you.
You feel the sensation of wanting to step in, and do something about it.
You want to get away from it, yet you calmly reside where you are.
You look exactly at your younger self, and go into her, while keeping your place in the shadows.
first, you ease her pain, and ground her into the clear and sheer unbelievable trouth:
She’s not alone in this suffering.
You ARE with her, right now, right there and then!
You surround her, and fill her with this tranquil safeguard,
making your younger self protected from the impact of what’s happening,
like you would protect your child.
You start telling her what she can do to get out of that situation, and empowering her to overcome the attacker.
You watch as the situation changes and you expierience seeing yourself something which wasn’t in your memory until now:
Your younger self takes courage and fights back.
Get’s him off of you.
Not stoping there.
Knowing that she has just taken courage into her own hands.
Knowing that no one will ever be able to judge her on what happens now.
Taking advantage of him!
Starting to hurt him,
scratching his skin,
ripping out his belly and his eggs and penis,
so he will never have any sex, forced or wished,
so he may never re-create and be forgotten out of all time.
Ripping open his chest,
biting a mouthful of of his heart and spitting it into his face.
Finally, cutting off his arms, and cutting from that arms his hands,
so he may never grab anything anymore.
He has lost any right to touch at all.
You step on these parts of him,
laying under your feet and cut of his head.
you poor out of his head his eyes and squash then under your feet.
He may never look at you again, and will never see you.
Now you see all that darkness and vile justified wrath drifting away from you.
Becoming calm again.
There’s new strength, where once was fear.
There’s Certainty, that this can, and will, never happen again.
There’s safety, in knowing to be able to defend yourself and knowing you aren’t alone even in the most isolated nightmare.
Now you go to a river.
You wash all of the unwanted memories away.
What keeps left, is what you desire to be strengthening you,
and as the darkness became shimmering gold, you feel calm and safe.
You could go on and have a beatiful expierience with your boyfriend now.
But since you feel so relaxed again, and strengthened by your new empowerment,
you watch yourself play hide and seek,
and having a beautiful expierience no longer being scared in any traps
- as you can break free from them now.
Take a last glimpse at you playing with your boyfriends son,
and come back into your currrent body, which was meditating and creating this new lines of reality for yourself.
Which fell into a deep trance, and left the room you’re in, back and away,
There you come out of it, floating on the expierience, being very truthful and clear:
This has been overcome, by now!
Thankfully you look at yourself, being grateful for having helped you out.
You thank the Orishas and LOA, who guided you to learning this.
You thank your boyfriend for being understanding and respectful,
as well as patient.
You thank yourself,
for knowing, by now,
that you can overcome any obstacle you may encounter,
as you’ve overcame yourself allready.
End of Ritual.
Well, after that you can actually talk to those close around you about the expierience, if you want to do that.
Or you keep the alteration inside of you, and watch how the world around you starts to change, as you notice the new truth drippeling down into reality, as you just created it.