O.A.A. lesson one. Darkness meditation.
I sat on my bed in the dark looking out the window. I noticed several moving and some floating things around my sphere of vision.
I looked past them and trough them to focus on a tree I can see across the street. All of a sudden trees are moving bending and dancing.
After reading your other posts, going back to basics may be the best thing. Sounds like you suffer from burn out.
My two pesos is that people tend to focus on their weakness and not their strengths. Forget the losses and use your strength to get a couple of cheap wins. It will do a ton for your confidence.
For example, if you’re strength is tarot, then be the best at that. Forget this ritual or that ritual. Build your strength and your weaknesses will follow suit.
You’ll power through this.
Take it easy my friend. I took a long pause in magic before I sort of restarted myself after discovering E.A.'s stuff in youtube. Btw I love this place and people here. I just did an energy cleansing bath and man does that feel good now even without white wine vinegar…