So I have been participating in daily LBRP rituals for the course of 6-8 months now, and I have found its practice to he immensely beneficial for my aura, grounding me, and opened doorways to meet people and present opportunities that have helped me align to my true will.
I used to suffer from sleep paralysis and a plethora of negative entities harrassing me for sex as I slept. I suffer from a fairly disturbed past involving rape and sexual abuse so these nightmares are out of this world and render me convulsing in pain and agony and contemplating inflicting pain on myself due to the memories they induce. I managed to defeat them once and for all, two years ago, when in the dream state I was advised to call on the four archangels to stop an episode of sleep paralysis. Since that moment of clarity and this years regular LBRP practice,I have not experienced any further sleep paralysis.
Last night however, while not sleep paralysis, the dream I inflicted was one that has left me violently upset today. It seemed to involve an initiation period, where all my closest friends and companions were testing me and not being true to themselves. It was revealed that my ex and one of my close friends were having an explicit sexual relationship in front of me, and telling me repeatedly how undesirable, useless and I was, and how much better than me my friend was, which absolutely murdered my self esteem. Everyone had an alternate agenda to being friends with me, and my ex revealed that the only reason he was ever in a relationship with me was to write a book on me to gain ‘insider information’, this devastated me so much that I tried to throw myself under a truck. Another part of the dream involved my fourth grade teacher telling me she had cursed me back in 2000 because I made a joke (I was a fucking child) regarding her tribe. I have read pieces of how powerful ancient aboriginal magic is, and it actually terrifies me and I have the utmost respect for it. In another portion of the dream, I was visited by a statue of archangel michael, and the statue shattered into pieces upon being in my presence and I was told there is no salvation, so I must kill myself.
Basically every component of the dream lead back to me killing myself, or being told to kill myself. That there is no hope for me. That everyone fucking hates me and that my life is worthless. But when I would attempt to inflict harm, I was unable to move.
I woke up saturated in pools of swear, hysterically bawling my eyes out.
I am doing salt baths to cleanse, sage smudging, LBRP, sheilding, basically every protection tactic in the book has been attempted. Until last night, I thought they were working. This dream has induced such violent emotions in me that I am left pondering what more I can do to banish my environment, what type of astral entity would inflict these nightmares? An emotional leech or parasite? How can I purge or banish such attatchments? Why Is the LBRP no longer affective, or has something penetrated my sheild recently?
Any help, protection or advice would be so so so immensely appreciated. I am hesitant to summon up any demons yet until I have banishing perfected, but if there is a demon of protection I would love to know.