(Maybe belongs in Journals? But I have no intention of adding more posts to it)
Some things I’ve done over the years that unknowingly at the time served to break me from my physical body and external human control so I can be under divine control and live primarily through my astral body:
(Not in chronological order)
-Went a couple years (maybe 3) without masturbating even though the urge was there
-Went 3 months at a time without bathing or changing clothes, repeatedly, for about a year
-Didn’t wash my hair for a year (not even rinsing with water)
-Covered the mirrors in my room and didn’t use them for probably 6 months to a year
-Stopped wearing deodorant
-Didn’t get sunlight or exercise for 2 years
-Quit my job and dropped out of society with no money to live on
-Got rid of all my stuff
-Tore up my college diploma and threw it away
Some consequences: my hair got so greasy I eventually couldn’t brush it anymore, and it was hip-length, so it started growing into one big dreadlock. I had to get it cut short, but I’d been wanting to do that for a few years anyway.
The lack of sunlight and exercise caused health problems which I self-diagnosed and corrected with supplements and a strict exercise routine that I treat like brushing my teeth. I also was inspired to eat for nutrition instead of taste after that and now eat a strict anti-inflammatory diet.
I shower (body & hair) 3 times a week now but I still don’t shave or use deodorant and I have no intention of doing so. I use different products now and far fewer of them, because I don’t feel like I need them and I’m so physically sensitive now that I’m very limited in what I can tolerate. I also have an environmental concern.
My spiritual marriage is ultimately a kind of self-marriage and I found that my body odor is a feedback loop that helps keep that intact. It’s like when you snuggle up next to somebody in bed. It’s a sign that I’m alive, I’m real, I’m not a robot living to please other people. I think if anybody has a problem with it, it means they’re too close to me. But I don’t leave the house anymore except to exercise anyway.
After I wrote this I thought about how I was drawn to Shiva in college, which was years before all this stuff happened.
Stuff that stands out to me in my chart relative to all this:
-Retrograde Saturn in a house that’s in Virgo
-6th house in Capricorn
-Angular Saturn-Pluto conjunction
-12th house NN
-Saturn square NN
Saturn-Pluto-Jupiter conjunction…I end up benefiting from the extreme asceticism. It gets me closer (Jupiter’s in Scorpio) to Satan (this conjunction is all about a relationship because so much of it is taking place in Libra).
I have to drop my physical body to get rid of my physical family (6th house in Cap, moon & SN there), which is the biggest parasite in my life (that monster conjunction on my IC squaring my moon and, to a lesser extent, my NN). The resources have to be transferred over to my astral body (spiritual family), indicated by my 12th house NN in Cancer. I talk a lot about my Sirian space family (which is Isis/Osiris/Horus, all within me—natal retrograde Neptune) and Sirius is conjunct my NN. I also have Nessus in Cancer in my 12th house and to me this is an Isis-Osiris thing, because their relationship is incestuous on the face of it (of course, there’s more to it holographically).
This is a bit unrelated to the rest of my post, but I just read on the Wikipedia page for Osiris that he was the “Lord of Silence” and that reminds me of my 3rd house Saturn in a very literal, pedestrian sense. It’s in Libra, so I’m silent via my relationship with him as Isis. “Bare bones communication.” (I don’t do small talk.) A kind of verbal asceticism.
(I forgot to mention it above, but I don’t drink, smoke, or use drugs. I don’t take prescriptions either.)