Bliss’s Contacts and Candle Rambling

[Bliss]

After working a shift on Father’s Day, I gotta tell you going straight into meditation is not easy😕

Tuning out took me some time but I got there eventually.
I meditated around 40-50 minutes.
Switched my audios half way through, so I don’t have an exact number.

First major thing was a very strong and vibrant vibration. I think this was my transition into Alpha, head dropping, getting very sleepy, and swaying back a little bit. I felt sensations all over my body.

Second was the transition into Trance. I followed the countdown visualization technique and after I got through my count from 12, I instantly felt heavy in the head.
To get ready for my aura visualization at the same time, I was simultaneously breathing in and out from my lower dantian.

I would mentally say “Qi” and breathe in imagining that a blue strip of energy was entering and flowing down to my stomach and swirling at that lower dantian point, and as I exhaled, I imagined it flowing out.
After every inhale, I’d visualize the number I was at and exhale after it faded.

Regarding the aura visualization:

I raised my left hand and imagined a ball swirling around in my palm. The first thing I did was attempt to control the pace and direction of spin it had.
Then I tried to focus it directly in my palm, and spin it from there and into my fingertips, and back down.

Then I slowly entered my right pointer finger into the space of my hand, and I could feel the resistance caused by the ball of energy.
I tried pulling it down to my wrist, and the farther I went the more resistance I felt in my finger.

I didn’t physically see anything but so be it, I don’t see anything ever😛

Last big point:

My hands were all torn up from work, so I recited the enn of Buer while I was still in that trance state.
I held my hands out, recited his Enn 3 times, and then imagined I was pulling him into my room as if I opened a portal.
I asked him to heal my hands, and I felt energy dance all over them. In between my fingers and all around.
He mentally asked me to press my hands together so I did. At this time it felt like I was holding massive weights in my hand so I was combining it from what I remember.
Afterwards, I departed and banished.

[Bliss]

I have been on a little bit of a detox from social activity so I haven’t been super active but I’m not going anywhere I love this forum too much.

The only major thing that has happened lately is my evocation for Andras.
My closest friend was unknowingly assaulted by her ex boyfriend until I pointed it straight in her face that the things she was telling me about was exactly that.
So, fast forward, I’m teaching her about this double life o’ mine, and I’ve offered to curse him to which she happily accepted.

My initial instinct was Glasya-Labolas, but we both agreed he deserved the worst fate possible. So naturally, I decided on Andras instead. Still love Glasya though <3

I decided to go as far as I could with this one. The most focus and the most energy I could have put into it. I taught her how to reach the Alpha stage of consciousness and for her to do her best to imagine we were sitting at a table across from each other while she channeled all of her negative emotions towards him straight at my center dantian.
I followed the countdown trance method after about 5 minutes of meditation.
I also repeated my my prior-method of reciting “Qi” mentally while I did the countdown however excluding focusing energy into my lower dantian. Instead, I vaguely imagined that the energy was flowing through all 3.

Once I finished the countdown, I felt like I was in a dream almost. Like remembering it now is like I was looking at it through a dream that I was conscious through.
I had his sigil drawn in front of me, so I began focusing the Magickal Gaze on it while I slowly whispered his enn. I saw it fade from the pages, my vision distort so that the sigil wasn’t present, and saw the lines “glow” as well as felt a presence of energy in the room.

From here, I said “Mighty Andras, I command you to bring death and chaos upon ____ but do not touch his family, instead turn them against him and make him suffer” or something along the lines lol. I repeated this to myself a few times to make sure my point got across, and held his hands. After I let go, it felt like energy was dancing across my knuckles.
^Also stated it in the present tense as well.
As I was reciting, I felt insane hatred throughout my torso. Homicidal levels of hatred as if it was a mission of revenge. Which I guess is was after all.
Offering wise, I said after the job is sought through, I’d lay blood across the same sigil as used in that ritual.

Afterwards, I banished, brought myself back to Alpha, and the blew my candles out and waved their smoke across my room. I also let the smoke hit my hands and body as if to cleanse them.

[Bliss]

I’ve been very busy with self growth lately.
I’m trying to achieve spiritual balance and growth through meditation and cleansing, and so far so good.
Right now, I’m trying to align myself with every Aristotelian quality as well as the sovereign Spirit. Effectively symbolizing the pentagram.
Tonight was my first non guided meditation. I liked the audios to block out any extra noise from my house, but this time I felt drawn to put the headphones down. I used a stopwatch on my phone to keep time.

I meditated about 20ish minutes this time however I sat fully in seiza from start to finish.
(Yes my feet were suffering after this.)

Recently, I’ve been working on aligning myself with the earth utilizing Prana and Privthi Mudras.
Last night Kalasvera alongside this for the extra stability and felt amazing in the morning.

