I recently ordered the Belial compendium. However, I was unprepared for the experience I just had and am still experiencing. From the moment I brought the book into my apartment, I knew that I was inviting a powerful force into my life, but I had no idea how strong it would be, nor how it would attempt to influence me.
First off, I felt appropriate to attempt to manifest Belial by anointing his sigil with my own blood. I attempted to call him during the actual working, but his manifestation was very weak.
I suddenly felt the compulsion to buy a small amount of marijuana from a local dealer. One that I trust though. I had read in E.A. Koetting’s Questing After Visions that psychedelic herbs could stimulate the chakras, and increase access to the astral plane.
I smoked a bit after my nightly meditation, and went to sit down in my bedroom. I suddenly, just out of compulsion, began going through the mental ritual of manifestation, commanding simply “a spirit” to manifest in tangible form. I opened my scrying vision at my doorway, and began noticing the shape of a body in the air. A wave of fear came over me, as its tangible appearance began to manifest as a skeletal figure with an aura of black fire. But then morphing back and forth between a black robed figure and a red monster, and then eventually a bishop like figure in white robes. Throughout all his manifestations, the skeletal implications became increasingly vivid.
At first, I didn’t know it was Belial. To me it was a simply a poltergeist. Commanding it to leave, I found no solace as his form grew stronger and stepped towards me. I tried walking through my doorway, but as I walked into its astral body I had a painful adrenaline rush. I ran through anyway, and ran out of my apartment.
As I walked, the psychology of Carl Jung came to mind, and the significance of facing ones own personal shadow in order to develop mentally. I convinced myself that this was what I was experiencing. That my mind was awakening to my dark half. I went back into the apartment and spoke to it, apologizing for reacting so negatively to it’s presence. I went back into my room, and he followed, but that same wave of fear came over me as I began seeing him again.
I asked him what it was and why it had manifested in this way, and he simply kept repeating that it was part of me and that we were one now. I said the name Belial and he laughed menacingly. His voice was absolutely guttural and devilish. It sounded deep and ferocious.
I began writing down things in one of the back pages of the compendium, and just listened and writ down what he was saying.
Tell me what I must do to break these bonds over me, I demanded.
Belial: "You must control the heart, the being!
Lucifer is the being, he is the golden light within.
The forbidden hall of judgement. The pathtaker, the act of murder is his rage! The act of controlling the being through wrath!
However you seek it, the flesh and mind are one. The being is the core of potential.
I am power! I shall rend the flesh from your bones to allow the mind to be commanded by me!
You are doomed, fleshling"!
I pulled out the sigil with my blood on it. I began tearing it apart, but alas he announced:
“The paper is bound! The blood is upon the parchment”!
I yelled, " I can’t die now, I have aspirations that I must hold to in this life".
“This is no longer your game, fleshling. The body is nigh”.
I asked, " may I make a counter offer"?
“I will make no deals”!
I looked deep inside myself, contemplating how I may escape this most unfortunate of circumstances. Then suddenly, I realized Belial’s relationship to the shadow figure in Jungian psychology, and accepted that his threats were merely a test to show me what fears still block me, what insecurities cripple my perceptions. Out of nowhere, he announced:
“You have passed the test! You are your own master! I accept to spare your body. Your mind shall be mine. And I will bend you into the image I/you seek.”
His presence still lingers around me. I can feel him near, and within me, like a flame burning in my chest. I have accepted whatever tests he seeks to put before me, and I will hold to my blood oath with dignity. My body will be forfeit to his manifestation, however painful it may be. Though I feel like I’ve already come a long way in understanding him in one evening, I know not what lies in store for me in the coming weeks.