The past is what it is, but it doesn’t have to control your future. I destroyed myself with magick, and I have gradually changed into a much better version of myself. To be perfectly clear, I did not engage in self-harm. I did magick to make myself extremely malleable to change, and then directed more magick at changing myself into a person that I enjoy being.
I don’t generally recommend that people do this, but I understand where the desire comes from. If you hate yourself enough to want to destroy yourself, you can put that energy to use in a positive and beneficial way. If all you do is blow yourself up and then wallow in your own misery things won’t work out very well, but if you commit to rebuilding yourself from the ashes and to living your best life, this can work spectacularly.
I did it in this lifetime, i think its kind.of basic prodecure…
You just have to communicate with your own high being and creator, about locking your past existences, so no one cannot claim anything about your past… i.e clinge on some past life depts and karma shit, its against creator laws, to interfere, your time and space with things that are unproveable.
God will understand, everyone is not with him, or do abide his laws.
It’s not only the mental hospital… i am 30 and i was always a pathetic person, loser, not using my intellignce and instead made the worst decisions and let others abuse me and step on me. I wanna kill this person with magic and be reborn
Just gonna give my two cents here. Look, you cannot and will never be able to erase the events that occurred in your past. What you can do is make your present and future better. Your life is hell right now because your letting your past control you. Like a slave.
You can always break free from it. Introduce good things into your life, find a hobby, a mate, friends, whatever that makes you smile and gives you motivation to get out of bed in the morning.
I have done terrible things in my past. I have also went through terrible things. I took the wisdom I gained from those events that affected me. The ones that traumatized me. I made lemonade from lemons so to speak . and the things I did to other people? I got over it. I realized that I’m not that same person who did those things anymore.
I’m a new person because of it. And my life is improving. Have faith in yourself, stop trying to run away from your past. Embrace it.
This would only be possible by shadow work. It’s not easy to turn yourself into a butterfly and it’s a very messy process.
“in order to be able to become a butterfly , the caterpillar has to fall apart completely, decompose down to its very essence, devoid of any shape or consciousness. It literally dies. There is nothing left of it. And from this liquid essence, the butterfly starts to put itself together, from scratch.”
Accepting that you allowed others to step on you and overall be a person you’re not happy with, is the first step to kill that old image of yours you hate so much.
Instead of wasting every single day of your life thinking about your mother, the institute, your grandfather and all the mistakes you did because of this, channel this energy into a new passion. Something that will make you a better person.
Meditate, open your heart space, forgive yourself first of all, even if you can’t forgive everyone else, in order to move on. Concentrate in every single of your chakra from root to crown and forgive each one of them for every single issue they caused to you, because of you. What others did to us, is not an excuse to do things and be someone we’re not proud of. You’re just repeating old patterns. If you don’t like who you are, then change it. Here and now.
No! Without the memories, one cannot remember the lessons learned.
Everyone wants the easy way out, there is no easy way out. You erase memories, you lose part of yourself and the essence of who you are. I know way to much about this and I had memories ripped away. It’s not worth it.
The best and sane advice came from @Anassa. Though, I still think Shadow Work has to be involved, the advice is on point.
It has to, eventually, but Shadow work goes a bit too deep, he might face things he’s not capable yet to face and that might break him even further. Healing is a priority right now, following from a Soul Retrieval.
. and the things I did to other people? I got over it. I realized that I’m not that same person who did those things anymore.
