okay great. i was once of the opinion that masturbation had no effect on magick…but the more research i do, the more i am moved from that position. This is something you’ll want to do sparingly…to be on the safe side
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You seem a bit chaotic, do you work systematically towards your goals ? Also 3 years is not much in the world of magick, just trying to make you feel better, trust me.
You must show dedication by doing your work everyday, not much is needed on a daily basis however something, every day.
But you might be doing something wrong too. Or you might be working on to many things at the same time ?
Do you have many goals ?
I would suggest making a goals-tree, a journal - write all your goals, under each goal write down what is keeping you from reaching that goal - under that write down what is the solution, if you know.
You probably do, our inner self usually know. This way you have a “recipe” to work from.
I did this in the beginning and it made everything easier, gives you a clear view over your hurdles and how to overcome them. Good luck!
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Hey, try Raziel’s magic potential mantra every day for 3 weeks, with Blue Ray meditation and Sohum meditation (Anmol Mehta), you can take turns doing them. I did the first one with the light on and the second one with my eyes open (not always). It catapulted me.
I also thought I was alone and that no one cared about me, I can’t tell you how wrong I was.
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3 years ago I joined this forum
2015 when I started to study the occult
And before I was born when I was in my mother womb she had dark dreams about me while my other two brothers had more pleasant dream of light.
When I was very young age I started getting visited by someone who’s presence felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean so much pressure around and when he was in a room the hole room became so dark that the dark its self look like a solid wall.
First time he visited me I was around 6 years old I heard him manifest and moveing objects around
He spoke to me from the other room he told me with a growling monster like voice he is the devil
I was religious at that time so I think he was messing with me.
He normally visits me every like 5 years or so
He is extremely powerful and he can manifest whether I have my astral senses or not he will show him self
He came in a dream as well he was inside a human but his eyes were glowing it looked like they were made out of lava mixed with blood.
He told me " no matter what you even if you try to get rid of me is useless, I will always be there with you"
I tried getting rid of him during my religion time didn’t work.
I was about to get killed by a car a couple of times i felt him manifest and behind me and grab me by the back of my neck and pull me back.
I can’t commit suicide when I am in pain.
I have a feeling his doing this sufferings to me to break me and then to remake me.
He will be back I know it he comes every once in a while.
I just hope I won’t have a heart attack cuse his presence is so dark and the air so thick.
So I have a feeling I been into magick way before I was even born.
And it makes me angry i don’t have answers to my questions
The last time I heard from him he manifested some kind of portal above me and I had the feeling if I dont resist i will fall in the clouds
I think it was him 
This is not the first time.
I had this stuff happening throughout my life I can’t stay on the ground watch the skies anymore or I feel like I will be launched into space
Thank you all for answering my questions and helping me.
I have a plan that I believe things will work out for me.
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