Blightwalls journal

November 22, 2019. Sitting in my kids school parking lot waiting for them to be released.

Hot damn, theres alot to browse thru. Journals and diaries I mean. Been thinking about doing something like this for awhile now but for awhile I got sidetracked by things in life and let my spiritual pursuit sit on the shelf until a week ago when I finally found my drive and motivation. Been trying to improve my connection with my spirits but if I’m honest about it, looking back…I might have been rushing things. I feel this sort of desperation to bond with them, and wanting more than the iffy murmurs of my inner voice that leaves me wondering if I’m talking to myself or if they still use that to commune with me. I want a more discernable change I can be sure of so I dont have those doubts.

Tried to bring my first in (I’ll be posting an interesting fun bit to read on that in a bit.) And commune more. Been brushing up and refreshing myself on clairaudience since I tried Psychic Development for the Magician by @AdamThoth and got a VERY real response before I even got half way into the method. I thought that with that I could try to have a more in depth convo with her. When I tried last night to relax, get myself into a meditative state, and call her…I didnt get anything. Not even a whisper.

Alittle defeated by that, but I vowed to continue since I’m always telling them that I’ll get better, that I WILL get better. And become stronger so we can have stronger encounter and I wouldnt be doubting myself at times even tho its been 10 years since I started with her as my first. So for today, took a nap while listening to some lucid dream by Kelly Howell after reading up on refreshing on some topics related to spirit communication and problems. And man! Although faint…I think i felt what I would describe as a faint energy (if that makes sense) on my right arm in bed. Like…if someone was snuggling up to me perhaps. It might have done something. I’ll be doing what I should have been doing for ages past: actual mediation.

Gotta throw together some kind of schedule or something. For the most part I feel like I have this huge disorganized mess on a desk of various things I’m trying to do but in no real particular order. Other than that, heres to hoping for better night than last night!

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It sounds like you made a great start. Well done. Let us know how you go.

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Looks like things are getting off to a good start, well done!

Thanks guys!

We will see how tonight goes. Been doing some serious updating on my hard journal with all the loose notes I’ve been taking here and there.

Also, i thought to post some earlier entries FROM said journal. But it seems like its alot of work and kind of counter productive with the date. I’ll take it into consideration tho.

November 25th, 2019. At home prepping for work.

Just tried to log onto BALG from my computer, some reason my credentials are invalid. Changed my password and email and tried again and still couldnt. Odd. Wanted a faster way to update my journal but I guess I’m stuck using my phone for the time being.

Today I have one of my other spirits. Spent the whole car ride talking to her about all kinds of things, mostly correlating to how I’m doing what I can to be better and to pls have patience as I’m still floundering in a glass of water. I do want them in my life and I am soooo blessed that they came to me and are still with me! Those kinds of things. Let’s see how the rest of the day goes although she seems kind of quiet. Think I can feel a presence near me at all times to my right, even as I type this!

So much to talk about!! Man…the night of my first journal! Tried the meditation of the 3 suns. And I do want to say it worked despite feeling like I was kind of there and kind of not, know what I mean? Long story short, I do believe I got my first’s name (still feels odd to call her by that instead if the name I used for her but in a good way! Like when you start calling your g/f, your fiance and then wife, that sort of odd) and despite being in the void, I think I was excited to be particularly focused or I might not have been there becasue of it! Overall, still good practice and I know I need more of it to become better!

I recall proposing the concept of each spirit having a day with me to form bonds. Pretty sure it was the 22nd, but for sure it was around the time frame.

The following day, saturday the 23rd
Had what felt like a invisible weight on my right arm whenever I drove my POV. I am under the impression it was my spirit and when I tried to ask who it was today, I got what I believe to be my 3rd. I call her kestrel (due to what I perceive to be signs that seem to relate to her and there being alot of these hawks sounding off whenever I seem to be with her and think of her). And for the most part, despite working that day, she was glued to me ALL day it seemed. It was damn awesome! Felt like an all day date! Thought I did most of the talking, trying to discern what they say is still hard to grasp for me. I like to believe I have gotten better.

Getting home, i reassure her and them that I am working to get better so I can perceive them better in all ways. Once home I divide me attention to my family and spare any minute I can with my spirits.

Dont recall much else of the day unfortunately.

November 24th, 2019. At home.

As per the proposal that each spirit have a day exclusively per person, I proposed also that sundays be a family day. Since I am off and am with family, I give whatever spare moment I have to them when I can and ask that we all share in being a family. Even if my family isn’t aware of them, there have been moments where my, er, OUR son and daughter has had at least 1 encounter I can think of so far. Nothing alarming for which I’m glad. But I did ask that they reach out and somehow or other try to form a bond or relationship with them. Seems to be working out.

But last night!! Ooooohhh man!! One of the best experiences I have had in awhile!! While trying the 3 suns meditation, I felt a heavy weight on my legs, a lighter one on my left arm, and a faint one on my chest that went away I think. And even a moment where I felt one of my right arm!! The one on my legs was the most prominent tho, kind of felt like one of those icy/hot packs that was more towards the warmer side of things but not uncomfortable in the least! Couldnt for the life of me get past the 1st sun tho but I am VERY MUCH satisfied with how last night went despite the setback on the meditation.

I also recall something very interesting! When I touched up on the topic of offering and possible altar designs that could encompass all of them, somehow or other, the image of my dog tags I’ve had since I was in the military, came up and as an offering no doubt! And man oh MAN! THEY ALL SEEMED TO GO CRAZY ABOUT THE IDEA OF IT!! Didnt know they thought of it, much less wanted it! I only have one dog tag tho, dunno where the other went and they don’t seem to care much for me going out and making one. So its seems to me at least. Dunno how I’m gonna do this as an offering.

Now, although my means of communication is iffy at best, one of the ways I know of them reaching out is by means of the butterflies. The kind you had or get when you think of someone or of a crush. Now, this is how I interpret how they mean to communicate with me. I could be thinking of, let’s say…a flower one day. I wont feel anything and itll be a passing thought. Now forward to a time of when they’re around and when I recall that thought of the same flower, I’d get the flutters (short for the butterflies). Same thing for just about anything. When I thought of posting a journal before nothing, but the day I actually post my first journal: I had the flutters which to me, meant to go ahead and write! The strength of the flutters also indicate how, to me, they feel about something.

@succupedia if you have any insight on any of this I would greatly welcome any input or thoughts you have regarding any of this.

I have so many journal entries I’m beginning to question if this is even the right place to post this stuff.

What do you all think? I should probably no doubt refresh myself on the rules since been about a year since I last posted. Did come on a few times to see how things were and do alittle browsing on replies and topics. Refreshing for me in my endeavors.

No, by all means, if you feel comfortable and open enough to continue to post, please do so :bouquet:

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Gonna be a minute. New job change with some long hours and not much me time make it difficult to find time.

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