Sister,
There’s a clip I posted of Koetting in the section What Am I Doing Wrong. It’s about cursing.
Al.
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Thank you 
im the exact same way but what i find almost odd is that the other me said his name is Ardinos and that is what the entities i work with refer to me as
The other you?
its hard to explain its like two parts of me one is the normalish person society wants then there is the other one its much more mysefl in a way but tends to be more cold and ruthless but thats the one that feels closer to the true me but i have to contain it
It’s in the New Avatar Power book.
The last 8 months has changed me permanently. I’ve had to do things that I never thought I’d have to do. But it has shown me how powerful and worthy I really am, and it has shown me how merciless and brutal I can be. It also showed me more of who I really am. 
Of course I stopped caring about my enemies. But I haven’t turned into a cold, empty, husk of a human being. I still care about people in general and want them to do well in life. But not at my expense. And that’s the difference for me.
I’m on the path to a better life now.
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Thanks. I haven’t read it all the way straight through yet.
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Last month when i was weak and being attacked… and has this person’s attack was pushing me off a set of stairs i heard a demons name… l did divination had cards read and dove head first. I have stopped cursing them I simple send their dagars back… they have been sick since my pact. And quite commically i wear a cross in his honor… a cross without the body is a representation of a form of torture… and i have given him full cart blanch to fuck them up. I have also started reading E.A.s book Baneful magick which is outstanding. I think that was a turning point for me. Several targets have been hit or their world has become shit since i started this path.
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Baneful Magick has so many ways to dispatch one’s enemies. I am going to use quite a few rituals in it soon.
I guess to answer my own question, recently. IDGAF now.
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