I had a similar experience with a woman, what I did was to ask Azazel what would hurt her the most. Azazel told me that it would not be a magical thing, but to face her and make her aware of what she did by making her to face it, but I was so broken that Azazel had to train me for three months in order to do that. When I finally did it, I won the argument and she asked me for forgiveness and admited everything that happened, plus thanked me for everything I did for her, then I never talked to her again. However, I didn’t feel healed at all, because things weren’t that forgiveable, thus I began with a program aimed to heal myself and make something good of what happened. For more than a year I worked with goddesses that were whores and with forces that were representative of whores; I militarized my sex life, every sexual act must be aimed to cast a spell; and finally, I worked with my inner jerk. I turned the memories of what happened into valuable historical knowledge and proof of the knowledge that Azazel taught me. I also did an extensive Qabalistic analysis of everything that happened. Now I’m a more wholesome person.
I asked Azazel for help because he is my main male figure among demons, but you might want to ask Lilith for help