Astral Fuel

So as far as soul travel I still don’t find myself to be that much more than a beginner even though I started having my first experiences about 10 years ago. Most techniques didn’t work to well. Some stones and trying to kick my astral body out while keeping my physical body not moving and blah blah blah.
Most of my success was thought forms I created helping me out after my body has been up for hours at at time.

But anyways I want to talk about two recent experiences.

I was in a dream and my black brother came and lefted me up out of my body in my dream, doing a different technique, I think he said we were in the upside down world now, and the technique felt that way too, usually I am lifted up and out not up down and out, interesting.

So then he gave me some sort of pondered balls to crush up and eat to give me better luck and momentum in different areas of my life. He video taped it and I asked how are you going to watch that later? He put his camera away.

Do you ever notice in dreams you can’t rewind a video and replay the same thing and you can’t flip back in a book to the page you were just on? I never noticed if you can turn a light on and off, i hear you can’t but I dunno.

Anyways enough rambling I think I am heading to go cross the abyss with him and I am not supposed to have any doubt. I felt a are you going to get scared come in, and I was like no man I got this. I kept walking through a snowy area and eventually a hell type portal started trying to open up and suck me in. I resisted but found myself out side my body yet again staring at my astral body and pulling, pulling myself out. I never got sucked in exactly. :thinking: but it took all my astral fuel to fight it off, I wasted so much astral fuel that I found myself waking up back in my body.

I guess I want to include that cause it was more recent and it dealed with astral fuel and my black brothering, which is a thing I often find myself worrying about.

Anyways this next one happened last night and maybe this was a bit based on how I have been thinking if I pour my ego into the cup and give that to the abyss aren’t I putting myself in hell still? and if I make it across and my black brother longer wants to be my soul(“mate”) that basically means I kind of end my life anyways and merge back into God, or the exact opposite path seems to be available by climbing the tree of Qliphoth where I delete my divinity and crystallize my identity and become immortal that way, as like a demon and shit. Is this really as bad as it is? I can’t say I like my options. If I ever truly did join one of these stupid orders it is probably the dumbest magick thing I have done by the looks f it as of now.

So I have been starting to think about what do I truly want for myself other than my guardian angel black brother and soul mate back. Well errrg sort of none of these things but find my home on the astral plane and live happily there. I was in my dream and saw this beautiful, beautiful place, it was so beautiful but what was I looking at exactly other than this sort of artsy, opulent but cozy and yet mysterious and even tropical place? Trying to make it out seemed to take up a bunch of energy, this astral fuel, because this started to make the room harder to be in, and make me wake up.

Now putting this dream aside for a moment I want to provide one more example of astral fuel, you are in a flying dream, astral traveling or whatever and some times you can fly and fly and other times you can barely get up in the air or start falling right away depending on how much fuel.

Perhaps this is why (in “semi” large part) why we can get stuck in this position of choosing between hell, merging with God, and coming back to Earth, all not the greatest choices in many ways. So much nicer to spend more than a few miliseconds trying to make out this magestic beauty in what could be a dream home in the astral let alone a great portion of time and happiness while bring in your loved ones and familiars to have great parties and share in wonderful moments of happiness and joy.

So I guess the question is how do we get more astral fuel? How do we obtain or develop this so that we can last in the spirit plane longer?

Ha
Perhaps there is more than one question here I have lots on my mind.

You know I met this man for about a total of 4 minutes, it’s so sad if it had to end, it was so significant I remember it near verbatim always and analyze so deeply the things we had said.
He said “I am a writer”
Me : “Oh wow a writer, what kind of writing do you do?”
He: “Horror”
*Me (Thinking): horror, I’m not really into that, Oh shit something really fucking scary is going to happen if I get involved with this guy, but … he will be so worth it… hmmm how mysterious a man. *
*Me: Mmm okay. *
Him: Well hey if I fail I’ll just go back to the university.
*Me: Eu no, at least put you money into bitcoin or something. *
Him eu no.

My first thought was was this a set up for him to put a spell on me all along and me saying you’ll need more power fool?

Now I have been thinking could he have been talking about astral university to get me across?
And I was saying can’t we just get enough energy to live in the astral?

Anyways in recap.
The question was how to get more Astral fuel?
All other questions can be summed up by something like any thoughts on my situation?
Can I ever not be haunted by this as long as I live?

if anything, visualize more but in the sense that maybe u xould have never made suxh a visualization. and it doesnt have to nexessarily be about astral projextion. in some xases my dreams bexome the route of desired astal travel.

also if ur into vampyrism digest more.