So for the passed month or so I’ve been getting familiar with what I believe to be Lilith. I remember just calling out to see if I could reach her just to talk about personal matters. She asked me to stay in contact with her and that she would like to speak to me more often. Remember, I performed no ritual, just thought of her and spoke her name. Of course being the idiot that I am I forgot about her and her request. What felt like a month or so went by and one night I received visions of a shadowy inhumanly tall woman consumed by darkness. Normally my response would be of fear, yet I was consumed with a surge of pure lust. The more of these images I saw, the hornier I got. Not being able to bear this feeling much longer, I decided to masturbate to rid myself of the feeling but just as I got started the name “Lilith”, popped into my head. Her presence was around me and I just let her have sex with me. I was too consumed with lust to think straight or care very much. The following days left me confused wondering why would Lilith approach me that way. We spoke very often and her presence was simply calming, peaceful and genuinely made it easy to open up to her rather quickly. After that first night, I became obsessed with her, only wanting to be embraced in her arms. The thought of being away from Lilith only felt saddening. To show my affection and care for her, I performed a simple ritual praising her. It was around this she also performed a ‘surgery’ which frightened me because there was a bunch of shit going passed my organs reaching my spine. This prompted my body to become defensive and freak out. Lilith kept telling me to remain calm and not bolt running out of my room. So i remained as calm as I could. Afterwards my body felt like a limp noodle. I walked slow and felt like a patient in the hospital. She as well as my other spirits told me to NOT push my body too hard or i’d cause major damage to myself and that several symptoms would occur in the coming. These where as I could describe as; sensitive to temperature, hypersensitive to sounds, clearer communication with spirits telepathically, being able to feel spirits solidly, hearing voices or my name being called, seeing things in the corner of my eyes briefly, white small lights flying passed me and a brief couple of days of feeling alien in my own human body. The following day I felt awful, bad enough to think I had a bad fever. They said not push too much physical but my job requires me to do that sometimes. I received a clear image of a black snake with yellow eyes going from my stomach up my spine and out of my back. I was told protective sigils and Lilith’s mark where on my body. My third eye and crown chakras where being tocued and vibrated a lot. almost like they where trying to do something. The sigil is apparently on my chest.Being in me, I panicked and firmly believed some parasite or evil entity was making a nest in my body. So, I tried burning it out of my body, several times with fire. Black fire, white fire, as well as cleansing myself and making a shield around myself to prevent any attacks. Nothing, it was still there. I don’t see it anymore but my back feels very sensitive to touch, even by my own hand. Oddly enough I always felt like someone was watching me. A male presence soon began following me around. This only made my situation worse, and my spirits where on Lilith side saying to me to keep pushing passed all this. Of course with all the clear suspicions to not believe any of this shit, I began to doubt and try to push myself away from them. I also did a banishing ritual and used white sage on my room, cloths and my surrounding area. Now today I said fuck it and decided to ask the entity following me to work and home to state his name, who he is and why he’s following me. He’s apparently a demon named Kal who was ordered by Lilith to keep an eye on me, to guide and protect me, he can’t harm me or he’ll be killed by Lilith. He’s also been told to not get involved into my personal life with me, my spirits or any situation pertaining to me and Lilith. Only a watcher and protector. His presence can be a tad bit intimidating but not consuming with fear, he speaks in a raspy low voice, and mainly looks like a typical demon but his eyes are an orange glow with no pupils. Of course I’m still skeptical of all of this. Hanging on the fence. Lilith has been oddly helpful, pushing me to study the occult more, learn more about magick and enjoys being close to me. She’s quite something, motherly but sometimes a bit scary to piss off. I feel so drawn to her. She’s been nudging me to come here and study Evocation. She sends me messages that my instincts tell me to follow and they lead me somewhere and have led me to progress. I just meditated on her sigil, spoke her enn and saw it change into an upside down cross with a moon crescent but it had a filled circle on the tip of the cross. I also got an intense urge to draw an image of her on paper and let my hand just flow and draw what felt right. She also said to use the new sigil I saw to evoke her, since my first evocation of her did summon a shadowy female entity but my request for her to move an object didn’t work. I did rush into it and did a sloppy job and messed up the steps badly. So this could have been why. The following night I dreamt of a man approaching me smiling which I believe was Kal who said to jangum on a sigil for better results, upon searching the word, it meant to jerk off. So he was saying to sexually charge a sigil. So please, can anyone please tell me if this is legit or not, I’m honestly losing my damn mind over this. It’s consuming my thoughts like crazy and even Lilith herself told me to go on here and confirm that my fears are not true. Can someone please, help? Apologies for the long post but I really want answers from someone other than me who’s worked with Lilith. If anyone likes, I have the sketch of what I saw her as, she takes on a lot of forms, some scary but felt compelled to draw this one. Thank you for your time!
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Sounds about right. Lilith is very gentle when She wants to be. To be honest, She broke me down utterly when I first established contact with Her. That being said, I needed it to grow at the time. Don’t worry, She will take good care of you, She is a flawless master of healing and empowering people. I suggest offering some wine and roses, let Her know you appreciate Her and so forth.
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Thank you, I bought some dragon’s blood incense for her and plan to buy her a statue. Yes, she’s very motherly and supportive.
Lol.it sounds like her! Don’t be worrying to much, she looks after her own. I’d be more worried about those who try and disrespect you! X