I feel like I want to die and go into another life rn. I made up with my pacts with the Daemons I made. I’m still working and putting in almost 300 dollars a week to my grandmother saving up for me to move out and with all the spritual help and whatever the Daemon,Spirits,Or univese can give me I still feel like theres a cold hot boulder in my chest. My cousin;… I knew since I was a little child with my autisim still showing ALOT and he accepted and taught me how to chill my nerves and religion was lie a little, got locked up like 2 months ago.And ever since then, my family got colder ever since 2x harder. Even before since my great grandad died in front of me way before this when I was 7,shits been screwed since I’ve attempted suicide 4 times,With like 16 slit’s on my wrist. And especially when my great grandmother died infront of me when 2 years ago and some of my familias too ,before I actually tapped into the spritual realm deep a month later. I still get hell and taxed no matter how hard I work 9 to 5,be good to my friend’s and the communinty and treat my elder’s with gratitude. The only time I curse or send bad energy or EVEN do bad things to people is if they put me at a disposition in life or pose a serios threat to me or hurt multiple people including me. But I’m still unappreciated by %78 EVERYONE I know including my own grandparet’s I live with and it’s been going for so long since 7 I don’t how long I can cope no matter what I say or do and I need help. It hurt’s it feels like I’m heavy sinking in the earth. Please someone tell me how I fix this or should I just let this go. Or I just let it affect me and I fade away slowley into a different lifetime? Or should I do it? I need to know before I go on…
Life is definitely worth while my friend no matter how prepaired you think you are for the spirit realm do you truelly believe you’ve ascended enough to be happy there from what I’ve gathered it harder to grow your spirit once you’ve moved on. I have no clue what your disability puts you throu but believe me I’ve been through it to I never tried to actually kill myself but used to cry and scream please just kill my allready to my tormenters useing technology to make me see hear and feel like I was being molested slash raped I also did a little bit of time mine was or something I didn’t do. No matter what you feel life is still worth while think about never enjoying the taste of food again until you earn the favor of some mortal and become strong enough to accept there favor which a human almost never does. You need to do some meditation and re programming of your self make a giant list of overything that’s wrong that you can co tell then make a list of everything wrong you seemi fly can’t co tell once you have these list made go over ever line and write a new on saying I am no longer letting depression affect me, I am no longer allowing the negativity of other to affect me I program my aura to reflect there negativity back at them. Do this for everything you you can think of that wrong write how you are changing just don’t use the word I will youR subconscious and unconscious mind oesnt process this word into fruition. Evoke all of your demon family befor lighting a black and a white candle stare into the flames as you declare these changes in you and others that effect you when your finally done reading the list of all the good changes your going to make light the list of negative things with the white candle let it purify them as it renders them no more then let the flame finish in a bowl the. Light the positive list on fire with the black flame allowing the power of your will and desire to become manifested into power within the world and within you your demon family will help you then let the positive paper finish burning in a seperate bowl. Then say a few words or empower yourself and the effect of your spell and give thanks to all the spirits from both the light and the dark that are acting on your behalf to make your desire manafest and your will be your reality then blow out both candles burry the ashes from the negative list and either scatter the ashes from the positive list Ina pleasent place or use them as a body wash absorbing all lingering power of the positive effect your will and desire has given life to. This should have an almost instant effect from the basic programming of just saying all the changes your making and that are happening I’d you wanted something to change say this is changing don’t say it’s going to change say it is changing and then you have the effect of the spell it’s a mix I just sorta put together for you atm using the basic LHP black candle spell and a white candle for the added power of purification of negativity and ability to just accept the changes you are making in your life. I promise you if you do this you’ll see things change in your life you don’t like that your grandparents are looking down on you write that my grandparents now treat my with respect and kindness your using the left hand power of anything with results while leaving the Divine doorway open for them to be able to help you with your intentions I know they are watching over you too and are saddened by the way you percieve your life and the hardships your going through they will help persuade anyone who has Divine pertection to also allighn to your will and desires while the darkness is using it’s powers to make sure this is becomeing your new reality I suggest offering a shot to each of your family members befor the ritual once you complete the spell go do something mundane allow your mind to rest and focus on the normal it helps seal your intent and prevent doubt from effecting your work. I’d recommend doing a cleansing befor the summo I g all of your demonic family. I hope this is somthing that calls to you because with concern and respect I write this I ont want the world to lose the love your produce and us all have to live in a world without your presence.
