10 min candle/flame meditation
able to clearly see it and center it. The writeup made it sound like this would be more difficult. Maybe upgrade this tomorrow.
50 min trance
performed breathing and then tried multiple methods. The ladder method still seems to not be working. Tried steps into the void. Didn’t seem to work either at first, however, when I tried listening to the darkness around me i quickly felt building tingles and sensation on m cheeks, head, and above my ears and momentarily dropped into a greater darkness with a hum/buzzing. Didn’t last long and wasn’t able to get back to it after, but seems i got somewhere
15 minutes candle/flame
was able to see the light with my eyes covered, center it, and increase it’s intensity. This was the first 3 minutes. After decided to relax and lose myself in the candles flame itself. Noticed after a moment i could create the flame above the candle in mid air as well. As i stared I was able to turn the flame above the flame from red to deep blue. Started to blur at this point so moved on to:
45 min trance
Closed eyes and performed breathing until was even more relaxed then began descending steps into the void. Again left the last step and tried listening to the darkness. Thought I heard a man having a conversation with someone in the distance, but couldn’t make it out. After it dissipated i sat in silence for a while and then tried to evoc Lilith. Felt the atmosphere change and the darkness in my mind change as well, but indescribable. I asked if she was there and if we could talk. I heard no voice, but i did hear a single snap/tap that seemed to come from my right, then left, then in front of me and closer. At one point i felt a cold air centered on specific parts of me as if a cold fan was blowing the air. Still did not discern any voices other than my own, but feel I’m getting closer to something.
30 min trance
was able to almost make trance, but was over all unsuccessful. Did feel something touch my fingers on my right hand and my left arm felt an energy around it. asked Lilith if we could talk and heard a single owl sound. did not reoccur and heard nothing else.
30 min laying down/listening
felt all around my head tingles mostly on my ears, above my ears, and crown. felt as if a hand ran through my hair a couple times. had a strong sense of arousal both physically and mentally, but told myself i should listen and pushed past it. did not hear anything though
my whole body feels like there is a charge around like what happened the other day. not sure if this is normal or and after effect
40 min trance
Almost reached trance a couple times, but just couldn’t make the drop. Didn’t hear anything outside the candles flame.
Noticed that immediately upon starting meditation that an energy/tingle at the base of my skull. It remained throughout the meditation and dissipated slowly after
20 min candle flame
something new happened today. I saw a giant midnight blue orb over the candle. Wasn’t sure what i was seeing, but definitely there. Focused on it for a few minutes. Eventually it dissipated.
Log 61 (I think… ?)
October 1, 2021
6 minutes
Concentration on my forehead in order to work on third eye/Ajna chakra, then on the feeling “I” (self awareness), finally some repetitions of “Om namah Shivaya”.
missed a few more days, will be more vigilant and make myself do this more.
50 min combined candle/trance
Practiced something suggested by anther member. Not quite sure if the results accomplished anything as i heard and saw nothing unusual, but I did feel a little floaty at one point.
45ish combined candle/trance
Again went with method suggested. Lines blurred and reached blank state much more easily today. Felt environment around me change a little, but heard/saw nothing of import.
Was at a park earlier today and took the time to meditate.
Nothing fancy just regular meditation.
Maybe 15 min or so?
Mind kept yammering and it was a little hard to find the inner stillness.
I definitely felt that release and letgo in my body though after awhile.
Intoning “OM” (or other seed sounds) seemed to help and is probably the key to getting back into regular meditation (mind/body memory from previous regimens?)
I’m also currently fasted having only ate once yesterday (and the last few days) and only liquid today.
Log 63
October 9, 2021
11-12 minutes
Work on the Sahasrara and Ajna chakras by saying and vibrating their names, focusing on their areas, visualizing there blossoming bright lotuses, repetition of “My third eye opens” while imagining on the forehead an indigo eye opening and radiating light of that color.
Log 64
October 10, 2021
9 minutes
Concentration on top of my head (Sahasrara) and repetition of “What is sitting? This body. Whose body is this one? It belongs to me”: besides creating detachment, it’s a form of self awareness, meditation on the I.
5 min breathing
getting better at calming myself and mind
45 min candle/trance
things of note thought i saw symbols above the flame a couple times and maybe a tree with many branches and no leaves. Heard an owl and then the symbols/tree disappeared. Felt energy move up and down my body a few times.
