Anyone here did not not believe in the magickal but believed later on?

What is your story and what made you believe?

i think I was just fortunate not to have the fact that there is more than the eye can see or the ears can hear “educated” out of me as a child.

This is all self evident but then adults you trust go “don’t be silly” and you stop talking about it until you don’t feel it any more.


Hello, I still remember that post I made on your tarot thread. I would like to apologize for posting those words, won’t be doing it again.

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My spiritual journey has been quite the adventure, starting from a place of staunch atheism and winding up in the fascinating world of Wicca. Growing up Catholic, it’s quite the departure, but life has a funny way of surprising you. It all began with my initiation into Wicca and picking up Scott Cunningham’s “Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner,” where I unexpectedly encountered an invocation to Lucifer/Satan. Talk about a curveball!

After some serious introspection, I made the bold decision to embrace the left-hand path. I explored different avenues, from joining the Sect of the Horned God to getting initiated into the Order of Shiva. However, my path took a detour when I tried out the Church of Satan.

Unfortunately, things didn’t quite align with my expectations, especially when I found myself in a pickle with the law (and medical doctors). It’s ridiculous, really—I was just practicing witchcraft, which is completely legal in Canada. Yet, the lack of support from the Church of Satan left me feeling disillusioned.

So, I made a switch and found my place in The Satanic Temple. Now, I’m all about backing the Grey Faction and standing up for what’s right. It’s been a rollercoaster ride, but hey, that’s the journey of life, isn’t it?

The invocation to Lucifer/Satan in Scott Cunnigham’s book reads as follows (please remove if not allowed):

Horned one of the wilderness,
Winged one of the shining skies,
rayed one of the splendorous sun,
fallen one of Samhain Cries -
I call amidst the standing stones
praying that you, O ancient one,
will deign to bless my mystic rites-
O firey lord of the blazing sun!

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Good you are pointing it out. It’s okay… I‘m not mad.

I believe nothing. Magick is my desire to create change according to my will that I cannot do with normal accepted methods. I came to the occult because I wanted power to destroy my bullies, get laid and protect those I cared about. Now I have been more interested in to find a way to restore my youth so I can look like my 21 years old self.


I was forced to go to church every Sunday even if ill. The pastors were crooked and perverted men with riches taken from their poor flocks who beat their kids and sinned during the week, but praised jesus in nice clothes on Sunday. I switched religions thinking surely the word of god written by man in different formats was a cure as they practice it on TV, the movies, muslim, jewlish, and different ways. Its baked into how we exist.

I then learned how people of faith cheat on their spouses regardless of religion, kill, start wars, rape, steal money at all levels, and convince friends to conceal their lies, yet magic is the devil and you’re all going to hell.

Learning about the cycles & rhythms of space, planets, and the earth, nature, how they create unnatural medicines from natural things, led me closer. Energies, why some people disturbed me by touching me, ghosts, & my sleep paralysis. I’m not crazy & spirits exist, so much exists…but what really did it was having to fight a strong spirit alone.

I can’t describe waking up to it after a lucid nightmare it controlled. It gave it to me to introduce itself. A tarot reader passed it to me by not cleansing herself. Not feeling safe enough to sleep in my own home. I fled for a friend’s home to feel safe. It wanted to hurt me. The nightmare I couldn’t escape that it gave me is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I can’t describe the horror…but I learned. After I got rid of it I knew magic was real.

If you’ve seen the movie Inception, it was nightmares inside of nightmares that I felt but couldn’t control.