I’ll just get right into it. Suicidality is most often a result of narrowed and constricted perception. There is the belief that the only option to relieve the suffering you feel is to end your life. It feels like death is the only way to escape the pain.
Let me first tell you that this is not true, no matter what your circumstances, no matter what you may think. There is always a way. There is a way for you to get into a better situation where you can be happy and fulfilled with your life.
I won’t tell you that all the pain will magically go away. It’s never that easy, but neither does it have to feel like an endless struggle. You can learn to find peace, just like you learn anything else. It will take some time, but it can be done.
There are professionals with years of training that can help you. Psychologists spend four years in college, six years in grad school, and a couple more years in residency after that learning how to get people in your situation back on their feet. It is what they do, and they do it very well. I know not everyone can afford psychotherapy though, so I’m going to list a few concrete steps that you can take. None of these are quick, immediate solutions because there is no such thing, but together they can combine to improve your life. I’m going to tag @Lady_Eva because she has links to other resources.
- Talk to a friend or other trusted companion about how you feel
- Spend time with people you enjoy being around and who make you feel good
- Exercise every day, even if it’s just a walk or a little yoga
- Eat food that makes you feel good
- Actively engage with a hobby that you enjoy (you can do this with friends too). Play some games, play a sport, make a painting, read a story, listen to music, play some music (you’ll notice I keep saying to play), anything that gets you out of your head and into the moment. It can be anything, and variety is often the spice of life.
- If you don’t feel like doing something you want to do, sit and do nothing (no phone, no tv, no computer, no talking, absolutely nothing) until you feel like doing the thing would be better than nothing
- Write in a journal every day about how you feel. There is no wrong way to do this, and sometimes it may feel bad to do it, but it will help get the thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto the page.
I will first say that magick alone is not going to immediately fix all your problems, but I am of the belief that it has the very real power to help you work through things like this. It has helped me through some very, very dark times, and I genuinely believe that it can work for you too. My suggestion is to work through the book Success Magick by Damon Brand. All you have to do is read the (relatively short) little book and follow the instructions, which are very simple and easy.
It will require you to make a commitment to the process, which itself will do more good for you than you may think, and the very first ritual will help you begin to see the beautiful potential that you genuinely do have. It will help you to see all that you can experience in life, and all that you can give to the world. It will take you on a journey from sadness, confusion, and despair to a place where you are constantly growing, thriving, and giving to the world, and where the world is giving back to you in return.
All it takes is 5 minutes a day. That’s it. With just 5 minutes a day, you can change your life forever.
I used to be suicidal. I still dontt have an easy life, but ive learned to cope. I would say that music and magic has saved me, with music its because me creating it is an outlet to let out my feelings. With magic, it helped me connect to that “other side” i wanted to live in. I realized i still have access to the spirit world without having to die and go there. Plus a spirit thats now my spirit husband would talk me out of killing myself and showed me more love than any other guy had ever given me.
I used to be a cutter too. Ive got some scars myself. Every night i would sit crying wishing things would change. I live with my parents still and we have a lot of money difficulties along with many other things. Through all that i felt there was no way out except death. But thats not a good option. Life always changes even when it feels the same. No matter what there is always good moments and bad moments.
The physical body tries hard to stay alive even when you want to die. There is a reason for that. We are all here incarnated for a reason. A lot of us as spirits have chosen to reincarnate into our current bodies, including me. We all have a purpose no matter what. Even if its forgotten, that purpose is still there. Just put your hand onto your chest and feel that purpose beating inside you.
The shithole world we live in is a world of polarizing duality , the more you suffer is to evolve your consciousness ,
Word of advice… Work really hard on your manipura solar plexus chakra and your mooladhara