Tonight, I used the Varuna Mudras for water.
Sitting in the same position was insanely uncomfortable at what I could only guess was the 17 minute mark so I had to bail instantly to avoid any damage to my suffering limbs so nothing super crazy happened but this is the rundown:

Going into meditation unguided felt great. I felt very high in vibration and my 3rd eye breathing was incredibly strong.
After going into trance, I held the Varuna Mudra in my Left Hand and recited ”I am one with the Water” and then switched to my Right hand and recited ”I am one with the Waves”.
I figured this one would make a nice balance of 2 comparable sides while symbolizing Water/Life Waves/Emotions.
I went into the aforementioned 3 after this to blend it as one. Water and Earth.

Post meditation: My back was noticeably sweaty which has never happened before during meditation so I take that as a sign that my Varuna worked well

[Bliss]

Very counterintuitively, I have been in an absolute mental rut lately.
However, magickal space is becoming my peace.

I decided to elevate my practice. I’ve got a handful of stones.
I found a loophole through my mom to bypass some more mundane elements of practice. I just ordered black robes, silk gloves, and a pair of matching white and black candles.
My reasoning was that I was going to exorcise the house; turns out she’s had a thing for spirituality for a very long time. It’s the perfect loophole to “legally” supply and hold onto ritual items.

I’m hurting now. But not for long.
This is my breakthrough. May it bleed golden.

[Bliss]

I’ve been especially busy lately.
I’m trying to push my band to work on a new album so that’s eating a lot of my time up being the one who’s writing and recording literally everything except bass. Plus I mix and master it all so we don’t have to pay studio time.
Way easier to be a musician that way cuz I’m picky but boy does it drain my energy sometimes.
This is really the reason I haven’t been on the forum too much lately, I’m just a little burnt out but hey I’m happy with what I do so

I did my first spoken evocation a little while ago. A very mundane scenario, a toxic ex using my best friend as a route back into my life.
Using DarkestKnight’s advice on a previous post here, I used Alloces to bind her.
It felt a lot more natural to speak and the energy was strong.
The results showed up almost instantly, at least for my side of the story.
She stopped looking at my stories (not even following me and peeping on my stories I mean LMAO) and kind of became less of a headache overall.
I talked my friend very easily into restricting my ex’s account and if you look at it from a different perspective, I did get what I want with no resistance.

Being burnt out from music aside, I am trying to meditate at least 10-20 minutes every night to stay in focus with Magick.
I’ve felt very internally chaotic lately so being able to close myself in while being fully conscious is super nice.
I think I’m going to start trying to incorporate some mantra into what I do instead of just sitting in the dark for 20 minutes, make it really worth the time.

[Bliss]

I grew my wings last night.

I was deep in meditation, nothing deliberately dedicated but sinking into it naturally.
I imagined great wings were sprouting from my back and encasing me like a shield.
I let them span out and I felt strongly pulled to the south (I was facing north).

If I had to describe them from what I can remember imagining, they were like great big bat wings but went back and forth from being sleek and black to charred and red.
The black wings were like regular bat wings.
The red ones had the same structure as bat wings but had a single massive talon like claw that sprouted from the edge and planted itself in the ground as it enclosed around me. I recall smelling something similar to jerky when the red wings came out, like something cooking.
I guess it’s a representation of my duality in identity. The seperation of my life between normal and magickal.

[Bliss]

I really need to stop posting walls of text…
Eh too boring

My mind has been everywhere and nowhere. I haven’t really had a good reason to pursue Magick at the moment, my life is going about as well as it could all things considered. Easier to let what I consider mandatory like protections work on their own time and try not to layer or work anything unnecessary.
It’s like equalizing guitars after an amp, if you remove every whistle and crunch then you just kill the characteristic of the distortion.
I have a feeling though, like I’m gonna need every braincell on deck very soon. I hate this feeling.

[Bliss]

For years Yaldaboath has been a recurring name in my life. The first reason I sought him was to find a spirit to powerful to destroy a rapist. Whilst I was never successful having no way to contact him as I was inexperienced, that same name has continued to appear, and it is appearing in my life again.

Some nights ago, a sizable spider appeared on my wall. While I do live in Texas, and this isn’t necessarily uncommon: it scuttled off shortly after I saw it. I jokingly said to myself that if another spider appeared the same night then some spirit was trying to contact me, however I then thought it would suck if it was another spider. The following night, at almost the exact same time a large ant crawled across my wall, and once again disappeared soon after I saw it.

The recurring name of Yaldabaoth throughout my life as well as this incident shortly before another mention of his name is leading me to believe I’m being given a message to interpret or a challenge to face. But why why why?

[Bliss]

I’ve been lost in thought about how languages have been constructed and how intent is intertwined with meaning through those words.

I wonder if you could make up totally random words but if it carries the energy needed for Magick work, it would be possibly more potent than any current known language because its essence lies in you. But then that gives me more questions like:

Using that logic, were magickal “languages” like enochian created using this form of thought?

If I created a magickal phrase, how potent would it be for others?

Does this then invalidate other languages in magickal work if you believe that what you construct is the most effective?