Building a relationship with a spirit

Hi there,
I’m reading a lot on this forum about people building relationships with spirits. Why do you do it as opposed to going to the specific spirit based on their skills? How do you chose one out of so many?

Why people build relationships? They tend to make workings with the spirit(s) more intense and thus more effective, also the relationship can help strenghten your will, character and can put you on a path that will help you in many more ways than just calling on a spirit to help you find a job or something. Having a closer relationship with a spirit attunes you to their power in much deeper ways. Also, there’s the mutual attraction or let’s say, compatibility, sometimes due to past life or some kind of “spiritual DNA” connections, if you want to call it that. I guess the reasons why people form relationships with spirits are as varied as their stories and personalities.

How you choose a spirit depends on what your goals are, what kind of relationship you’re looking for – mentor, teacher, friend, etc. And also, what type of current you’re drawn to. Do you feel an attraction to a certain pantheon? Or are you drawn to the spirits/ a certain spirit mentioned in the Goetia for some reason (you needn’t necessarily be able to explain why)? Or an angel maybe? If you can at least exclude certain areas and feel that they don’t resonate with you at all, that would already narrow it down a bit. Other than that, there’s often some kind of attraction to a certain spirit or at least a general direction, like Norse Gods or whatever. Specific spirits can also speak to you in different ways, like synchronicities (although you have to make sure it’s not just you reading too much into things, sometimes a coincidence really isn’t that significant and people see meaning where there is none). They can also come to you in dreams, or their name won’t leave your head for some reason. Getting an idea of different magical systems and practices might also help you kind of zoom into an area that may resonate with you.


Different approaches for different purposes. You can work with an entity to solve a specific problem and then you want the skills-based approach. You can also work with a spirit over an extended period or for life, which is more about developing that entities attributes within yourself.

A bit like the difference between hiring a consultant and making a long term freind and confidante.
And then there’s doing a pathworking which is sort of in between.

I think most people do both at the same time, and it’s optional to work with just one.

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To be honest the scope of entities most people know on this forum isn’t so many 72 goetia, the well known angels, etc. in a small scope yeah that can seem like a lot but there’s many not so well known that not many look into that could do “more”.

I prefer to build relationships because something business is fine but a strong bond can last life times and this life is only temporary.


I’m with @anon48079295 on this one. The scope of the forums experience tends to be limited, and those of us working outside of it paradigm tend to just be kinda quiet about- there isn’t much response to anything not related to demons and angels.

Honestly I started building relationships with spirits … sorta by accident. I really only meant to debunk some of the common misconceptions and see for myself how things really worked within the currents I’m operating with. You could say I fell down the rabbit hole.

These other sprits however, work quite a bit differently and it has been their approach that changed mine.

I still summon up stuff and send things off on tasks…but never without backing it up with my own workings now and rarely on the same manner I see most on here use.


I’ve build relationships with the ones that vibe better with me (so like 2, max 3 spirits lol) rest is only temporary for business.


I think it comes down to who you feel drawn too. I initially started working with Lilith then moved into overlapping gatekeepers path working so far with Lucifer and Belial mostly. King Paimon has started showing up so I need to figure out what that’s all about.

If you have a specific goal in mind, then working with particular spirits is better like I’d work with Bune or Clauneck for money and prosperity or Sitri for love magic.


Thank you so much everyone for your replies, I understand now.
How then one would go about it.

1)If for example, there’s a spirit who has skills that I would need to “use” several times, is it by summoning it with requests time after time that you develop a relationship? Just like when you work with a person, it just happens naturally?

  1. If there’s another spirit that I’d like as a mentor, then I evoke it and ask straight away if it would accept being your mentor? And then, it actually take the initiative and leads (as mentors do) the relationship?
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do you mean that for the same task you ask a spirit and do the spell in the same direction? I like folk magic, but when I discovered Gallery of magick books where angels/demons cover most mondain issues that one would want to solve, I wondered if there’s any use in doing your own spells and felt a sad about it…

Yes and no. I do a lot of energy work as well. Sometimes I do a traditional spell along with its but pretty much no matter what I take time to focus and send energy in the direction I’m working to aid and direct the process.

I guess it’s a little complicated if your not accustomed to my methods, but in my experience, it makes the difference between successful outcomes and not.

I also understand many many people are successful and never touch energy work in the way I do- it is just something that works extremely well for me.

If I do a traditional spell along with my work- I do it while I’m working with the being or just after. I prep before I summon and gather everything I need prior to starting.(sometimes I forget something and I’m like… brb essentially still though)

I’m complicated lmao.

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Yes, I think even with demons and angels, the more you work with a particular being the stronger the relationship becomes, the more you understand how they operate and what they do. It’s very much like meeting someone at work, or making a new friend. The more time you spend together the more you know and the closer you become. The safer you feel with them, the more you trust etc.

As far as two goes, yes you can do it that way. You can straight out ask if they willing to guide and direct you, and if you have specific things you hope they can teach, ask about it.

A lot of times when I’ve done this, life circumstances happen right after and I got what I was looking for from the experience. It doesn’t usually come across in conversation- it usually comes as an experience of some sort.

The beings I work with now, have a tendency to show up every few days- almost like a check in. They often just interject into life in a funny way, or seem to be observing how I’m handling things. It took a few months before I was comfortable with the randomness, but I’ve found they usually have a reason and it’s usually to my benefit to pay attention.

I’ve not had demons or angels do this, it seems to be more specific to the beings I work with, but it has lead to a lot of growth for myself. My understanding is demons and angels will do similar things when you become closer, but I’ve yet to experience it that way.

I haven’t really met a demon or angel that seemed interested in being a constant in my life, but I don’t think that means everyone will find this to be true, clearly a lot of people on these forums have close relationships with these types of beings so it’s quite doable- just not my cup of tea maybe?

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