Autistic spectrum and magical development

Where a lot of that leaves me, strangely enough, I’ve had a lot of powerful experiences but none of them have been directly initiated by me. On one level it’s proof positive, at least for my own subjective experience (nothing I could ever convince a die-hard atheist with), that this stuff is indeed quite real and quite important to explore and understand. At the same time - equally from experience - it seems like it has a distinct autonomy. It’s not Israel Regardie’s psychological magic and it’s not fungible. It’s a bit like that cosmic fabric is watching me, is relating to me, but it’s also like I haven’t been able to call many shots and haven’t been able to say ‘lets talk’ and call such meetings again. I’m really hoping it will stop playing coy relatively soon.

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It wouldn’t surprise me. It seems like a full-sized brain when it’s impeded in one mode of activity finds other ways to operate. I’ve heard this sort of thing about people who were vegetative in the hospital but fully aware, they’d be astral traveling often and it was something they had to figure out how to do in order not to go mad.

With autism of the sort your describing though it’s maddening. Just from what little commonality I had with it - you can be quite normal inside but your body does something completely different, wires get crossed, and the person people get to know isn’t even a shadow of who you actually are inside. While I get the feeling that most people, on or off spectrum, have felt a bit of that off and on it’s a whole different ball game when you can only communicate through a keyboard, make repetitive motions, and verbalize something like ‘ooooOOoooOOOoo’. The trade-off for being higher functioning is that people will just size you up as a flunky or loser and treat you accordingly, there won’t be much if any assistance either, but the loss of autonomy in the former is quite heart-rending.

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Youre spot on with my experience.

I figured out after a year that there was waaaaaaaaay more going on beneath the surface in our clients. When you treat them fairly like a typical human, they will become comfortable in ATTEMPTING to verbalize with you.

The people we see do not often try things without someone asking them to. They fear judgement too!

An example.

One of my clients always does this very dramatic and some what goofy looking rocking motion. He’ll put his right foot out and left foot back and he’ll rock back and forth and swing his chest out when he rocks forward.

People thought he was getting himseld worked up and demand he stop.
I observed instead of attempting to control him, and I figured out that that is how this dude dances!
I figured this out because he will begin to do this to music outside but once he notices other people he will stop and look down at his feet. He is feeling shame in this instance, because people told him not to do that and so he thinks he shouldnt.

So I decided to show him my dance moves! We dance together all the time. He’ll ask me to put music on and throw his hand in the air and verbalize his 1 word to everything “YEA!” and we jam.

After a couple weeks of this, I walked in and gave my usual greeting “hey man, how are you”. To that he says his usual"yea!" With an open hand for a high five.

But then he looks at me and says, in the best way he could, which took a few seconds to get the words out, “how are you”.

My coworkers were baffled by this

Moral of the story. My work experience working with neuroatypical adults has taught me not to judge a book by its cover, there is ALWAYS more than meets the eye.

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You too?
I myself use John Lennon’s little known declamation on The Beatles I Am The Walrus; it goes, “Get fucked! Get fucked! Everybody get fucked!”

Al.

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