At what point did you cease to "care"?

Did you ever?

I have slowly realized that I was not scared of others, but what I am capable of. I was indoctrinated at a young age and feared retribution for the smallest of mistakes until recently. Over time things fell away and I am left feeling every emotion I wasn’t able to feel for most of my life. Throughout the past few years I felt this person peaking out from underneath, showing themselves more and more. I was afraid of what she would do and what she is capable of. She’s come out once or twice over the years. She almost killed someone. I tried to keep her under wraps but now I am happy she’s here. I used to feel so much. Now, I don’t feel anything except maybe anger. I guess the best way to describe it would be like The Joker.

Anyone else?

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I don’t understand what you mean by care. Like not caring about what you do and the consequences or is it something different?

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I guess, yeah. Like if you’ve done spells or rituals to kill someone. Did you (general you, not specifically) ever care about taking a life? Did it ever bother you? If someone did you wrong did it ever bother you once you decimated their entire existence as payback? Have you always been that way or did you change over time?

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Well, I’ve never cursed, killed, or anything to a person so I don’t really know. Though, knowing me I probably wouldn’t give two fucks. Honestly, and this might sound stupid and/or inhuman to some of you, I would probably laugh at that person I messed up depending on what happened to them. I don’t usually get mad but if someone were to push me to the limit all hell is about to break loose on them.

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I changed over time. I totally get you. I used to let things go, turn the other cheek, ignore shitty behaviours from others etc. Not any more. It is personal empowerment. I have paid back a couple of really nasty people now I am what I am and fuck them, they chose to abuse others so let them suffer the bane

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You DO totally get me.

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Yes. I do have a respect for what can and does happen with baneful magic now. I did not at the 2 year point . I have seen the effects and now I only use severe things for severe cases.

When you have been abused,bullied, picked on and harassed for years from the general population for being quiet,different etc It changes you.

I was done with being upset and Lucifer re modelled my life when I started working with him and I have never looked back.

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I kind of look at it the way the Old American West and warrior/honor based cultures did. If someone betrays me or threatens me/my happiness,I’ll destroy them. It’s the warrior outlook and I see it as truly honorable.

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like that this was asked cause i can say i feeeeeel like the joker seriously im out going and a joy but im also not at the same time i use to be reserved and quiet let ppl walk all over me use abuse and hurt me that stopped last month i cursed my ex i didnt want harm done to him but well lets say the harm wont come for 2 years that is all he has left i care buut i dont its a paradox with me really contradictory and its weird makes me feel like my personality has spit further

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To be honest THe Joker is a bit of a fag, he had just one really bad day and he snapped !!! Most people in the forum have tolerated crap for years if not decades!!!

Nevertheless to me he comes before Gandhi when it comes to favorite quotes.

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I was referring to him doing what he wants viscerally and not being held down by societal norms. I could have chosen more esoteric figure, but I didn’t feel the need.

Depending on the origin story you go with, The Joker is either a straight psychopath (from birth or due to the chemical accident) or a grieving widower/father. Neither is born from having “one really bad day”. I say that as someone who’s been mistreated since birth (several decades). One doesn’t become a psychopath willingly. Or with knowledge.

That said, I’m summoning Andres tonight. I’ve already nicknamed him “The Berzerker”. IDGAF

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Yes. Got two for the price of one. First was intended, unfortunately he died too fast. Second was just something that happened after years in gaol, the night before his wedding. Collateral damage.

My attitude is that humans aren’t endangered. Killing doesn’t bother Nation States or their servants - militaries and police - so it didn’t bother me. Felt great. Both were real turds.

Al.

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Congratulations. I would feel better if my target would just die. It would hasten my healing. Unfortunately, he keeps plodding on,getting more ill but still breathing

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Have you written about what spell or ritual you did?

I want to do the Astral Bomb Attack ritual, but I can’t find it.

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6 months ago

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Feel free to share a much of your story as you care to.

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I have heard it best put in a book by motorcycle club legend Sonny B.

“Treat me good, ill treat you better. Treat me bad, ill treat you worse.”
-Sonny

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Oh I just stopped being afraid or caring abput anything. Like a switch clicked off in my head. @NewToThis26

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I stopped caring when i my father put a gun to my mothers head, when my sister was molested at a public school, when i was beaten half to death for being different.

Ive tried to be a nice person but every once in a while you could see the madness and and lack of mercy i hide under my kind persona, I dont care for people who dont care for themselves, i dont care for people who do wrong and justify there actions, i dont care that people are scared of changes and being different. They are al the same in my eyes.

Sorry if this is way off my normal style but its how i think.

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You both sound very much like me. Thank you for sharing and I am very sorry for what you have been through.

The worm turns at some point. If they didn’t do something first, there wouldn’t be anything for us to get revenge or retaliate for. I am a really nice person and it took a lifetime of mistreatment for me to get to here I presently am.

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