BALGS Offensive and funny jokes

  1. I saw a new york police officer and he said during a press conference

" We will never forget 911 ", i thought to myself well i’d hope not thats your phone number.

  1. They say theres safety in numbers, yeah tell that to 6 million jews.

  2. How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don’t. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

  3. Hplovecraft if he did a book in this day and age what would it be …

    Cthulu xxx Tentacle porn

Edit : last one wasn’t really offensive just spontaneously thought of it

:joy: Your turn.

8 Likes

you cant have a war on terror or terrorism because you cant wage war on a noun you need a state or a country to wage war on , and when they got the terror whats next wars on horror we will get these LHP fuckers we will drag them down to guatanamo bay it will be hard to make em wear orange but we will figure something out

1 Like
  1. What do you call a nazi bbq.
    A jewbq

  2. How do you starve a black family?
    Hide their foodstamps under their workboots.

  3. How do you get a nun pregnant?
    Have an alter boy shit in her vagina.

  4. How do you catch a small child?
    Superglue the priests groin.

2 Likes

:joy:

Just for you.

imageimage

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:joy:

My girlfriend is the best Baaaarrrbra come here :rofl:

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How many abducted women does it take to change a light bulb? More than 30, my basement is still dark.

Why did Hitler never get invited to any barbeques? He always burned the Franks.

Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself? You would kill yourself too if your name was neghffyarlobbbllop (waves hands around)?!

@C.Kendall it’s already a thing. Google “Call Girl of Cthulhu”. I shit you not.

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:joy: For fuck sake is nothing sacred.

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They seriously need to make good Lovecraft films.
I saw 3 and they were all shit.

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I thought Reanimator was well done. Dunwich Horror was awful and Dagon was basically The Shadow Over Innsmouth, and campy at best. Same 3? Also, it was not a Lovecraft film, but The Void was definitely along the same vein and amazingly well made for it’s total budget of 165k.

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Dunwich horror
Necrenomicon
The thing on the door step
I forgot to add a 2007 “cathulu” based on shadow over insmouth

I haven seen the void but thanks for the suggestion I’ll check that out

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Yeah all the Lovecraftian films tend to be low budget, such a shame because they can really do a decent blockbuster horror on the mythos it’s very well known in pop culture anyway…well cathulu is .

Oh yeah I forgot about Necronomicon. It sucked so much it became a repressed memory, lol. Did not see the thing on the doorstep or cathulu, I have to check them out. Oh yeah, there was a movie I saw on a site called In Search of Lovecraft. I did not watch but the synopsis said it was about an investigative reporter who finds cause to believe his stories are more than stories (HPL’s).

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A guy walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk where to find tampons. The clerk directs him to the appropriate aisle and returns to work. A minute later the guy comes to the counter holding a bag of cotton balls and some tissue paper.

The clerk says “You did not find what you were looking for?”, as the man had just asked about tampons.

The man responds “I asked my wife to pick me up a carton of smokes while she was out the other day. She came back with a bag of tobacco and rolling papers, touting how much money we will save. I figure if I have to roll my own then so does she.”

4 Likes

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

You tape rice to the ceiling

1 Like