I think it’s time I open up a bit more on this site since we aren’t all so different here and I won’t be called crazy like on the other “magic and spirit” based sites.
To start off, I work with Lucifer enough that I’ve taken to wearring a necklace:
To show my dedication. I’ve also tried to better my health for him (almost went anorexic and then suicidal, a couple times in the past but pulled back)
Last month I was thinking of reaching out to Belial to help me with my addiction but I was against the idea. But on August 12, while thinking again of calling to him, I suddenly got the urge to seriously quit this time.
After my last post on here and reading the advice given. I finally came to the thought that maybe he really did help so this morning I tried to make contact but after failing to get through mentally and not even feeling his presence physically, I gave up and went to sleep.
I saw him in dream. I know he hates addiction but I didn’t expect that.
We exchanged Hello’s then he asked me if I worked with Lucifer and I gave him the same answered as I did at the start of this post. “Yes, I do. I see Him as my king.”
This answer seemed to changed the whole feel of the conversation from calm to hostile.
He chided me as if I was a child (given his age vs mine, I guess I am in his eyes) about how if I truly followed Lucifer then I would have tried harder to quit on my own and tried to get stronger mentally so my eye would be open properly (way to hit at the sensitive spots). I tried to tell him that I have been slowly trying just going step by step but he would have none of it.
He had me hold up both of my hands before drapping a chain across the palms of both my hands. He said “Free yourself” as it began to sink into my hand and become sealed it in by my skin healing over it. Of course I panicked, how else would anyone react?
He ignored me franctically pulling my hands in different directions to try to get it out. Instead he calmly came me a speech of:
“Let go of your addiction. You’ve chained yourself now you have to find the strength to be free.”
Funny how all I wanted was confirmation of it was him but end up with a whole chiding followed by a speech. Though it did help clear up my doubts about actually quitting (up until this morning I kept thinking “What’s the worse that could happen if I go back?”) so it was worth it.
