Anyone alse been through this feeling of feeling angry towards your own self?
I wana harm my self not suicide but punch the walls until my hands break or smash my head into a wall until until I bleed.
I feel so angry seeing the situation I am in
Feeling angry every time I read a story of someone having a close connection with one of the Ancient gods and I feel I am not worthy of their time.
Feeling angry at my self for falling for religion crap and I had good astral senses but I shut them out with that filthy religion
Feeling angry at my self that that I got visited by Demons dark beings during religion time and I told them to leave me alone cuse I belong to Jesus
I wana scream now for letting my self being brainwashed
Feeling anger I could have been a advance in soul travel and I can spend one hour trying to get put of the body and nothing while others do it in 5 min
Feeling angry at my self for doing so many hours of enrgy work and meditation and there is no more progress
Feeling angry at my self for being a little pathetic weak being
The list goes on why I hate my self
I wana see progress i wana be a God I want to be able to create my own reality
I been on this forum for like 3 years and been practicing meditation and energy work and trying soul travel and it feels I am wasting my time still a God dam normal human who can’t even be a human or walk probably because of the disability problems.
Spend all your energy, go for a hike until you can’t walk anymore. Punch the ground if you must, and send all your anger back to the earth.
And then stop feeling sorry for yourself, and move on.
Can’t go out its winter and hikes are full of coyotes and I am 3 feet tall and with disabilities i can barely walk 5 min and Ontario is still on lockdown i can be going to jail if I don’t go out for something important like buying food
You’ve been conditioned, which is something normal. Every human being gets conditioned mostly by their parents/family/other close surroundings for better or worse and its hard to break up the pattern. But once you’ve been able to detect the pattern and the causes (which is kind of an achievement, a lot of people are not even able to see what is influencing them and why) it gets easier and easier. But it takes time and you’ll have to give yourself that time. Parting from old patterns is a hurtful thing, even if these patterns didn’t do any good for you in your past. Letting go of something that is familiar (even abuse) puts you into a position that feels mostly unsafe at first. Which is also perfectly normal.
So far I can’t see anything “hate-worthy” here regarding your self.
It is your anger that holds you back. That is not to say you should try to remove your anger rather you should redirect it and harness it turning it into determination. Demons are also only one side of the coin you can work with angels indeed you can work with angels in order to work with demons and vice versa. They hold no enmity towards each other they are simply tasked with different areas of reality to maintain. You can also do it without spirits. Even energy work can be foregone in the stead of mental training and exploration.
Anger is natural as is many other emotions and they are tools for us to use just as they can hinder and distract us. Don’t even feel the need to follow any system but take what you wish and carve your own path and system if need be though this is harder for one that hasn’t had some experience with other systems to begin with. A close connection to an ancient god is ultimately meaningless and overshadowed by one who has a close connection with themselves.
The goal is not to feel good for a moment, that would only delay your bad feelings, but to completely exhaust yourself, let your anger out, be really physically tired.
Not just a bit yoga and a few pushups. Feel your body, feel what you can do and feel the limits.
In order to stop self hate, you must relearn to listen to your body.
Do you have any sorts of indoor plants? I’ve found that having some amount of Nature indoors helps alot. Lockdowns suck and having some outdoors indoors helps.
What sorts of hobbies do you have? If you have twenty bucks lying around, you could buy a hot glue gun and some wooden shapes. Its pretty inexpensive and nice to look at something you made.
Feel free to toss me a PM
Yea this could be something to do with me being abused throughout my young age I don’t think a day past without me crying getting beat up by a family member or someone alse.
I was crying even for getting yelled at or abused by words until age 19 and I moved out.
Its totally normal and no reason to feel ashamed or weak; your body has its own memory and responds accordingly to things that could trigger the “body memory”, even if your mind “knows” better (“I am just getting yelled at, no one is physically hurting me”). I am 31 and I am still flinching sometimes when someone comes close to me in a somewhat sudden movement
My advice is to go back to the basics. If you’re struggling to commune with spirits, the most likely cause is that you aren’t getting deep enough into what EA calls the theta-gamma sync. I’ve been thinking of making a seperate thread on this issue, but really i’d focus on actually doing rituals for stuff, and focus less on the energy work.
That’s fine. You don’t need to really know any specific rituals. Most rituals i do are simply me casting a circle, making a sigil on paper of the entity i want to call up, and simply chant its name to come. That’s not the most important thing. The most important thing is getting into the theta-gamma sync. There are shortcuts to getting there
And since you mention porn…out of curiosity, how often do you masturbate to porn?
